October 20, 2006

Maca denies wife pot in which to piss. The Evening Standard reports Mills filed a 13-page petition with the court in London, alleging, among other things, that McCartney "would not let her have an antique bedpan under their bed to save her crawling to the bathroom at night."
posted by mandyman 18 years ago
  • Well, not the antique bedpan! I mean come on, what's next, the little flower-shaped soaps in the bathroom?!?
  • She's too good for a bucket?
  • No. Too proud. Piss-proud
  • If she had the foresight to strap a unicycle to her stump before retiring this problem would never arise.
  • What's wrong with the bathroom? We have one... and we do use it at night.
  • The Lady McCartney has but one leg.
  • Hop to it, then!
  • As a biped, I can't say for certain how much trouble it would be for her to get to the bathroom at night. I've had injuries that rendered one leg or the other temporarily useless, though, and I can't imagine wanting to resort to a bedpan (even a fancy antique one) if there was any practical way of avoiding it. Once when I was in the hospital after hip surgery, I used a potty chair for a few days, but only because A. I was in considerable pain, B. I was connected to two IV lines, and C. I had a UTI that had me getting up to go every two hours. Surely they could afford to have the house laid out any way they liked (like putting the bed closer to the bathroom door). Or keep a walker or wheelchair by the bed at night. I dunno, maybe she was ill at the time, and getting to the loo required more effort than normal.
  • I believe she was pregnant at the time. But shurely Sir Paul could get a manservant to help his Lady to the loo. Hell, for the money he has, he could buy one of Medusa's slaves...
  • oh, that Sir P! he was so mean to me! wouldn't let me keep my antique chamberpot beneath the bed instead he said my dear that damn thing really stinks an awful lot
  • It's a lover's spat, innit? Everything but the chamberpot gets thrown. Um, except in this case.
  • The Post adds it usual touch of class. Sweet Mothra, do I miss the Post. As news, it stinks, but as sheer entertainment, nothing beats it...
  • Meanwhile, The Times of London reported that the stack of leaked divorce documents suspiciously did not contain several pages containing information that would have made Mills look bad. . . . McCartney friend Cilla Black, a well-known British TV host, told the Daily Mail that he doesn't believe the claims of violence for a second. He? Hm. Well, the things you learn!
  • Did Cilia Black get a sex change or can the post not read?
  • ... leaked divorce documents ... Oh my feet and whiskers!
  • Did Cilia Black get a sex change or can the post not read? Step inside, love!
  • I had my freaking spine cut open, and I insisted on walking (slowly) to the bathroom a few hours later. I would rather have monkeys poking me with rotten bananas than use a bedpan if I had any choice at all. I'm sick of this job that keeps me working too hard and makes me miss events like this! Next, it'll be the day our little Pete wears pants, and I'll find out a week later. *sniffs*
  • Heather to sue papers, testify as to her bathroom habits. (Choice photo. "No antique bedpan makes me angry. You would not like me when I am angry...")
  • BWHah! Oh man where'd they find a photo of her shooting pea soup out of her nose?? By TARIQ PANJA, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 32 minutes ago LONDON - Heather Mills McCartney's lawyers said Tuesday she is suing two newspapers over "false, damaging and immensely upsetting" stories surrounding her divorce from Paul McCartney. I believe it's "Sir" Paul, Tariq. Dress that line, mister.
  • Aww... they changed the picture. Cowards.
  • I'd forgive him if he'd change his name to "Tariq Panda."
  • Found it. Bless The Google.
  • "One of the things I’ve used on the Google is to pull up maps. It’s very interesting to see that. I forgot the name of the program..." Would that be Google Maps?
  • "The Google" is going to take off like "internets", now, isn't it?
  • Shhh. It's a secret.
  • I like "Der Google." Kind of like "Der Bingle."
  • comment i've copied from someone anonymous: Heather Mills has blamed the breakdown of her marriage to Sir Paul McCartney on 'constant intrusion' into the couple's private life. It seems a shame that Heather objects so much to the public taking an interest in her personal business. If only she had mentioned it in one of her two published autobiographies, A Single Step and Out On A Limb, or in the 'About Heather' section of her website www.heathermillsmccartney.com, or perhaps when she sold her life story to the News of the World in 1993. Perhaps then the public would have got the message and left her to live her life out of the constant glare of publicity.
  • Mac speaks but not much, really.
  • Story Highlights • Paul McCartney says he's seen psychiatrist since breakup • Ex-Beatle often turns to songwriting to work through emotions • He and Heather Mills announced split in May In other news: • Sun is bright, really fuckin' hot • I like pie • Jesus-freaky Americans hate teh ghey
  • Heather Mills to get fifty mils. So... let's see. Four years of marriage, 365 days a year, 24 hrs in a day, so that's35,040 hours, fifty million divided by 35,040... $1,426.94 an hour. Not as good a rate as the Emperor's Club, but it's much steadier work.
  • Did you factor in that there are eight days in each of Paul's weeks?
  • My TUM crush is blossoming into all-out love.
  • *turns on moneyjane signal over city, so she can save us all*
  • Holy crap she's good. TUM, that is.
  • TUM for the huge alimony settlement! Heather for the pothole!