August 25, 2006

Talk about shrinkage. They say "pollution". I say "frelling cold water". But while we're on the subject. More wacky news. And who could forget. /farkfilter
posted by Northern Exposed 17 years ago
  • Good god, that fourth article is fucking horrific. Jesus Biscuit, that sucked double fun out of this thread. Men are complete assholes.
  • Since then, she has not stopped mentioning Barney’s p***s. This has shaken the bedrock of our family. I made an emergency call to our church’s pastor about this bombshell in my daughter’s life and he is unsure how it will affect her future. It will kill her. I assure you that she will die. In fact, whenever I say the word "penis" around my 11-year-old son, he dies of laughter.
  • I couldn’t see it, so she guided my eyes to the vulgar obscenity arranged there on the sign. "Vulgar obscenity"? It's a perfectly acceptable word. Probably the most acceptable one. I made an emergency call to our church’s pastor about this bombshell in my daughter’s life and he is unsure how it will affect her future. My guess, probably not as much as having a parent with serious sexual-repression issues.
  • Polar bears are teh squee.
  • Pumps on a plane, not. Poor guy...
  • Every one of these incidents is the culmination of like six to eight times our normal bad-decision-making capacity for a single day. I mean, I feel for that last guy, but let's put ourselves in his shoes for a moment: I am an Iraqi or of Iraqi descent. I am preparing to get on an airplane. In America. I am travelling with (of all people) my mother. So what do I do? I make sure to pack my penis pump. In my backpack. which I decide to carry on. which I refer to when questioned as a "bomb." This is, I'd think, the sort of bad decision making that would rightfully earn you anound three to five years of probation.
  • I mean, ok, being an Iraqi can't be all that fun just lately, and travelling with Mom is always gonna be a trial, you're going to need a little "me" time, fine, bring the pump. But: CARRY ON??? What are you going to do, join the mile high club with YOURSELF?? Check it, dude!
  • Um... couldn't the security person just LOOK at it and see it's a pump and not a bomb? I mean, aren't they supposed to be trained in differentiating bombs from not-bombs?
  • what the hell is a p***s? do i have one?
  • This has shaken the bedrock of our family. That's some good, firm bedrock there.
  • The scientists say reducing polar bear penis size would make sex less successful, upsetting naturally slow-to-grow polar bear numbers. Not to mention upsetting Mrs. Bear.
  • I mean, because she wanted to have a big family.
  • because size doesn't matter...right?
  • >>because size doesn't matter...right? That's what I hear. I mean, that's not what *I*, like myself personally, hear, you understand. I meant, like, anecdotally and stuff. You know.
  • "Hmmm, I never saw the North Pole point south before..."
  • I didn't read the articles because i'm too frightened.
  • MonkeyFilter: size doesn't matter...right?
  • Conclusion: It matters to guys. Don't think women give a h00t about this. At least the ones I know, on the rare occsions when delicate inquiry is made, eventually burst out laughing, tell rude jokes, and fling uncouth remarks about male insecurity while staring pointedly in my direction. Makes a fellow grateful to hide behind his whiskers as he flees the room.
  • I prefer to hide behind my enormous penis.
  • That penis pump judge? Lived in my hometown. His wife was my fifth grade teacher. :(
  • Monkeyfilter: I didn't read the articles because i'm too frightened
  • Men are complete assholes. Oh yes we are. I think I'll pop off to bed right now, and beat the living crap out of Mrs Skrik. Then I'll go downstairs and smack the kids around, one by one. Then I might torch the parents-in-law's place, before passing out from excessive intake of alcohol on the way home.
  • On the other hand, where's my beer?
  • That Judge guy? Jizz, what a dick. I wonder if this is grounds for a retrial of every case he's presided over.
  • Fes, he said 'its a pump,' according to the article, which also says: O'Neill-Burke added that Amin, an Iraqi, has a thick accent and she herself had trouble understanding him until he brought the pump to her office and showed it to her. She said she recently learned that Arabic speakers sometimes have trouble distinguishing the sounds "p" and "b." (That part is true, at least in my limited experience.)
  • MonkeyFilter: On the other hand, where's my beer?
  • They cut the deck chair in half? Couldn't they just pour some cold water over his stuff instead of wasting good furniture?