October 20, 2006

• Aw, shit. Here we go.
• Does Donnie Darko have anything to say about this?
• This Turkmenbashi sounds like a strange fellow. MoFi should keep a watch on his activities in case he does more goofy things.
• this reminds me of the ironical sign on the Calvary Baptist church down the street from me which says "No mind is open which is closed to God."
• I like that we took him on as a cause. The problem, however, is that no one (including the Bashi) will ever read what we say. Well, it does give us a picture into the psyche of a crazy man running a country. Oh.
• I thought Turkenistan was out and Uzbekistan was in, thanks to the Borat effect...
• Is he a... *snigger snigger* a... *teehee* a JIVE TURKEY? *runs out of room cackling madly*
• This is just a transparent attempt to wrestle back the focus of Western mockery from Kazakhstan. I'm playing into the man's hands, I know.
• Now, a new monkey, using our much-maligned but nonetheless functional MoFi Search, might well conclude this is the 12th Turkmenbashi thread. 1.Turkmenbashing President Saparmurat Niyazov - or Turkmenbashi, as he likes to be known - has just unveiled a gigantic glittering book-shaped building celebrating press freedom. #12893 2.On the importance of Turkmenistan. etc #11568 3.Turkmenbashi the Bastard etc #11037 4.Turkmenbashi!! ...no lip-synching etc #9576 5.Live Music ONLY! Turkmenbashi ... went on to ban recorded music. etc #9572 6.Happy Melon Day, Love Turkmenbashi etc #9484 7.Nobody reads books or go to libraries, now that the glorious Turkmenbashi has given us the only book worth reading. #8336 8.Turkmenbashi has nothing on Kim Jong Il, who has just started a campaign against that most bourgeois of enemies to Workers' Paradise: long-haired dudes. etc #6791 9.The Observer Magazine has a lengthy article about MoFi's favourite bonkers dictator. etc #5070 10.Turkmenbashi.org and the Turkmenbashi cult. For those in the know, and those who don't even want to know, here it is. #4677 11.President Saparmurat Niyazov - or Turkmenbashi, as he likes to be known - has just banned television presenters from wearing makeup.etc #4027 12.The 'Bashi Thread President Saparmurat Niyazov - or Turkmenbashi, as he likes to be known - has just banned long hair. And beards. #1178 But that's not all, searching under Thread Comments yields these: 13.President Niyazov of Turkmenistan has ordered the building of an ice palace etc #4002 14.God Almighty, why all this talk, Why must we prattle about a handful of dust? #4446 Number 12 above, thanks to flashboy's lively writing, started it all. And so interested monkeys can use this thread for reference to a facet of MoFi history as well as learning a about the dismal dictatorship of Turkmenbashi. One further sidelight on MoFi history: tracicle is also known, thanks to Turkmenbashi's omnipresence, as Monkeybashi.
• What is this??? A SCHOOL FOR ANTS?!
• Mind ye, there's a huge problem about all these threads: their collective presence is a refutes any idea MoFi doesn't allow double posts. Or duodecimal posts, etc, as the case may be. /admires his reflection in his magnificent new loonsuit
• I hear he is building a giant boot to celebrate the flowering of freedom under his reign.
• Wait, I'm confused. Is this what urinals in Turkenistan look like??
• There are no Turkentoilets.
• Unless ye count 'Bashi.
• Turkmenflushy
• We need a Radio Free Monkeystan to broadcast some monkeygoodness into these places.
• Do they have one or more of the Internets there?
• Bashi has a tight chokehold on all media in Turkmenistan.
• The World of Turkmenbashi Tales amusement park now open! 54 rides aimed to educate Turkmenistan's children on the world and their own culture! Good thing too, because now that the libraries have been shut down they need to get their learning somewhere!
• Turkmenbashi dead of a heart-attack Wow. The end of an era.
• .