October 09, 2006

Children's Letters To God "Dear God, I am Amareican, what are you?" "Dear God, I think the stapler is one of your greatest invention" "Dear God, if you let the dinasor not exstinct we would not have a country. You didthe right thing." via

Dear Godthra, Why come does Koko live in the freeze? Please give quidnik a girlfriend and kitfso kitty. Your pal, Ptebste

posted by petebest 18 years ago
  • God's a pretty awful pen-pal. He never writes back.
  • dear god, please drop an anvil on shrub's head. your friend, little medusa
  • Kids pray the darnedest things!
  • Feared Cthulhu, Unless you start eating the flesh and tearing apart the souls of those that truly deserve it, NOW, I will renounce your faith and go worship Hello Kitty, or maybe become a Babarist. Flagpole Don't eat me first, please
  • Wow, that so fake.
  • Dear God, Please send me some stamps. Thanking you, etc.
  • Flagpole, convert to Pastafarianism. they deliver more pirates! (did I tell you all that I was touched by his noodly appendage at Burning Man????????)
  • I WON'T BELIEVE IN HEAVEN OR HELL NO SAINTS, NO SINNERS, NO DEVIL AS WELL NO PEARLY GATES, NO THORNY CROWN YOU'RE ALWAYS LETTING US HUMANS DOWN THE WARS YOU BRING, THE BABES YOU DROWN, THOSE LOST AT SEA AND NEVER FOUND AND IF YOU'RE UP THERE YOU'D PERCEIVE THAT I SHOULD BE GIVEN THE SMITING HORN YOU RUN THIS PLACE WITH AND GABRIEL'S TOOTER FOR CHY, THANKS.
  • der god when come bak bring pie thx
  • Dear God, Why invent brussel's sprout and cholera? BAD GOD. BAD!!! --Me.
  • 'Dear God' indeed Koko! And, Medusa, I became an outcast from the FSM church when I tried to taste the holy meatballs. Ah, just a nibble... And we want graphic proof of that holy communion in the desert, of course!
  • Dear God, Please smite Bush, and make Petebest put his pants on. Thank you.
  • Flagpole, if only you knew where the FSM touched me with his NA!! no pics available tho :P
  • Ah, those frisky gods: always meddling with the hot human women...
  • Huh. You think I would have noticed that pete wasn't wearing pants. Must be the Donald Duck Effect.
  • Dear Cod, You tatse delicious with chips and coleslaw. Love, TUM
  • especially if cod brings some pie for dessert :)
  • Hey, KIDS! God ain't gonna answer any of your GODDAMNED LETTERS! He (and I only capilalized that because it was the beginning of the sentence) is too busy surfing YouTube and reminiscing to the sound of the Big Bang to screw with your puny requests. So get a life and learn to use GMail.
  • Ralph is my ray of sunshine. *beams*
  • You are my sunshine My only sunshine You make loud noises As your hydrogen molecules inonize. You'll never know, dear How much my outward force of heat balances my gravity. Please don't take My fusion away.
  • Eagles tune. Smoke some, sing: "You can't hide Your inonize. And your smile is a thin disguise. I thought by now you'd realize There ain't no way to hide your inonize."
  • Dear God Why do the French have better choccy milk than us Brits? Why? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? I'm sending The Dawkins in to get you. You have been warned. Fanks
  • We have the Carnation Instant Breakfast over here. God luvs us more.
  • You're as good as French over there any way.
  • I choose to believe that means I am tres chic!
  • And tres chaud! Grrrowrrrrr! Enh heh heh hehnnhh . . ehh.
  • It actually means you are a stinky soap-dodger with quizling tendancies.
  • *KLAXON* *KLAXON* KITFISTO IS DISPARAGING THE FRENCH!! SEIZE HIM!! *KLAXON* *KLAXON*
  • And neither can he spell.
  • Dear Flying Pasketti Monster: Please next time meatballs with fra diavolo sauce. It is the yummiest. PS smite someone with a noodle where I can get a picture. That would be cool. Your pal CLF.
  • If you're French, doesn't that mean you're a cheese-eating surrender monkey?
  • Nevahrrr!! Henh hawh heh hawwhh! er, but then I'm not necessarily French.