I was exposed to ten centimetres of ass crack the other day in the fruit shop when some hipster in low riders dropped his change on the floor. I'd call that an embarrassment.
I maintain that the redneck or hilljack [baseball] cap should only be worn by folk willing to chew tobacco, spit copiously, and develop cancer of the mouth a few years down the road.
Those five-pound chain necklaces didn't make the list?
It's interesting how long hair (on men) was in vogue from 1970-1990. Now that short-cropped guys are fathering today's kids, I wonder if rebellious long hair will come back in the 2010s.
Rebellious long hair is back. Check out commercials aimed at preteens, and accompanying shows. The look right now for junior high guys, at least if TV is to be believed, is very similar to the hair that Wiley Wiggins (the freshman protagonist) had in Dazed and Confused.
As far as the link, I agree with most of it, but I think he has the wrong idea about legwarmers. They were actually part of the "professional dancer" look that was fashionable on non-dancers in the early 80s and consisted of items based on warm-up wear worn by actual dancers. Legwarmers, open-necked shirts, tights, circle skirts in t-shirt knits, tiny mohair sweaters that tied in front, shoes and boots that looked like jazz shoes and boots, etc. At any rate, I hate them. They're really ugly.
But. Last winter was my third in a colder climate than the one in which I lived from the ages of 11 to 27. Since energy prices were up, we were trying to save money on heating bills, and the result was that my lower legs and ankles were consistently so chilled that they hurt. Someone lent me a pair of ugly wool legwarmers, and I wore them under my pajama pants and over a pair of wool socks every night for almost the entire winter. So, they do serve a purpose, even for nondancers. (For dancers, they keep muscles warmed up during rest periods in air-conditioned studios. Full-body versions exist.*)
I just don't necessarily think that anyone should have to look at them.
*I may or may not know this because I may or may not have bought one for a modern dance class a while back. I admit nothing.
How is one expected to take this list seriously when it excludes stretchy stirrup pants?
*shudder*
Grills. Sweet God. No fashion accessory more guaranteed to make you never be taken seriously for anything, ever.
"The next thing you know Ludacris is going to piss himself on stage, and we'll have legions of kids walking around with a wet stain between their legs."
and, there you have it....
The list looked like it was mostly fashion trends that expose skin on men, and fashion trends that do not expose skin on women.
I would certainly include the low rise pants which look fine on 10 percent of people, bad on 50 percent, and horrible on 40 percent. I would also include any jeans that involve people paying extra to have fake worn-out holes, gunshot holes, or any other damage done to them. Why not pee-stained jeans or vomit stained t-shirts?
pee-stained jeans or vomit stained t-shirts
Given that today's idols tend to be lushes and drunkards, I think this trend will be here soon.
What the hell is with these capris, or whatever they're called now.
Too damn cheap to buy pants that fit?
And the originator of thong panties deserves a place in the lowest depths of hell. I don't care if she's hawt hawt hawt, whale tail is gagusting and just WRONG.
*suddenly feels very old realizing that "Fergie" here and in paper doll thread is not the Duchess of Whatsis*
Heh. Stryper.
Funny.
Why aren't there any shoes on this list? Fes, what's the top 10 worst shoe list?
Uh... the extra-high neon Converse All-Stars? You know, bright neon orange outside, lime green inside, if you laced them up correctly (as in, did not turn the tops down) they came up to your knees.
My older brother had a yellow pair. My younger brother had the orange. I thankfully never bought any.
I think perhaps the most horrific shoe fashion I have personally witnessed in recent years are those disgusting women's high-heeled boots designed to look like athletic shoes, or hiking boots etc., except with a three inch spike heel...*shudder*
I tried to find a picture, but you all got lucky I couldn't find any!
So, those long, sharp stiletto heels are fine with everyone? For me it brings up echoes of "let's keep the girls tottering 'cause it makes them seem whorish and vulnerable at the same time."
MonkeyFilter: whorish and vulnerable at the same time
That describes so many of our little ones....
QUID! Stop that!
There's a difference between clothes that were just a slightly different cut/colour/style in the past, and clothes that really were designed to look different one second, and stupid the next.
Bad fashion tends to be purely about an affectation, like a band-aid on the face. What's it for? Nothing.
But children beware:
Puffball skirts are back on the catwalk.
Bowler hats made an appearance last year.
'Snow wash' jeans, or selectively worn jeans are back.
If this 80's revival keeps up, we'll all look like an episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, or a Pringles ad.
i've noticed a minor resurgence of thin-lapelled, single-breasted, shiny grey flecked suits...
next up, the straight narrow leather ties reappear...
I owned a pair of MC Hammer pants.
And wore them.
Yes I did.
Here's a funny thing! Young people will wear whatever the fuck they like, and us old timers will cease to make know-it-all complaints when our slowly decaying bodies - riddled with arthritises, cancers and irritable bowel syndromes - finally sag into the grave, mourned by no-one, least of all beautiful, young people!
HA HA HA!
lol cancer lol
Pete: Top 10 Worst Shoe Choices
10. Curlie-cue jester shoes
9. Knee-high lace-up Ren Faire moccasins
8. Gym shoes with suits
7. Flip flops with everything
6. Flip flops with anything
5. Shoes made entirely of injection-molded plastic
4. Giant wooly mukluks
3. Tiny yet incredibly hard and fast-moving baby shoes whacking into my nuts
2. Birkenstocks with socks
1. Any shoe that's two sizes too small that you bought to pretend for the shoe salesman that your hobbitty feet are actually quite dainty and which since you insist on jamming your foot into, forcing your foot into a wincingly bad squash-up eerily reminscent of the piglet in the mason jar your oddball science teacher had on his desk back in junior high.
Bad fashion tends to be purely about an affectation
EXACTLY. Much fashion is affectation. The secret to pulling it off is making it seem natural/normal/unaffected - surreptitious affectation.
Excellent list Festicle! My concurrances.
Flip flops. ewww.
And condolences on #3, btw - wow that's gotta be awkward. "Ohh aren't you a little cutiiiIEAAAHHH! Ow ow ow shit! I'LL KILL YOU!! *whimper*"
I don't care if she's hawt hawt hawt, whale tail is gagusting and just WRONG.
"Whale Tale" -- nice one, GranMa! Friend of mine always called it Horse Ass, because all you see are those two massive flanks.
Repeated instances of #3 could lead to no more baby shoes in the future. Methinks the young one was trying to eliminate the competition.
I think my sons have, since birth, been trying for a spot of Ammerica's Funniest Home Videos, home of the fatherly shot-in-the-nuts. My littlest beaned me with a friggin sandbox shovel Saturday, for chrissakes, it nearly dropped me. I'm tempted to hie down to Sports Authority for a cup.
You gotta take that little motherfucker down a peg. He pulls out a shovel, you pull out an aluminum bat.
I would post an addendum to the Parachute Pants entry, which was the rolled-bandanas-tied-around-the-shins variation. My best friend through jr. high had something like 2 dozen bandanas he tied on every morning, ankle to knee on both legs. I never thought to ask why, but then he was the superhero, I was the sidekick.
I wore loose-fitting jeans and shapeless sweatshirts, cuz I was tubby.
and so, so lonely...
WAAH WAAH WAAH OTHER PEOPLE WON'T WEAR WHAT I TELL THEM TO WAAH WAAH HITLER HITLER WAAH
This is the most fascist website EVER. You know how much I hate you Nazis? Guess. No - more then that. Little more. Little more. Little - wait not that much, bring it in a touch - OK, yeah. THAT much, you fucking horrible haters. You all hate people because they don't measure up to your Nazi ideals of apparel-purity.
Let me tell you a story, that will probably make you weep tears of salty-hot shame when you realise what disgusting lives of endless malice you've all been living.
Once, there was a little boy, only 8 years old, who decided that he wanted to carry a handbag. He had lots of things to carry, like crayons and lego and stuff, so he got one of his Mom's old handbags and he carried his stuff in tha-
Hey, are you fucking laughing at me? Is this a joke to you? Just cause a boy wants to carry a handbag doesn't mean ANYTHING, OK? It certainly doesn't mean he's a SISSY. So just SHUT UP. Jesus.
Anyway, he went round to his friends' house across the road and they all started LAUGHING at me. I mean him. I wasn't even THERE, OK? Anyway, they crushed his little child-like spirit and he ran home and cried all the way.
So the next time you criticise someone's fashion choices you just think about that little sissy kid, crying so hard that he couldn't see where he was going and he got run over by a BUS. Or maybe I ran into a tree. Or something.
Anyway, if tracicle could just do the decent thing and (1) delete this post and (2) ban Fes, I think maybe that little boy wouldn't have died in vain - you child-killing Hitler-humpers.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA nice purse dude!
lol sissy handbag mary-boy lol
Dude, Heather always said you couldn't accessorize for shit.
I mean, mauve??
o dinna wear your flipflops
made o' Spanish leather
they won't do for riding horseback
or us being seen t'gether
Hey Nancy, where are your pearls to go with that purse?
*pistol-whips glammajamma with Glock taken from the HIDDEN POCKET*
I have to say, MCT, as man purses go, that one is the least, ah, questionable. You can stuff all the Glocks you want in it, though - it's STILL a man-purse.
Ok, gents, lemme ask: (a) what do you carry with you every day, and (b) how do you carry it? I'll be honest, I carry a lot: regular wallet; old wallet containing notebook, receipts, gun card, miniposties, etc; keys; tiny old man's pocketknife (my wife's grandfather's); breath strips; two-three pens; little Olympus voice recorder; little no-brand digicam; Treo; other cell phone (yes, two cell phones, shaddup); business card case/moneyclip thingamabob; handkerchief; cash. How do I carry all that crap? Jacket. Flat stuff (hankie, breath streeips, car key) into the pants pockets; everything else goes into the pockets of my jacket. Sometimes I feel like I could use a batman utility belt-HEY! Man purse alternative!! The Utility Belt.
In my pants pockets:
Wallet - kind of fat, contains 2 credit cards, 2 insurance cards, 2 library cards, 3 shopping cards, drivers license, $47.
Comb - gotta keep the remaining hairs in place.
Keys - 2 cars, 2 house, one that I don't know what it is for, but am afraid to throw away.
87 cents in change.
No electronic shit.
No purse or bag or sachel or harness of any kind.
By the way, I wore bell bottom jeans with platform soles, briefly, in the 70's. I am so, so glad that noone has any pictures.
All you sissies have fanny packs.
Hee! Fanny means something else outside of America! I so funnay!
Wallet: Actually a clear plastic ID badge holder (forces me to keep the volume down)
Keys: House, cars, cubicle cabinets (notorious pranksters around here)
Pocketknife: Gerber stainless lockback. Handy as hell.
Cash: Useful for buying stuff.
Ink pen: From which my genius floweth like the mighty Mississip.
That's all I can stand to carry in my pockets, and I don't wear jackets unless it's cool out. But to work I also bring:
--Coffee mug
--Coffee thermos (they serve shit here)
--32oz. Nalgene bottle (two of those of water per day)
--Removable hard drive
--PDA
--Pocket Moleskine
--Lunch and breakfast
--MP3 player (occasionally -- usually I just use the drive)
Hence the desire for a murse, or if you prefer, "briefcase," which amounts to the same thing, you goddamn yuppie douchebags. Right now I'm using a backpack, but it's a one-compartment job, and shoving everything down in the bottom of it just ain't working for me. So the bailout bag is my very attractive Plan B.
I have a briefcase; laptop bag, really (although sans laptop since leaving Wolfram & Hart for Granola Fields PR and Luv, Inc.). I don't keep any pursey-stuff in it though, just files, books and batteries.
It's okay, Fes. We understand. It's European.
FES WINS
FES WINS
FES WINS
God, that's the best list evar!
Oh, will you look at He-Fes, Macho-Master of the Universe, with his utility belt and his big penis and his briefcase and his lack of sexual abiguity.
*Recovers from pistol whipping*
Whats wrong Susan? Forget to take your Midol today.
*braces for impact*
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, Quid.
SHUT UP ABOUT MY HANDBAG ALREADY YOU NAZIS
Lighten dude, we think it's adorable.
*snicker*
Curlie-cue jester shoes
*slinks home to change*
Quid, can you stick my jar of Blistex in your man-purse? I don't have any pockets.
*snnnrktkhtp!*
I bet he's got a tin of Altoids in there - shake him and see!
Anyone seen Paul's grandfather?
mrs roryk recently bought me the most fabulous manbag ever. it's so nice i haven't used it yet.
i carry either a manbag (murse) or a bigger shoulder bag (crumpler) for work.
i stopped being self-conscious about my man bag about a year after i started using it. i like to think i'm scary looking enough that people don't pass comments (at least while i'm in earshot).
mrs roryk recently bought me the most fabulous manbag ever. it's so nice i haven't used it yet.
You got a link? We metrosexual hillbillies are constantly on the lookout for good bags.
Say boyah - you got a real purty manbag!
*wide-eyed smirk*
the most fabulous manbag ever.
*Walks into other room to muffle the intense laughter*
FES YOU FORGOT THE MOTHERTRUCKING UGG BOOTS...
worst goddamned footwear trend EVAR.
*slinks home to change boots*
*still waiting for link from roryk*
*Still contemplating how stupid grills look.*
'Legwarmers were a part of that whole "I got farted on by a rainbow" 80's trend.'
That cracked me up.
> *still waiting for link from roryk*
sorry, battlestar season 2 has arrived at home, rendering the internet obsolete in the evenings.
here's a photo (it makes the bag look slightly darker than it really is):
you can see it on www.bally.com under
collections > men's > accessories (it's all in flash so i can't do a direct link).
the bag itself is a good size. i could fit a 12" laptop in it if necessary. it doesn't have as many subdivisions as the one you link to above. there're maybe five sections, plus one of those phone pockets.
the most fabulous manbag ever.
*Walks into other room to muffle the intense laughter*
note to self: no matter how obvious or hackneyed the facetious choice of words might seem, there will be those for whom it is too subtle.
*awaits ascii revenge*
*awaits compliments on fabulous bag*
That is a babulous fag.
I mean...er...you know.
That bag's got sass.
Did it come with a checkbook holder?
*joins glammajamma*
face it roryk ... you're gonna get comments within earshot about that manbag however scary you look ... It's just too ... well ... nice ...
what's the dividing line between an unacceptable manbag and a perfectly acceptable bag to carry around the shit a man needs need to carry around??? (like smelly sports gear, a family size pack of condoms and a 6-pack of beer)
I'm guilty of walking out using a Timbuk2 cycle bag with lots of things I know I'm not going to need just so it looks full and useful and nothing like a manbag ....
what's the dividing line
Mauve.
> what's the dividing line
it's somewhere in the atlantic, and there's another in the channel/north sea.
Ok, that picture did me in. I can't visit this thread anymore or my coworkers will think I am going nuts.
Nice bag.
Don't worry, it will be even better when it has a few scuffs and dings from you coldcocking some asshole making smart comments. And lest someone pull a crack about your "hitting with a purse" they just better remember, Roryk doesn't even have to break stride to break your head.
Remember, REAL men don't worry about their sexuality, because they have confidence they got it where it counts.
And I notice there is a MRS. Roryk who likes to give presents to her man. Any comment on THAT, you womenless losers?
No, GranMa.
I have nesting purses, like matryushka dolls. I have a little black clutch that's barely more than a wallet. It hlods money, cards, checkbook, a pen, lip gloss, keys, and a cell phone. If I need more space, that can go into a bag that's big enough to hold that plus a notebook, a drink, pills, and my blood glucose meter. If needed, THAT can go into the ginormous tote that can also hold books, a lunch, or maybe a small anvil.
Hehe. GramMa said "cock" "ass" "crack" and "head" heheh.
*imagines TUM cavorting with a martini, bottle of vicodin and a small anvil*
Really, that stuff is pretty much out of the range of egregious fashion atricities that I've experienced. How about the poodle skirt? It was normally made of felt, and kept aloft by "crinoline. The crinoline was actually made of a stiff net, which one was advised to starch in a sugar solution.
My mother had better taste, so the felt skirt I got had pictures of autumn leaves, but one or more net underpinning were crucial. So, we went off to the beach in Santa Cruz, on our way to San Francisco. I got a serious sunburn on the backs of my legs, but just had to wear the fashion of the day. Stiff net, plus blisters is something I'll never forget.
And, by the way, the man bag is also known as the briefcase.
And, by the way, the man bag is also known as the briefcase.So you have to stroke a murse into a briefcase.
Forget I said that.
I admit, I carry around a lot of shit.
Wallet, iPod, with cord for listening to music, Laptop, PDA, Removable Drive, Digital camera, cellhphone, pocketknife...
the list goes on.
It's sad actually, I still use a sort of laptop backpack.
...I still feel like a student...
I don't have a murse, but I do have an anvil in my briefcase. It is a half-inch section of a 136-lb-per-yard train track. It is going to be a paperweight at work, but, in the mean time, can turn any bag into a weapon.
I have a backpack with ten-hundred pockets.
Take that, space coyote.
I notice there is a MRS. Roryk who likes to give presents to her man. Any comment on THAT, you womenless losers?
*cries*
You had your chance, quiddy. *flounces off in a huff*
I kid because I love... who am I kidding? *flounces off again*
*peaks out from behind gramma's skirts to see if the nasty haters have left*
*peaks out from behind glama's skirts to see if the nasty haters have left*
Wait, did I read that right?
It's called a kilt, thank you!
Yae knae dae is diffrent din yae? Ya puffter!
IS SCOWISH!
*punches the quidnunc kid in the face*
Stawp yae weepin yae wee faerei!
FUCK OFF
Awwwww, em soory. I loove yae still.
Fuck on
*clap clap*
Fuck off
*clap clap*
Fuck on fuck off...
...you fucker
For those of you without context, here you go.
I knew a girl that was called "The Clapper" but for an entirely different reason.
And how well did you know this woman? Hmm?
My husband wears kilts or skirts all the time. And he has a range of man-bags. And he looks hunky and manly and gorgeous :)
Yeah, we all know that, though. :)
Well, that last comment from Mothninja should have taken care of the discussion. Guess you guys dissin' the murse are walkin' away now with your little man-bags all shriveled up, ain'tcha?
I'm being cruel for your own good.
I'd like to take this time to point out that Mr. Ninja is, as we like to say here in the States, a European. And while no one questions for a minute his hunkiness, manliness, gorgeousness, et al, the fact remains that certain things that are perfectly acceptable in Europe - man-purses, speedos, socialism, berets, quidnunc - are, shall we say, considered a teensy bit fey over here.
Cultural differences, simple as that.
Oh yeah. My SO used to work with a Colombian who had a manbag. When his workmates mocked him, he calmly replied, "Where else would I keep my gun?"
I'd like to take this time to point out that Mr. Ninja is, as we like to say here in the States, a European. And while no one questions for a minute his hunkiness, manliness, gorgeousness, et al, the fact remains that certain things that are perfectly acceptable in Europe - man-purses, speedos, socialism, berets, quidnunc - are, shall we say, considered a teensy bit fey over here.
Cultural differences, simple as that.
I think I have said it before but damn it Fes I love you.
In a masculine North American sort of way
Guess you guys ... are walkin' away now with your little man-bags all shriveled up, ain'tcha?
*cries*
vitalorgnz, that is a beautiful anecdote :)
I think I have said it before but damn it Fes I love you.
Just remember to keep slapping the back as you hug or . . y'know.
i like to thinki'm scary looking enough that people don't pass comments (at least while i'm in earshot).So you have to stroke a murse into a briefcase.Forget I said that.love... who am I kidding? *flounces off again*