July 13, 2006

• Well, an Asp is what bit Cleopatra on the arse, that much I do know, & I suppose she kept it in some kind of container, maybe a net. The Egyptians were weird, so maybe they kept Asps in a net. Who knows? It was probably a gold net.
• NO! It bit her boob! I think she was weaving a net from asps.
• These guys have pretty good tutorials and references, although I haven't gone through the ASP stuff.
• There's gotta be a decent "learn ASP.NET in one week" book out there. Or try a Visual Basic book, as I understand that there's a fair bit of Visual Basic in the ASP.NET framework.
• Yo, it was totally her boob!
• 'I was a really gold good net' Sorry for the thread-jack in this your time of need, HC, but... what did you expect out of a bunch of monkeys?
• Well, I think I am partially to blame for my thread-jack. So, after combing through what reading material I have on hand for the last several hours, it looks like I need to learn some sort of scripting language before I can get into ASP.NET. I think chimaera's suggestion of Visual Basic is the one my office expects. I suppose I should start there. I found a series of VB intro tutorials on Microsoft's website. So you guys think I am on the right track? I get the impression that I can use several different scripting languages with ASP.NET. Am I right? What if I used Javascript? Am I talking out of my Asp?
• You can easily find lots of online tutorials and books on ASP.NET for beginning programmers. W3schools is a good resource, but their info is dated, in my experience -- however, for just an intro to the language, they'd probably be good. Also, be aware that there are big differences between ASP and ASP.NET. You should be able to use whatever scripting language you want client-side. ASP.NET shouldn't care, but then there are lots of things MS development and db products should do and don't, or vice versa. I don't begin to pretend to know the ins and outs of .NET stuff. I'm mostly a Java and RPG programmer. Google searches like this and this will be a good start, as will w3schools, and there isn't a language in the world that doesn't have a Dummies book (they are good, from what little I've seen, and I guaran-damn-tee you they've got one for every .NET-supported language) or other for-the-beginning-code-monkey guide. Just hit the computer section at Barnes and Noble. They'll have a ton. Personally, I'd steer you toward something Java- or Ruby- or Perl- or PHP-based, because you can usually find good *free* tools to develop on, but if the boss wants .NET, then .NET it shall be.
• "I think I am partially to blame for my thread-jack." No, no, of course not. You are fully to blame. I google the phrase "asp.net tutorial" and get 7,640,000 hits, the first three of which are titled ASP.NET Tutorial, ASP.NET QuickStart Tutorials, ASP.NET Web: The Official Microsoft ASP.NET 2.0 Site.. and many others. This, in short, is a despicably lazy "WAMS" post, for which you should be thoroughly flogged. If I were an evil person, I would have concocted a vast and utterly wrong introduction to Asp.net, thereby guaranteeing your ignomious defeat, humiliation & sacking from the job you obviously lied to get. In actual fact, I *am* an evil person, but quite honestly I couldn't be bothered, & this place is far too sickeningly full of altruistic types who would actually have attempted to put you back on the right track, possibly as an attempt to thwart me, so I said to hell with it. Now send me money.
• YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE MISANTHROPIC SIDE!!!!! /spittle
• If you strike me down, Chyren, I shall become drunker than you can possibly imagine. This isn't the pr0n you're looking for. Hotcakes can go about her business. Move along.
• Hmmph. Evil gets his way, I got this.
• Your right. Google searches are incredibly helpful and, when you get hits that match your search criteria, they always, without fail, answer the question you have. I am so stupid! But, no worries, I turned in my notice today as it has come to my attention that I lied to get the job. I sure hope google has some info on employment.
• Tags: why people don't post, why we can't retain members, affrontery, threadjacking, boobs, words that almost rhyme with "ass", wams, evil.
• I also hope that google has some info on your vs you're... ;-)
• "Your right. Google searches are incredibly helpful and, when you get hits that match your search criteria, they always, without fail, answer the question you have." You are a Google spy sent to talk up Google! Preaching to the choir Googlespawn! Honestly though his quote was creepily commercial like.
• If Hitler was still around he'd love asp.net. and it wasn't her boob or her ass, it was her arm.
• But, no worries, I turned in my notice today as it has come to my attention that I lied to get the job /mind boggles As the alcoholics say, fake it 'til you make it.
• Why do they want it in ASP? You need to find that out first. If they have no idea, other than "all the other websites use it" then you should code it in the language that you are most comfortable with, not something you don't know about. With only basic programming skills, you could: * introduce security holes that hackers know about. * get paged frequently when the site goes down for odd reasons. * dig a really deep hole that is very complex in it's solution. I'm not doubting your skill or learning ability. I just know that there is so mcuh nuance to web programming that maybe you should find out why ASP is what someone asked for.
• ...that I lied to get the job. Honestly, I don't think you should have quit over that. I think you should have spent a weekend cramming to learn all you can about that god awful crap that is *.NET. I am certain that is how 99.999999995% of .NET developers learn it. They get the job and then learn what it is. Actually, I suppose you could say that of most developpers. That might be why so many coding/sustaining jobs get offshored, I suppose.
• Get a copy of ASP.NET In A Nutshell from O'Reilly. It takes you through the basics (using both C# and VB.NET), and also has a fairly comprehensive class reference. Get yourself familiar with the System.* classes, and the rest will just fall into place. There's nothing to learn that a little bit of practice won't teach you.
• I WAS KIDDING AROUND
• I am going to come out of my shell here a bit and state that I am an ASP.NET expert. You can work in C# or VB.NET. I would suggest the former if at all possible. ASP.NET requires writing code for almost any task you would want to complete. You will want to work in with the 2.0/2005 versions of the technologies - they are much improved over the 1.1/2003 versions. Microsoft make a free, simple version of the ASP.NET development environment if that is an issue. I think it is just VB.NET though. Compared to classic ASP, ASP.NET is a huge improvement. It's fast, you almost completely seperate code from HTML and it has a lot of useful controls out of the box. I have worked in some other environments for web development and this is pretty good, IMHO.
• BallPoint is right, though. Be careful! Are you lost crataegus? Here you go.
• No, pikestrider, I just support developpers.
• With too little caffeine in my system. -p
• Part of my problem was I was expecting to get on notepad and type away, save it as the correct file type, and bingo. After much research trying to hunt down this method, I am coming to the realization that this is NOT the way to do this. ASP.NET with Visual Basic is the method my office decided on before they hired me, well aware I had no programming experience. I was hired for my CSS and my publications work. I have been grouped with analyst/programmers so I am playing catch up. I also can't go to the bookstore as the closest one with a decent computer section is a plane ride away. Most books can be found through interlibrary loan but that takes a while. I was able to get a copy of Visual Studio installed on my machine and I am working through the available tutorials. I am also following some of the links from the Wikipedia entry on Visual Basic. I have acquired a copy of the text from a Microsoft course on developing ASP.NET web applications using Visual Studio.NET and I have borrowed O'Reilly's ASP in a Nutshell. I think I might have found my footing.
• I understand that there's a fair bit of Visual Basic in the ASP.NET framework. If anyone said this to me in any way connected with something I was expected to do, snakes and vermin would fly from my mouth in a torrential explosion of retch and vileness as the firmament quaked below me and passerby vaporized under the incredible stress and low-frequency vibrations I would be generating. good GOD Mockro$quash sucks big league ass. Nicely jedi'd there MCT
• Microsoft is the reason why Bill Gates is curing AIDS in Africa, you fucking hippie. I hope you choke on Comrade Jobs' semen at your next Apple-using young communist gay love marathon.
• Oh be nice!
• Wait a second I forgot "racist". Pretend I also called you a dirty Belgian or something. Thanks.
• Give me IP address! I hack you!
• * cleaning petebest's snakes, vermin, retch, vileness and vaporized passerby-ers *