December 01, 2006
This year's winner of the Literary Review Bad Sex Award:
"...we're lost in a commotion of grunts and squeaks, flashing unconnected images and explosions of a million little particles." Uh, yeah. The competition this year was, uh, "stiff", according to The Guardian, and "unstoppably on", according to The Independent. Well timed for the end of NaNoWriMo, which really should provide some of next year's contenders.
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AAAAARGH... LiTerary Review...
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aye, wendell old friend, ye've hereby surpassed yourself! ))) !!! my every part engorges behold me squeak and grunt while on these literary sheets I stiffly limn a c**t
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"Brass firedogs." I don't know what that means, but I still think it's priceless.
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Bonus content: They didn't do it this year, but in '05, the Guardian weblished all the passages on the nominations 'longlist', including works from John Updike, Paul Theroux, Salmon Rushdie and Ben Elton ("The Young Ones", "Blackadder 2, 3 & 4", etc.).
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*steals weblished, clutches it to his buzz 'em*
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This will wendell, wendell.
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It took me 7 years to become a MetaFilter meme (right after jessamyn noted my nick is an anagram for "end well"). It should be noted that THIS WILL NOT END WELL = WENDELL TOLLS WITHIN = WENDELL WILL NOT SHIT = WENDELL WITH ILL SNOT = WENDELL SHOT ILL TWIN = WENDELL WHO TILLS TIN = WENDELL WILL HIT TONS = WENDELL WILLS TO THIN and those are my final words on the subject (today)
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Brass firedogs would certainly be beset pet(s). Ugh that was too much work. Bitch elect elves pee tot has more zazz anyway.
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mondegreens for wend dull wen dull deep poor pool falls over seedy guardian walls and the stars begin to twang gulls in the sky in the midst of a mirrory ewe under bigotry braiding my mane without snide
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It's just like Lewd Len, posting peep-show scramblings.
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“Wendell”—now that’s the sort of name you can take home to mother.