March 02, 2004

• Oh my gosh -- someone who understands me! I shall forward this article to everyone I know. Thank you.
• I read this via MeFi. Spot-on, I would say.
• Oh my gosh -- someone who understands me! I shall forward this article to everyone I know. Thank you.
• Uh, sorry, I must have hit "refresh" by accident. Gyan - agreed. It's amazing how exactly the author describes it. Usually when a group's behavior is described, individuals tend to vary, but not so in my case.
• "Introverts are driven to distraction by the semi-internal dialogue extroverts tend to conduct. Introverts don't outwardly complain, instead roll their eyes and silently curse the darkness." That is extremely accurate. "silently curse the Darkness" ...many actors, I've read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors... That would be true also. It's often hard to explain to people that, yes, I'm playing a role when socialising, and no, there's nothing dishonest about that, nor is it particularly awkward or indeed unpleasant. In fact I love it, and would like to take this opportunity to state that I am ready for my close up.
• "...introverts are people who find other people tiring" In the sense that other people can be stressers [stressors?], yes. But other people can be fun, too, so like the moth to the flame, one turns and returns to them. That extroversion is taken to be a behavioural 'norm' is so typical of the US I'm not sure it's worth mentioning. But there are cultures where it is not, such as Japan. I have compassion for introverted adolescents in the US who now have not just the stresses of adolescence but intrusive post-Columbine security-conscious (repressive) measures on the part of school authorities to deal with. But then, I don't believe Americans really like their children.
• I have compassion for introverted adolescents in the US who now have not just the stresses of adolescence but intrusive post-Columbine security-conscious (repressive) measures on the part of school authorities to deal with. But then, I don't believe Americans really like their children. Hear hear. I'd be miserable as an adolescent now (that is, *more* miserable than I was). I don't think it's so much that Americans don't like their children, but that they're maniacally obsessed with them. There's another thing extroverts do -- talk endlessly about their damn kids as if anyone cares.
• Whoops, time to add a qualifier to my young-white-male-straight guilt.
• Blaise is an oppressor! Get him!
• Ditto on passing this out to all my friends and family. Definately spot-on. I'd guess it's safe to say that 'we' won't be showing up at any Mofi get-togethors unless absolutely pushed. The only aside I can make about this is that if I am surrounded by Cancers, Aquarius', Libra's then I am generally in my comfort zone as far as people. Being Pisces, I have a tendency to respond positively to these particular signed people. I speak generally, of course. I know many of you will scoff, but I find that astrology can be a useful tool used properly (and lightly). Is this a good time for a Curious, George; what's your sign? Sorry for going off track here, Koko! I'm in gab mode right now.
• i haven't seen this article before. thank you for posting it.
• I think all these personality types do more pigeonholing than good. Sure, you might be introverted. But why should I, who am balanced on the I/E scale, need to change my behavior to make you more happy? The problem with the Meyers-Briggs/Kiersey tests is that they neglect to mention a simple fact: if you're too far over on any of the scales, in any direction, you're dysfunctional in some way in day-to-day operations. The key in this - as with most things - is balance. If you are a consummate introvert, try to see the other perspective more often. If you're always extroverted, take some more time for yourself. People who are too far over to any side of those scales have trouble relating to the people on the other side, and that is damaging to personal and professional relationships. I also believe that these characteristics are changable - they're descriptive, not prescriptive. You can't get away with being flighty by saying "I'm an ENFP," and you can't get away with being aloof by saying "I'm an ISTP." It doesn't work that way. If people perceive you as flighty or aloof - MAYBE YOU ARE. If introverts expect people to care for them and help them in these ways, perhaps they should exercise a little more care for those around them. Understanding is a two-way street.
• >>"...introverts are people who find other people tiring" which must be why so many loners turn out to be... SERIAL KILLERS!!!
• bizarro. i just posted a comment and it is now FIRST instead of LAST. hmm.
• musing: I think the key is just to understand that people are different. I don't think an extrovert has to actually modify his or her behavior in order to deal with me any more than I think I need to modify my behavior to deal with him or her. The point is really just to expect that not everyone is going to act the same way you do. :) My coworkers don't necessarily need to understand that I eat lunch at my desk every single day just because that's my lone, web-surfing, e-mailing time, but there's no reason for them to believe that I do so because I think I'm too good to eat in the lunch room. That idea is based on nothing. Funny about the word "aloof" -- dictionary.com says "Distant physically or emotionally; reserved and remote." Well, yeah! I am indeed that. But people tend to use it as a synonym for "stuck up", which I am not. I am not distant because I think I am better than anyone; I am distant because I don't talk much. :) And yeah, what's up with the New Monkey Posting Order?
• Hmm. I think I personally have become more introverted over the years as my estimate of the probability of any given conversation being rewarding has gradually diminished with experience. But I still feel that's rather sad, and that the main problem is not extroverts so much as tedious stupid jerks. Pleasant, intelligent, sensitive, original extroverts are fine by me. Alright, then, would be fine by me.
• Personally, I view introverts as bad lovers and bad romantic partners - because often, their introversion becomes an excuse for poor manners and lack of caring about those who are supposed to be closest to them - and for sexual selfishness that borders on unbelievable.
• musingmelpomene, mumbojumbo, I say! I STRONGLY disagree with your opinion. I know for a fact, that in my personal case that could not be farther from the truth. I imagine that it's not the case for most. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that possibly your opinion stems from truly bad choices/taste in lovers/partners. Maybe you mistook egomaniacal, self-absorption for introversion.
• Is this a joke? "Are introverts arrogant? Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts."
• musingmelpomene: I suspect that's not true for most of us introverts. We have great imaginations, which feed on action rather than talk. You need to give us a little time for the creative stuff to make it through the fog, however. Not only that, but we need to get to know you a little better before we amaze you. Or, maybe you met a few Is who just need a little education to find their full potential. Patience is a virtue.
• Not wishing to pile on, musingmelpomene, but I do think that you may have confused introverts for either a) autists, or b) bastards. In both your comments, you seem to make the assumption that what introverts are thinking about when they're not socialising is, without exception, themselves. And it's that kind of misunderstanding that the article's trying to break through - society's standards are those of the extrovert. Obviously balance is best, but it's just not possible for everybody to be balanced in that way. The problem is that intros (not extreme, dysfunctional ones - just yer common or garden variety) get more flak and less understanding than equally unbalanced extros. exppii - yes, a joke, I think.
• Personally, I view introverts as bad lovers and bad romantic partners That describes me, at least. I don't think its my introversion though, more my dullness and apathy. (On a vaguely related note, I really dislike Myers-Briggs type tests. They are worse than lies, usually, because they have a sheen of science placed on top of them, and yet reveal next to nothing)
• I think that perhaps what musingmelpomene is getting at is that we shouldn't be talking about either introvertedness or extrovertedness being superior - what's one person's quietly sedate may be that person's partner's you won't tell me how you're feeling. That was the annoying part of the article - the slightly smug assumption that the introvert understands the extrovert. In my experience, they are just as trapped by their own experiences as he claims extroverts are. What he also doesn't understand is that just because the extrovert thrives on company, it doesn't mean that they are "as inscrutable as puppy dogs." Waters run at different depths irregardless of one's levels of intro or extrovertness. I've known introverts who, though quiet, were very open - the image I have always had was not like the author's condescending "puppy", but a sense of pale glass, glowing gently from the inside. But I have also known people who were decidedly extroverted who nonetheless held their private selves quite close, as if swathed under dark velvet. Perhaps that image seems to judgemental - I don't mean it that way. I mean only to emphasise the sense of very social, but also very private.
• pale glass, glowing gently from the inside. Nice analogy, jb.
• I can be both or either. That is, busy busy musician used to showing off in front of loads of people who chose to spend five years in his bedroom writing a PhD. So, er, feh.