November 25, 2006
It either bites, stings, hops, or baaas
Australia has some wicked strange animals. They can be divided into three categories: poisonous, odd, and sheep.
Whether it's under water or in your boot, slithering, flightless, or swimming, Australia has some nastys.
And then there's the plant life.
Selection pressure must must produce the "Irwin gene."
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*waits for the Chy-imput
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You get used to it.
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Sensible people stay away.
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sensible people don't put their hands in holes it seems sensible people use poles but Australian folk will pat the head of a snake whose venom would knock 'em all dead no I get no kick from champagne but that double-wattled cassowary's broken my kneecap, my shinbone, my femur again
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No way will I ever click on any of those links.
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And, of course, I had to click on your 'boot' link. Thanks, that extra half hour I spend vacuuming my shoes won't make any later for work. At All. *hides under bed until further notice*
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I have had whitetail spiders in my house regularly. The bites from these lovelies are often not more dangerous than a bee sting, but some who are susceptible get effects similar to necrotising fasciitis, which is where the flesh around the wound dies, sometimes threatening whole limbs. Whitetail spiders are common in gardens & often come inside seeking warmth & moisture. Redback spiders are also ubiquitous. Dugites and other mega poisonous snakes are everywhere. But most dangerous of all are the Drop Bears.
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whitetails = likewise. They can take being frozen to -80C too (random factoid). This was discovered when my Dad stuck one under a microscope - to make the little bugger stay still it spent an hour or so in the -80 freezer first. But those microscope lights are kinda warm and first one leg, then another and then....zip, up off and away into a dark corner, never to be seen again.
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Yeah, #2's uncle got bitten by a whitetail (we have them here too) last year and spent some time in hospital -- not because of the bites but because of an unknown allergy to penicillin.
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While preparing to bed down on a friends couch in Warrnambool I had a whitetail fall out of a blanket and land on my bare foot. No bites but it made for a fitful sleep, wondering if any other exotic critters were sharing my bed. At least they don't have to worry about the dreaded hoop snake down under.
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Gawrsh! I had no idea that a platypus could harm one. What a diverse lot of ways to be harmed by other life forms - boot sellers must do very well in Australia. *thanks longish Canadian winters for the dearth of nasties here*
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Ack! Scary real life stories. Chy: What is a Drop Bear?
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Chy's house: Chy's footwear: Gold is for formal SpongeBob affairs.
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A Drop Bear, Phascolarctos Hodgsonii, is a an arboreal carnivorous marsupial. Drop Bears are not cuddly & ky00t like their relative the Koala. They are vicious. They inhabit treetops & attack their prey by dropping onto their heads from above. Of all the ways to die in the bush this is the most horrible. They grow to around 4 feet in height. They are covered in a dense fur, which can range from almost black to the Alpine Drop Bear's snowy white coat. They have razor sharp claws on all four limbs. They are able to walk for short distances on two legs, but are much faster on all four, being capable of bursts of speed approaching 60 km/h. Their heads are similar to those of koalas, but with enlarged sharp canine teeth. Drop Bears are evil. Luckily they have been found to be allergic to submachinegun rounds. When walking in the bush, you can tell a Drop Bear is in a tree by spitting upwards into it. The Drop Bear will spit back down at you.
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They're a distant cousin of the snipe.
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It's really not that bad. In the last two weeks I've almost run over an Eastern Brown and a Copperhead on my mountain bike. They both made it into the shrubbery before I could photograph them. I refrained from rootling around with my bare hands looking for them. It's the bunyips that scare me.
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Only if you post a link, Chy. And even then.... *tunes skeptimeter
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In my search of wiki for drop bear info, I found this nugget of previously unknown botany about the eucaplytus: "Arbitrary detachment of old branches is common with certain species of the eucalyptus, which are known as 'widow-makers' for this very reason." Even the trees are after your ass.
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MonkeyFilter: Even the trees are after your ass. *bows in the general direction of the venerable Tenacioius.
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GramMa, you planning a trip to Oz or something? You got plenny narsty critters not far from you!
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Tick, Oz is an interesting place. Hopping critters with their own purses? Things that quack like a duck, but aren't? Chy? What's not to be fascinated by the place? I'll keep my nastys, thank you. They're pretty tame compared to Oz.
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Things that quack like a duck but aren't Chy? We've got a bunch of Kookaburras that hang around the place here, right in the middle of a pretty busy road (there are a lot of big trees, tho). Really great to hear them start cackling in the morning or late evening. They've been giggling away because of a bit of showery weather amidst the growing humid days approaching summer, which seems to get them excited. You only ever hear the 'kook kook kook kak kak kak' on tv shows (usually Tarzan or whatever in the background, anachronistically) but they start gurgling loudly before they go off on that cackling jag. Very funny birds. Like huge brown Kingfishers. Huge beaks. Spiders from arsehole to breakfast down here. As a kid in Oz, it was pretty tough, because I had a fearsome spider phobia, but I've eased up on it as I've gotten older. Still can't get near the big ones, but little ones are ok. When looking at the big dinner-plate sized ones that sit on the wall in summer, I tend to shiver & shake like someone with st vitus' dance. I invented a tool to get rid of those without squashing them (which is worse than anything because you have to *feel* them! UGH) however. It involves a cut up plastic coke bottle and a long shower rod! Very impressive to see a flock of black cockatoos fly over, all squealing. Black! Cockatoos! Squealing! I had a friend with a pet Kangaroo. They are fairly laid back creatures. I don't think the authorities like you having them as pets, but they do become humanised.
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a largeish kangaroo can kick a hole through me and you here's my motto: if I must have 'roo make mine a poto-
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I miss the swan-song of the BasilDraks; the sweet, "patois, patois!" of that genteel warble.
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They're migratory.
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MonkeyFilter: Hopping critters with their own purses
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I'll see your pursed hopping critters and raise ye: Monkeyfilter: I don't think the authorities like you having them as pets, but they do become humanised.
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MonkeyFilter: Of all the ways to die in the bush this is the most horrible. Take THAT!
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Things that quack like a duck but aren't Chy? whenever and whatever I lack or when I feel Down (if not precisely Underish) I think of manxome things that haunt the Outback they may come scaled or imp-possibly fur-ish seem drop-bear bold or numbatically shy then I grin, knowing none of 'em's quite like Chy
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A Drop Bear might appear ferocious With a toothsome, snaggly frown In contrast, when he's out of focus A Drop Chy just falls down
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A steaming heap of wombat's do makes walkabout quite slimy - a cuppa tea and scones will help. Who's pouring? Why, it's Chymie!
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Traveling with a Kangaroo When our Chy does stub his toe He usually will say, " #^&*)%@*($ Ouch!" If he can't limp, he'll often go walkabout in a pouch.
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Chy likes to pose as a rough sort of bloke from the back o' beyond where they don't give two shits, but we know 'e knows how to crack the odd joke and 'is heart is as big as two kangaroo tits.
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uh ... do kangaroos have tits? do wild bears ... oh, quick, cancel that thought, bees!
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A sale of two titties?
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I keeps 'em in me pocket I keeps 'em quite well hid No-one gits to see 'em 'cept me Joey (that's the kid).
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Kangaroos don't have tits. They have teeny tiny nipples in their pouches. That's it. Some marsupials are so primitive that they just exude milk thru pores in their skin.
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That strikes me as advanced, really. It'd be hell on the fashion industry, I suppose...
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Come see the Milk Quay Whey!
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They have teeny tiny nipples in their pouches. Of course Chy knows this. and 'is heart is as big as two kangaroo tits. Let the facts stand!
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>:(
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I said to ol' roo tit "'ello roo tit!" said I But not feeling gracious Was mad old Sir Chy And so doffed my red ballcap And off I did fly To loft with the grackles And bide the sweet by
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hmmm... two bunyip boobs?
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... and a part ridge in a bare tree
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A 16-foot python stalked a family dog for days before swallowing the pet whole in front of horrified children in the Australian tropics