March 05, 2004

Build your own time travel machines. Schematics available for the Biotronic Oscillator, the Chronological Time Reflector, and the Demat Cannon, among others. Plans and diagrams emailed to you for $20; the Hyperdimensional Resonator comes fully assembled for $590. Note: highly experimental!
posted by JoeChip 20 years ago
  • That hyperdimensional Resonator, down at the bottom of the page, is just my cup of tea. Two dials, a couple of switches, a red light and a rubbing plate, and some jack-points for connecting the wires that are attached to my head. And it plugs into a normal 110v outlet. Over here in the UK, our outlets run at 240v, so I'll probably get an even bigger bang for my buck. Might have to upgrade to some HT leads for the connection to my head, though.
  • Anyone care to E-mail them and ask why are they trying to sell the plans for small profit when they can just go back in time and make a killing on the stock market?
  • Apparently the Hyperdimensional Resonator setting is stuck on "1929".
  • Well, the obvious answer is that the time travel/stock trick won't necessarily work often. If you go and invest X amount of money in a company, if that amount is enough it will be noticed by other investors, then you'll find that pattern of investments would be different. Plus, that may cause problems for you later on, with your entire timeline being wiped out because you invested poorly (from a temporal perspective). It's much wiser to give time travel ability to random people for $20. I fail to see any negative ramifications from that.
  • But will they send me the Plutonium so I can generate 1.21 jigowatts?
  • Anyone care to E-mail them and ask why are they trying to sell the plans for small profit when they can just go back in time and make a killing on the stock market? Apparently the Hyperdimensional Resonator setting is stuck on "1929". Or maybe the machine only goes forward - and then back again. Or maybe the machine moves you through time, but not space, so you go back to 1930 to kill Hitler and you end up materialising in the middle of nowhere, on the other side of the sun, and freeze to death immediately. Or maybe...
  • According to the Cosmic Song from Monty Python's Meaning of Life, "The sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see, are moving at a million miles a day," so we're actually 27 billion miles from that Hitler target in 1930.
  • Folks, don't forget about the JetPacks or the Hoverboards!!
  • Unfortunately, due to the nature of the structure of the Spacetime Continuum, things like shooting your grandfather before he meets your grandmother, killing Hitler, or making a profit via stockmarket/horseracing are not possible. You merely create another State Vector of the Multiverse in which those events happen, or already happened.. but this originating world vector remains unchanged. Bah!! (this is all bullshit cos I just made that up, just like the guys on this site)
  • Ah, that's just great. When I opened up my brand new Hyperdimensional Resonator, I was missing a part. Looks like I'm short a flux capacitor.
  • Now I know what to do with that old Delorean in the back yard.
  • But the Libyans are no longer selling plutonium, are they?
  • Nah, but I'm sure there's somebody in Pakistan who'll sell you some if you need it.
  • I use Ununpentium 115 in my temporal distortion unit. It's a lot more stable than plutonium. None of that nasty radiation and stuff. Just ask John Titor.
  • I wonder if we should buy certainsome1 one of these for his play...