September 23, 2006

How to Be Sizzling Hot - Guide for Men - Do you want to be sizzling hot? "I know it's difficult for the women not to be affected by the constant bombardment of images of male perfection everywhere. It's understandable that when they look at those pictures of huge biceps and chiseled chins and then look over at you stuffing your fat face with nachos, they can't hide the look of disgust on their faces."
posted by Chyren 18 years ago
  • *quietly orders ball bra*
  • *lightly touches MCT* *recoils in agony* Damn! Way too hot. Turn it down already! *sucks on finger blister*
  • Finger blister, eh?
  • I am hairy, flabby, stupid and proud! Now, who's with me!!
  • Finger blister, eh? Not a euphemism.
  • My grandmother says I'm plenty hot already, tyvm.
  • A Serious Tip: Learn to dance. My tango instructor is a short, skinny, middle-aged man with bags under his eyes. But on the dance floor- sweet ghost of Fred Astaire, the man is HAWT.
  • Oh yeah a man who can move is definitely hawt. Also I've always found it hard to resist a man with a guitar....
  • Hmm. I have several guitars. A custom electric made by my cousin, among them.... :)
  • But I am fat and ugly. :(
  • Guitars hide a lot of deficiencies (~_^)
  • "(The BallBra makes me think of a Maya Angelou (the famous poet) quote that "Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable." LOL - at least I'm laughing.)" Ms Agelou is not amused.
  • oh, and noone wears a guitar more sexily than Prince. we can all agree he's not particularly attractive, but after seeing him in concert twice, he is undoubtedly hot.
  • pretty and attractive are utterly unrelated tho. Benecio Del Toro could perhaps be argued to qualify as ugly, but OMFG is that man HAWT!!!! I want to have his illicit luv child he's so hot! dancing men are very sexy, the confidence and lack of self-consciousness to get out on the dance floor is wonderful.
  • A muddy rugby shirt and a broken nose have been working for me.
  • learn how to cook really well
  • Oh shiverin' Christ on a busted pogo stick!! Do we have to do to men what we've done to women? No matter how many guys say they don't mind curves, the "ideal" woman has morphed in to some skinny plastic Barbie-bitch. Isn't it enough that a guy is well-groomed, funny, and willing to put out have fun? Do they all have to be some plastic GI Joe Hulk thing with the IQ of a beetle? (sorry the men I know that are "buff" are self-centered jackasses and as dumb as a pellowcase full of rocks) Gimmie a guy that looks like a cowboy, even if he has a bit of a pot-gut and grey hairs. It's the hat and the snaps on the shirt--and I lubs me some cowboy butt in those Lee Riders.
  • GramMa you're so cute. I have personally always preferred brains to brawn. GI Joe Hulks are not only pretty boring but usually not such suave lovers. I'll take me a cutely brainy nerdboy anyday :D
  • I like my boys nerdy, bespectacled, intelligent and obsessive, as long as the obsessive part is not about me.
  • Nerdly, stocky, and funny as hell. Gets me every time.
  • I personally thought this post would be derided mercilessly, as I put it up on a 1 munute whim. YOU PEOPLE ARE SO SHALLOW!
  • *licks hand, smoothes down hair*
  • MonkeyFilter: YOU PEOPLE ARE SO SHALLOW! Well, duh, Chy, make a tagline out of it, why don't you?
  • Monkeyfilter: make a tagline out of it, why don't you?
  • chyren wins the thread.
  • Because it's all a competition, isn't it?
  • yes, Wolof, and nice monkeys finish last! /kidding
  • And Bad Monkeys get Taglines!
  • Chy: I bow in your general direction.
  • I don't need to look after myself, I have a girlfriend. That said, I'M TEH HOTNESSSSSS
  • Look just tell me if the cucumber-wrapped-in-aluminum-foil is in or out. I've got a bass guitar to tune here.
  • You guys tune those things?
  • Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Yes, ladies, I'm smokin' hot. I'm the feline Billy Dee Williams.
  • That cat needs a nice cold Colt 45!
  • Damn!
  • That it a handsome cat. And I say that with a staunch record of humanosexuality.
  • MCT--I wouldn't give that cat ANY kind of weapon, let alone a firearm. That's the kind of cat that would eat a Colt 45 and piss Coors.* *Yes, I KNOW you meant bad malt, but I'm trying to make a bad joke here. ...........Oh NEVER MIND!!
  • This is such crap. ...oh, wait, for MEN? Oh, ok. Yeah, women seem to like ruggers. Weird. You’d think naked beer slides would be off putting, but apparently not so much. I must admit, I do mow a good lawn, which seems to count for foreplay here in the ‘burbs.
  • Smedley, are you being euphemistic?
  • That cat looks like Sean Connery—the rapist, not the actor.
  • I think I forgot a "the" in the sentence above.
  • I do mow a good lawn, which seems to count for foreplay here in the ‘burbs. Try cooking dinner and cleaning up after. She'll let you do things that'll haunt you both for years.
  • > She'll let you do things that'll haunt you both for years. sounds like impregnation.
  • Try ironing clothes. I don't know how to iron, and Mr. meredithea does, and watching him iron a shirt or a pair of pants for me is teh hawt.
  • sounds like impregnation and it's roryk for the gold!! I can't/won't/don't iron either (I work at home, I'm in my bathrobe right now) but mr. medusa does iron his work clothes sometimes. It's very cute.