August 06, 2006

Houses overgrown with kudzu. Kudzu is native to southern Japan, introduced to the US in 1876 and now a dreaded weed that grows up to a foot a day in the southern summer, the perfect climate. It's often referred to as "The vine that ate the South". Southerners, the best solution to your kudzu-related problems may be...goats!

For beeswacky, a James Dickey poem:

Japan invades. Far Eastern vines Run from the clay banks they are Supposed to keep from eroding. Up telephone poles, Which rear, half out of leafage As though they would shriek, Like things smothered by their own Green, mindless, unkillable ghosts. In Georgia, the legend says That you must close your windows At night to keep it out of the house. The glass is tinged with green, even so, As the tendrils crawl over the fields. The night the kudzu has Your pasture, you sleep like the dead. Silence has grown Oriental And you cannot step upon ground: Your leg plunges somewhere It should not, it never should be, Disappears, and waits to be struck Anywhere between sole and kneecap: For when the kudzu comes, The snakes do, and weave themselves Among its lengthening vines, Their spade heads resting on leaves, Growing also, in earthly power And the huge circumstance of concealment. One by one the cows stumble in, Drooling a hot green froth, And die, seeing the wood of their stalls Strain to break into leaf. In your closed house, with the vine Tapping your window like lightning, You remember what tactics to use. In the wrong yellow fog-light of dawn You herd them in, the hogs, Head down in their hairy fat, The meaty troops, to the pasture. The leaves of the kudzu quake With the serpents' fear, inside The meadow ringed with men Holding sticks, on the country roads. The hogs disappear in the leaves. The sound is intense, subhuman, Nearly human with purposive rage. There is no terror Sound from the snakes. No one can see the desperate, futile Striking under the leaf heads. Now and then, the flash of a long Living vine, a cold belly, Leaps up, torn apart, then falls Under the tussling surface. You have won, and wait for frost, When, at the merest touch Of cold, the kudzu turns Black, withers inward and dies, Leaving a mass of brown strings Like the wires of a gigantic switchboard. You open your windows, With the lightning restored to the sky And no leaves rising to bury You alive inside your frail house, And you think, in the opened cold, Of the surface of things and its terrors, And of the mistaken, mortal Arrogance of the snakes As the vines, growing insanely, sent Great powers into their bodies And the freedom to strike without warning: From them, though they killed Your cattle, such energy also flowed To you from the knee-high meadow (It was as though you had A green sword twined among The veins of your growing right arm-- Such strength as you would not believe If you stood alone in a proper Shaved field among your safe cows--): Came in through your closed Leafy windows and almighty sleep And prospered, till rooted out.
posted by tracicle 18 years ago
  • This is an edible plant. Get out the knives and forks you people!
  • Baaaahhh! Goats to the rescue!
  • Gardening tips from down south - How to Grow Kudzu Choosing a Plot Kudzu can be grown almost anywhere, so site selection is not the problem it is with some other finicky plants like strawberries. Although kudzu will grow quite well on cement, for best result you should select an area having at least some dirt. To avoid possible lawsuits, it is advisable to plant well away from your neighbors house, unless, of course, you don't get along well with your neighbor anyway. Preparing the Soil Go out and stomp on the soil for a while just to get its attention and to prepare it for kudzu. Deciding When to Plant Kudzu should always be planted at night. If kudzu is planted during daylight hours, angry neighbors might see you and begin throwing rocks at you. Selecting the Proper Fertilizer The best fertilizer discovered for kudzu is 40 weight non-detergent motor oil. Kudzu actually doesn't need anything to help it grow, but the motor oil helps to prevent scraping the underside of the tender leaves when the kudzu starts its rapid growth. It also cuts down on the friction and lessens the danger of fire when the kudzu really starts to move. Change oil once every thousand feet or every two weeks which ever comes first. Mulching the Plants Contrary to what may be told by the Extension Service, kudzu can profit from a good mulch. A heavy mulch for the young plants produces a hardier crop. For best results, as soon as the young shoots begin to appear, cover kudzu with concrete blocks. Although this causes a temporary setback, your kudzu will accept this mulch as a challenge and will reward you with redoubled determination in the long run. Organic or Chemical Gardening Kudzu is ideal for either the organic gardener or for those who prefer to use chemicals to ward off garden pests. Kudzu is oblivious to both chemicals and pests. Therefore, you can grow organically and let the pests get out of the way of the kudzu as best they can, or you can spray any commercial poison directly on your crop. Your decision depends on how much you enjoy killing bugs. The kudzu will not mind either way. Crop Rotation Many gardeners are understandably concerned that growing the same crop year after year will deplete the soil. If you desire to change from kudzu to some other plant next year, now is the time to begin preparations. Right now, before the growing season has reached its peak, you should list your house and lot with a reputable real estate agent and begin making plans to move elsewhere. Your chances of selling will be better now than they will be later in the year, when it may be difficult for a prospective buyer to realize that underneath those lush green vines stands an adorable three-bedroom house.
  • Oooo! Yesss, precioussss! Let's all sssing like a Dickey bird: sssquee, sssquee, sssquee! /not really me talking, it's the Talish cur
  • Kudzu recipes.
  • Tracicle, I've got shivers down my spine! Sounds like Robert Frost's evil twin. I work with a Georgia native who has fond childhood memories of creamed kudzu with Sunday dinner.
  • Kudzu seeds --in case it becomes an endangered species.
  • I think the kudzu baskets are lovely.
  • Gah! Holy crap!