October 12, 2006

How to dispose of an elephant carcass - the FAO is brimming over with Interesting Stuff:

Elephant care manual for mahouts and camp managers, camel husbandry, compare the nutrient values of eland, giraffe and warthog meat, Ticks in a Changing World, how to make cheese from camel milk. related: Guidelines for performing an elephant necropsy (pdf) - chainsaw required.

  • Make an LED elephant throwie?
  • For those who haven't actually read the article, the elephant was already dead. At first, the elephants are likely to mate up to ten times a day but after a while this will reside to two or three times a day. Man, isn't that always the way. This is a great post. But now that I know how, my wife is going to make dispose of all those elephant carcasses in the back yard.
  • Just blow it up with dynamite.
  • Yeah, festoon the neighborhood with elephant entrails. That's going to go over REAL well. Maybe closer to Halloween.
  • Freeze it and semi-bury it in your back yard. Then call the paleontologists and tell them that you unearthed a mammoth while you were putting in your sprinkler system. Gets 'em every time.
  • Undertaker: Yea. Now there's three things we can do with your elephant. We can bury her, burn her, or dump her. Man: Dump her? Undertaker: Dump her in the Thames. Man: What? Undertaker: Oh, did you like her? Man: Yes! Undertaker: Oh well, we won't dump her, then. Well, what do you think: a burner, or a burier? Man: Um, well, um, which would you recommend? Undertaker: Well they're both nasty. If we burn her, she gets stuffed in the flames, crackle, crackle, crackle, which is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead. But quick. And then you get a box of ashes, which you can pretend are hers. Man: Oh. Undertaker: Or, if you don't wanna fry her, you can bury her. And then she'll get eaten up by maggots and weevils, nibble, nibble, nibble, which isn't so hot if, as I said, she's not quite dead. Man: I see. Um. Well, I.. I.. I.. I'm not very sure. She's definitely dead. Undertaker: Where is she? Man: In the sack. Undertaker: Let's 'ave a look. Umm, she looks quite young. Man: Yes, she was. Undertaker: (over his shoulder) FRED! Fred: (offstage) Yea! Undertaker: I THINK WE'VE GOT AN EATER! Fred: (offstage) I'll get the oven on! Man: Um, er...excuse me, um, are you... are you suggesting we should eat my elephant? Undertaker: Yeah. Not raw, not raw. We cook her. She'd be delicious with a few french fries, a bit of broccoli and stuffing. Delicious! (smacks his lips) Man: What! Well, actually, I do feel a bit peckish - NO! No, I can't! Undertaker: Look, we'll eat your elephant. Then, if you feel a bit guilty about it afterwards, we can dig a grave and you can throw up into it. Man: All right.
  • Just one of the many reasons why flushability is a crucial factor in deciding on a pet.
  • "Yeah, festoon the neighborhood with elephant entrails. That's going to go over REAL well." Should I have used a sarcasm tag & a link to the exploding whale video?
  • Screw worms!
  • Oh, believe me, I've tried. Little buggers wriggle around too much.
  • Claim: In 1970, the Oregon Department of Transportation attempted to dispose of a whale carcass by blowing it up. Status: True. Worm LED throwies! Get yer worm LED throwies! Guaranteed to irritate, horrify, creepitate and desecrate! Worm LED throwiieees!
  • Should I have used a sarcasm tag & a link to the exploding whale video? Yes. Especially the exploding whale video.
  • Lotsa neat stuff here, Fish Tick! I like the Fishing Boat Designs Thanks!
  • I'm a little disappointed that nobody took exception to the camel husbandry link.
  • Hey, I know a guy in the FAO! Nothing to do with pheliphamts, though.
  • I heard ya, Chyren.
  • I like the expression on the face of the camel immediately under the heading "rutting" on that camel husbandry page.
  • Knowing how to dispose of an Elephant Carcass might come in handy following the Nov. 7 elections here in the US.
  • Pleg--you find that attractive, don't you? Com'on, you're among friends here. Admit it.