August 04, 2006

Goose Clothes Everyday Outfits, Halloween Outfits, or even Patriotic Outfits

What are you waiting for, ducks?

posted by Skrik 17 years ago
  • "Dressing the goose" used to have an entirely different meaning.
  • Where are the live models?
  • Live models? You ever been up close to a goose? Them fuckers'll beak you if you piss 'em off. Dressing a goose would be even more painful than trying to shave a cat. You'd need a transfusion and a fresh set of genitals.
  • Monkeyfilter: Them fuckers'll beak you if you piss 'em off.
  • I've seen pink flamingos, gnomes, butterflies, mirrored garden balls and even (shudder) lawn jockeys, but never a goose. Is this some sort of mid-west thing that I've somehow avoided?
  • Goose camo, eh? Might be a niche market.
  • Geese will even gang up on you.
  • It seems the lawn goose thing hasn't made it north of the 49' parallel or into Southern Ontario. Something to, um, look forward to I guess. Geese and especially Canada Geese are sure ornery but they've got a fairly well defined territory and it you're watching they do give warning before they go apeshit. This can be quite fun: step forward and they hiss, step back and they ignore you.
  • I have a very tasteful negro lawn boy in my front yard, with just the most darling facial expression. I enjoy dressing him for all of the major holidays. Did I mention he is holding a lantern?
  • At first I thought that said "daring facial expression." Like he was sticking his little tongue out or something.
  • I was giggling at the silly Midwesterners, with their evident need to put clothing on inanimate objects. Then I remembered that I knit a sweater for a tree, once and I sobered right up. What IS it about putting clothing on inanimate objects? Is it some kind of biological imperative? Did our cavepeople ancestors pass the time by making little deerskin cloaks for the neighborhood ginkgos?
  • Now, don't go calling a tree an inanimate object mechagrue! To me what makes your sweater so great is that the tree is sad and bedraggled yet still somehow alive. Who in that state wouldn't appreciate a sweater, especially in damp and rainy Seattle?
  • Geese... alive and breathing are about useless...they chase small children (OK, so I told my then 5 year old son to go grab that little goose, I didn't stop laughing for a week!), they poop on your lawn, they will eat your small dog if possible. Cement Geese dressed in clothes are a clear sign of mental illness on the part of the property owner and should be cause for placement in a secure facility. Why are we talking about this???? Do one of you have a goose with clothes on...do you think you can sucker us into becoming some sort of monkey based support group for you to utilize in attempting to find the true light of the lord and to shake the habit of making small, misshapen clothing items for a piece of man made rock that resembles an obnoxious bird? Send them back to Canada, send the clothes makers too, teach them French and send them to Montreal... Ok..i'm done now!
  • Why are we talking about this, Huronbob? For the taglines, of course: MonkeyFilter: they've got a fairly well defined territory and it you're watching they do give warning before they go apeshi
  • t sigh
  • That tree sweater is teh adorable!
  • So is Western New York the geographical home of those bent-over lady in brightly-colored bloomers lawn ornaments then? Or are they everywhere?
  • Then I remembered that I knit a sweater for a tree, once Self link! Seeeeeellllfffff link!!!!!!!!! Get the stones! Get the tar! Get the KY! Let the punningishment begat!
  • Oh shut up Berek, for fuck's sake!
  • I seem to remember that there's a thread specifically for self links, so shut the fuck up yourself islander!
  • However, when self-linking is apropos of the topic, there's no reason to not allow it in a thread. We just don't like self-linkin FPPs, Berek.
  • Time OUT!! Enough already. Soooooo, punningishment, eh? Let me be the first to start... Mechagrue, if you work really, really hard knitting these outfits, and you perspire a lot, does that make you a tree sweater?
  • And, as the shit hits the fan in monkeyland, I want to say a polite goodnight to you all.
  • However, when self-linking is apropos of the topic, there's no reason to not allow it in a thread. We just don't like self-linkin FPPs, Berek. Fair enough. And thanks, BlueHorse.
  • Are lawn geese in nay way connected to the legend of the geese that saved Rome? Some kind of household protection totem?
  • Maybe they keep the garden gnomes away.
  • Are they then gnomes away from gnome? MORE PUNNINGISHMENT!
  • "course I gnome. He's my brother.
  • I dressed my lawn ornament bird in leather chaps, a rainbow T-shirt, platform shoes, and a cowboy hat with a big pink feather. He's a flaming-go
  • Across the street from a house I owned years ago was this woman who had in her fron yard various and sundry lawn abominations, including gnomes, flamingos, a big plastic Jesus that lit up, and the pièce de résistance: a gutted VW bug with some kind of kudzu-like vine growing in all directions out of the windows and windshield. This woman was terribly proud of her yard, as she spent at least an hour every morning diligently watering her lawn circus with a garden hose.
  • I've always had a soft spot in my heart for the Virgin-Mary-in-a-bathtub shrines.
  • I'm with T.U.M. in that I sort of like the virgins of the tub. What I'd really like would be for one of them to be the site of a miracle. A Weeping-Virgin-of-the-Tub attracting pilgrims would be simply grand.
  • Oh, wot is so rare as a goose in August? Then, as ever, flock pecking geese clad in bonnets, aprons, and granny gowns they chases anyone who flees despite being cement below their knees.
  • I quite love the little tree sweater. Inspired, I say!
  • So, I guess if you put a sweater on a bare cold tree in the middle of winter the tree gets some releaf?
  • /falls over
  • I'll goose anyone who asks for it until the 31st.
  • > I knit a sweater for a tree nice one!
  • Tree sweater? me only need one sweater!
  • HOOONK!
  • I knit a sweater for a Tree-- The Birch upon the Hill-- A bark of Wool--a Snuggery-- To keep it from the Chill!
  • At least the tractor wasn't a Deere.