October 18, 2006

Santorum Explains Tolkien!
posted by Nickdanger 18 years ago
  • I'd prefer to see Tolkien explain Santorum. (Well, you knew somebody would say it.)
  • The U.S. government *is* using LSD after all!
  • This guy is a fuckin' idiot.
  • The whole scene in DC is Orc-ward.
  • /collapse
  • "I know that's the question everybody wants to ask. But I don't think anyone would ask that question in 1944, 'Gee, how long are we going to be in Europe?' We're going to be in Europe until we win." When you ask un-patriotic questions, God Mordor kills a kitten.
  • Sweet fucking Jesus.
  • You know, they sounded saner when they claimed god told them to invade and such...
  • So the eye of mordor is on Iraq according to the divinations of bumsex byproducts and some harsh piped Tolkein. What is that? Like fecomancy or some shit?
  • You know, they sounded saner when they claimed god told them to invade and such... No, this is par for the course...
  • "..according to the divinations of bumsex byproducts and some harsh piped Tolkein. What is that? Like fecomancy or some shit?" :D You are awesome!
  • Ya might want to mention that these Salon articles are unapproachable if one is Firefoxing with Adblock on...
  • I would like to take this opportunity to mention that these Salon articles are unapproachable if one is Firefoxing with Adblock on. Unless you're me, and it's yesterday, in which case it worked magnificently. Not today, though.
  • a dog sits at his computer rtd: hey there! a salon article! cool! i'll be right over! salon article: fuck off. you're trying to firefox me and i won't let you. rtd: hey come back! article:...and you're wearing adblock! i'm outta here. article exits, running rtd: *sobs*
  • Click on the sponsor logo to read this article and all of Salon for free Er...no. Fuck you very much.
  • "Whitelist this whole site"?
  • http://www.salon.com/news/cookie756.html That link *should* give you your Salon cookie.
  • I've been able to get into Salon with FF and Adblocker. Huh.
  • I PWN!!!
  • Yeah, somebodies' doin' somethin' wrong if they can't, meredithea. I've never had a problem. Tho, of course, I PWN
  • Having read the article with the help of Chy's cookie, which does indeed pwn, I feel that I must point out to Sen. Santorum that it's the Eye of Sauron, you nitwit.
  • Yummy cookie - thanks!
  • I spent exactly 1 minute reading the first few paragraphs and was too repulsed to continue. I can't bear to see one of my fondest mythologies defaced by that caricature of a human, Santorum.
  • Santorum=Sanitorium? He overused I, so they left him.
  • For the followers of Dan Savage's Savage Love, he's known as "Frothy Mix." Apt description.
  • "As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else," Santorum said. "It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S. You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States." So in the third book of Lord of the Rings, the two hobbits Frodo and Sam are making their way deep into the heart of Mordor with the ring. A desperate final assault is staged against impossible odds to draw Sauron's eye away from the hobbits. If Iraq is that desperate final assault, the United States (where the eye should not fall) is equivalent to the questing halflings in a hellish land. What is the quest here? What halflings (perhaps a reference to the next generation of voters) must reach the fiery mountain (the high-growth states) and destroy the ring (the power of dialogue)? Although I think he means to cast the trrrists in the light of malignant goblins, orcs, ogres, and balrogs, then give them a centralized mind - a hive. A good narratorial technique - except when exploring the comparison confuses it immensely.
  • Mordor=Bad=Terrorism There. That's the full depth of his rhetorical flourish.
  • S A U R O N ----------- S A D D A M S A R U M A N ------------- S A N T O R U M eh? coincidence? huh?
  • Santorum's ads for re-election here in PA are just awful. He seemingly wrote them to get me to vote against him. I would anyway, but it's nice to know that he doesn't want people like me and mine (you know (soon to be) working mothers who are gay friendly).
  • So, the soon-to-be-former-senator is claiming that if we keep the terrists occupied in Iraq they won't come mess with the USA? Is that why we are in this slippery, shitty, mess?
  • G O L L U M ------------ T O N Y S N O W
  • Nazis!