July 08, 2006

Curious George: How on earth does YouTube make money?

By popular demand.

posted by Nickdanger 18 years ago
  • The short answer: they don't. And if previous history is any guide, they never will. Of course, if I were to speculate, making money is not the point of YouTube -- consider that their business model is probably not unlike those of weird bleeding-edge biotech firms. They'll never make a dime, and the VCs know it. But the execs have equity, and so do the VCs, so when Google, or Yahoo, or Microsoft, or [corporation X with the deep pockets] decides that owning the "YouTube" brand will be worth the expenditure (that is, there's enough traffic to make their new ad placements worth it) the brand will be quite happily acquired in exchange for a fair chunk of cash (to make the VCs happy) and [Corporation X] stock (to make the YouTube execs happy).
  • Oh, and then you can say good bye to copyright infringing material, and hello to "pre-load" commercials, popups, banners out the yin-yang, and maybe a happy little "YouTube To Go!" client for the desktop riddled with its own banners, pre-load commercials, and spyware.
  • The lose it on each viewing, but they make up for it in volume.
  • How on earth does YouTube make money? Subliminal messages.
  • How on earth does YouTube make money? The hookers available with the premium You "Tube" membership.
  • They don't. They literally burn a million dollars a month just paying for the bandwidth (there was an article in Forbes about this very topic several months ago.) They will either go bankrupt, get bought out, or drench the site in ads. There is zero chance that the site will continue as it is now indefinitely.
  • How on earth does YouTube make money? They make money from Telcos by filling up the Internets' tubes so that emails get stopped up. This will overturn net neutrality and the Telcos will prosper.
  • How on earth does YouTube make money? You don't. You get down off a duck.
  • How on earth does YouTube make money? This is your god.
  • How on earth does YouTube make money? Color Xerox Machine.
  • How on earth does YouTube make money? Thongs.
  • Way to kill a thread.
  • Goodwill.
  • I feel a certain sense of attainment in spawning a new thread from the ashes of a dying thread only to have it killed yet again. Have you people only the attention span of...of...monkeys? seriously, could we not stay on topic for at least a day?
  • All Yahoo has to do is wait for youtube to go out of business, then pick up the domain name for a song.
  • How does Craigslist make money? Serious question. I know they charge for one or two categories in one or two cities - is that it?
  • I always thought Craig gets his pick of the personals. "Hey 26 YO SWF, I just accepted your ad, and say, I just finished some site changes; give me your address and I'll zip by and spoon some marzipan all over those sweet buns of yours. -Craig"
  • I thought we were brainstorming and the first rule of brainstorming is to not be judgmental and you monkeys were completely judgmental and I hate you monkeys for being judgmental.
  • Brainstorming Rules 1. No criticism, evaluation, judgment, or defense of ideas during the brainstorming session. 2. No limit on "wild" ideas, no matter how outrageous or impractical they seem. Every idea is to be expressed. 3. Quantity is more desirable than quality. 4. "Piggybacking"- building on ideas - is encouraged. 5. Everyone must be encouraged to participate. 6. Record all ideas - i.e.: on a piece of flipchart paper. 7. Choose " top 5 ideas" - combine similar ideas when appropriate. 8. Individually rank ideas. 9. Decide, as a group, which idea will be enacted first. 10. Begin the brainstorming process again as necessary. You monkeys were critical, judgmental, limited wild ideas, tried to repress ideas, complained about quantity, failed to piggyback, and discouraged me. BAD MONKEYS
  • It's not a question of how You Tube makes money. It's a question of how You Tube gets rid of bits. You Tube is really another name for Eniac Computing. For 60 years, Eniac has been computing and building up excess bits. With an original clock cycle of 5000Hz they would store the left over bits in a spare lav down the hall. But that was overgrown in year two and sensing the oncoming of what later became known as Moore's Law, they began building an enormous underground tunnel, stretching from Aberdeen Md to Crystal City in Arlington. To cover up this massive secret government hole, portions of the tunnel were repurposed into what later became known as the Metro. Now, the government is secretly hoping that with each download from You Tube, you, the viewer can help cart off those excess bits. So really, it is not a question of making money, it is a question of finding a sink for excess government bits.
  • How on earth does YouTube make money? They don't make their money on Earth. The stuff we view for free here on Terra, they charge the Martians fifty quatloos each to watch. But they don't mind paying because they find it highly erotic. And if Yahoo buys YouTube, will they change the name to YahToob?
  • Youhoo.
  • How on earth does YouTube make money? oh my god, I can't believe it's up to me to say it.... 1. STEAL UNDERPANTS 2. 3. PROFIT thank you, I will be here all week. Please don't forget to tip your waitress.
  • It's a very long-range profit plan. In 20 years, they will begin 'asking' people for money to delete those clips they posted of their singing, dancing, or making a fool of themsleves. Or else.
  • It amazes me how quickly YouTube, even moreso than Google Video I think, became an intrinsic part of the web. You can't visit most blogs without seeing a YouTube video linked there. Surely the brand recognition is at its peak right now, and if the VCs want to make a buck through onselling they'll need to make their move very soon. It's kind of sad that private companies don't have to make their financial information public, purely for curiosity's sake.
  • I was amazed to read in the wikipedia article linked to above by jccalhoun that there are 4 interns whose sole job is to eek the improperly-posted videos. These people will need serious psychological counseling.
  • It amazes me how quickly YouTube, even moreso than Google Video I think, became an intrinsic part of the web. The fabled 'convergence' of several technical factors, I guess. Recall trying to do that kind of video-snippet posting 3, 4 years ago; besides problems of hosting, there were bandwidth issues and not everybody had a video camera. Today, broadband is more widespread, as well as video-friendly hosting (even photobucket has it now) and every digital snapshot camera and phone can capture video clips of passable quality.
  • YouTube was implimented as a weapon on the War on Terrorism and is funded by a secret agency under the US Government. This site was created to keep incipient terrorists, morons, and the easily distracted under government watch and control. Any troublemaker with incentive is busy making one of these all-revealing videos, and those chair-humps with no incentive are easily controlled while they sit for hours downloading. Thought control is broadcast prior to the showing of the actual video, and pacifying drugs are put in to the Cheetos and soft drinks. I'm sure they'll come for me soon. I must hurry and finish my how-to video on folding tasteful tin foil hats with exquisite Mylar lining before the knock comes at my door. Viva la Revolution!
  • Youtube pledge drives ala public television. Harness the power of latent guilt!
  • Oh yeah, well Screw You Tube!