July 23, 2006

This dude needs a new name. His current name, Aaron Landau Schwartz, won't do. We monkeys have named dessert restaurants, sports bars, birds, bands, babies (real and imaginary) and more: surely we can release a 32-year old "pretentious, self righteous, super attractive millionaire" from dorky-name hell? Humour columnist Gene Weingarten's already got us started. Oh, and there's a $25,000 prize at stake.
posted by Pallas Athena 17 years ago
  • I skimmed through the site. I did not see the part where he explains why he has $25,000.00 to part with on something like this. Did I miss something?
  • I think "Aaron Landau Schwartz" is a pretty cool name to begin with. "Marlon Brando Schwenk?"
  • Wingnut, he says: I currently own the world's largest and most controversial humor t-shirt company. Hmmm, TUM... movie star appeal and Gilbertian refinement. I like. But will he? And more importantly, will he put it on a T-shirt?
  • MAX POWER.
  • He owns T-shirt Hell.
  • Thorfinn Ravenfeeder
  • Pumplecocker Zinfleggle Zambora.
  • Shiloh Nouvel Schwartz.
  • Jesus those are some skanky tshirts ... anyway, he should change his name to Golden Palace Casino. Everyone wins.
  • Alabaster Lancashire Subwoofer
  • Arabella Latimer Sudoku
  • Aramaic Lucifer Saddlebag
  • Absinthe Leadbelly Steinway
  • Jesus those are some skanky tshirts I dunno... I think some of the comments accompanying the t-shirts are pretty funny. Then again, I'm a tasteless asshole, so your milage may vary.
  • Aragorn McCaine.
  • Pegasus Milosevic.
  • Jiminy Ozymandias.
  • Mrs. Davinia Winterton
  • Athanasius Sullivan
  • You guys took all the good ones! Cyril Smedley-Smythe Ballington
  • Also, what will we do with the $25,000?
  • Buy T-shirts?
  • buy a pony?
  • of course, then we'd have to find a name for the pony too.
  • Dr. Eduardo McDobbin, MRCP
  • Perhaps we should go the Kabalarians route? * Although the name Nunia creates the urge to be both logical and technical, we emphasize that it causes a restless intensity that defies relaxation. * This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the elimination system, and solar plexus. * Your first name of Nunia has made you desire system and order and to progress step by step, yet you are taken into new experiences, turmoil, and change and rarely can you fully complete an undertaking to your satisfaction. * You are extremely analytical and sometimes critical of both others and of yourself, and must guard against sarcastic speech and temper. Well, I guess the reason I can't relax is because I can't poop. Good to know.
  • God, Jr. Adolf Satan Slobodan McJudas Baudelaire Abner Crabbe John Jacob Jingleheimer Death Dave Chappelle Ax
  • Thurston Hotcock McJobberpants
  • So, I actually submitted my suggestion: Stede Morgan Teach If I win, I'll tell you all what I do with the money, because that's how I share.
  • Hitler.
  • This is a failed thread. Under Monkeyfilter constitution, chapter nine and a half, section .26, subsection K, paragraph 66.1, line B it clearly states that a thread is a failure if, within 6.2 comments, no has issued an LBB.
  • Sir Dingly Dang. Slaptyback Fistulbuns, Dingleback Fontlywon, Jerry Dorsey, Bemblebert Himbldirk, Englebert Humperdinck, Slutbamwala...
  • Warlock O'Bathtubson.
  • Agammemnon Wrinkly Smythe
  • [MR]Chip, I have a friend who named her two terrapins Yingibert and Slutbunwallah. Good times! Nunia, here's hoping you win! Of course, then you might have to buy us a pony... I always thought I'd name my first son Ouagadougou, after the capital of Burkina Faso. (Doug for short.) But this guy can have the name if he wants. Ouagadougou ...Smith. How about that?
  • Grunzool Q. Horchsproule-Smythe
  • (There's a computer around here named exactly that, so he could ping his own name if he liked. Come to think of it, there's one nearby that's called Cruntley Brontlesworth, but that machine lives over in Frollby Grolls, so we're safe. For now.)
  • As an alternative, please consider Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis Jones, but not if he ever became famous, because then he'd have to diligently scrawl that over and over on books or CDs. Such is the frivolus life.
  • William "Buck" Nekkid Spanky Fenstermeyer Zool Remington Steele Home Slice
  • Fuck U Dipshits.
  • oh sorry wrong thread.
  • Ersatz Q. Anonymous.
  • Crabby Crabster McCrabpants
  • Maynard Reginald Thudpucker
  • Horace Buggrey
  • Elrond Ablution Skidoodle
  • Throckmorton Puddypants Kissylips
  • RTD wins for bringing the thread to its logical and inevitable conclusion.
  • ...like the hand (hoof?) of Fate.