'Cause the tiiiiiiimes they har a-chaaahayngiiiin'
I think a good gift for the president would be a chocolate revolver, and since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up real quick and hand it to him.
-Jack Handy
In other words, some things are technically completely within your rights to do, but are still stupid.
Conform or be arrested, citizen!
In the middle of downtown Minneapolis Saturday night, police found seven people clustered on a street corner, some pale-faced and covered in fake blood and wearing tattered clothes.
I wouldn't have led with this sentence, as at first glance it doesn't sound THAT unusual for Minneapolis.
They were lucky they weren't mistaken for mimes.
Or Zombieapolis.
I once popped an inflated sandwich bag in a bank once.
The security guards didn't think it was as funny as I did.
Jerks.
I totally read that as "pooped in an flated sandwich"
Which I thought was funny.
Jerks.
You people don't need to know all of my dirty secrets.
Jerks.
I lived in minneapolis for a year.
The first night I got there some friends threw a party in my honor. It was a nice little martini party. One problem. We ran out of olives. There was a grocery store about a block away and I volunteered to go get the olives.
I was searching the aisles in the store for the olives but couldn't find them anywhere. I saw a stockboy refilling a shelf so I walked up to him.
"Hey. Where the olives". I asked him
His eyes got wide and he was stammering out an answer.
He looked like a deer in the headlights.
"Ooops" I thought to myself "I'm in Minnesota not Chicago. Time to switch tactics"
I knew what I had to do
"Let's start over" I said to him
"How ya doin?
"Oh fine, just fine" He said
(I could see the fog of fear lifting from his eyes)
"Ya know what I'm lookin fer?"
"No sir what's that?"
"I'm lookin fer some olives. Would ya know where dem are?"
"Ohhhh olives. Having a party are ya?
"Ya sure ya betcha we are"
"I love a good party"
"Me too. can't wait to get back"
"The olives are in aisle 4 right next to the lutefisk"
"Thank you very much"...........
"Enjoy yer party now"
"Thank you I will. Have a nice day now"
"Ya sure will!"
Welcome to Minnesota.
Land of the Polite
*wipes away tear*
*hugs Argh*
That's it! I'm moving.
memo to self: olives are in aisle 4
I once popped an inflated sandwich bag in a bank once.
The security guards didn't think it was as funny as I did.
Speaking as a former bank teller who's had a gun shoved in his face before, I'd be willing to bet that no one working there thought it was very funny.
Things like that are hilarious when you're 11.
It takes more messed-up stuff to get me to giggle nowadays.
Very funny Argh.
Just moving to Wisconsin from Tampa, I feel ya.
Then I asked myself WTF was a lutefisk?Scandanaviansareweird
"Every Advent we entered the purgatory of lutefisk, a repulsive gelatinous fishlike dish that tasted of soap and gave off an odor that would gag a goat. We did this in honor of Norwegian ancestors, much as if survivors of a famine might celebrate their deliverance by feasting on elm bark. I always felt the cold creeps as Advent approached, knowing that this dread delicacy would be put before me and I’d be told, "Just have a little." Eating a little was like vomiting a little, just as bad as a lot."
Link
A friend of mine once asked me to recommend a birthday present for his grandmother. I said, "What about some kind of kitchen gadget?" He said, "Unless Kitchenaid makes a lutefisk machine, there's nothing she'd want."
OK...about the dancing zombies... If you haven't seen the The Happiness of the Katakuris you have missed the very best zombie infested movie ever made (this being said by someone who was IN a zombie movie!)...
happy happy zombie dance, brought to you by 18 years ago
by HuronBob
Wish there was a picture or a better description of the "simulated weapons of mass destruction."
"Backpacks with protruding wires" doesn't really sound too scary.
UNless they were, like, marionette wires stretching up into the clouds above.
That's a great image, TUM.
And while cops are all busy arresting mimes and zombies and punks who question being questioned, I bet whoever slips a dirty bomb in a major city will be wearing a three-piece suit as not to attract any unwanted attention...
Who is gonna bomb a city full of mimes and zombies, that city is fuxored already.
I don't think people should have to show ID simply for being outlandishly dressed on a public street. What happened to probable cause? Oh no, the group dressed up as Zombies have WIRES!!! OMGWTFBBQ!
The police don't like people who look different and are digging up WMD excuses to justify their poor decision making skills. Its not a crime to have poor taste in makeup and clothing, or to be carrying wires. Or to have something in a bag the officer can't see.
I wouldn't show ID either until I saw a badge number and the cop explained why he had probable cause to be detaining me. If he can't produce evidence that I'm committing a crime, I'll enjoy the windfall from my 4th ammendment lawsuit.
OMGWTFBBQ = Oh My God What the Fuck Bar-B-Que?
Kids need to shave those dreads, so yesterday.
Is it just a Minnesota thing, or is this what passes for teenage summer fun these days? Whatever happened to bush parties or smoking dope & playing video games?
Yes.
Barbecue.
LOLZORSROFLMAO!!!!1111oneoneone
I just love it when cops know that what they're trying to pull off is so spurious that they can't even come up with a real charge and charge suspicion of ..... I mean, what the hell is supicion of obstruction? Either you've obstructed or interfered or you haven't!
Welcome to the police state.
When are we going to stop being zombies and kick that asshole Bush and his minions outta there?
I can't wait to be arrested on account of I was frowning, and it looked like I might be thinking of blowing something up.
Good to know- if America is ever attacked by Terrorist Zombies, Homeland Security has it under control!
(In defense of the police, however, the article says they were already on "high alert" for Attack Clowns. Sadly, I'm being serious.)
Hmmm simulated weapons of mass destruction? SOunds like them law enforcement officers needed humour injections?? Question is this what fear does - ultimate result - no humour??? CLass discuss!
Chaeck recent article for idiot water bomb game in London - wish i was there - they have been warned not to be on the tube tho! Sorry would take me an hour to link and sure someone can do it faster!
Typhoid avuncular! Text urbanus elliptic comedia, for sub-train algonquin humidor!
Pasquale, a tabletop for our felicitous cherry pie! Currare, vos Savant il Diamante. Preturnatural dos Pope con vivant!
on the shrooms again pete?
Alert level doesn't matter; if these guys were dressed up as clowns it still wouldn't give the cops the right detain them unless they had evidence that they were THE clowns.
whalelutefisk!