June 29, 2006

• "Ring Ring" by Nokia.
• most of my friends: Log from Ren&Stimpy generic ring: Super Mario Brothers theme family: Deck the Halls (guess what my last name is)
• Chimaera's phone makes the saddest, lonliest little "bloop" noise when its battery is low. When it cries out, we look at each other and say, "Aw." We then plug it in the charger out of pure pity.
• A very quiet Peter and the Wolf theme right now.
• I'm strictly a "vibrate" man. yeah, you know why!
• I'm boring, I use one of the rings that came with the phone. It happens to be Beethoven, because it was the loudest of the ringtones. speak up sonny! I'm a little hard of hearing...
• The one that sounds almost like a phone. Or 'vibrate'. You damn kids. Mr Cobalt has the Legend of Zelda theme and a psychic twin sister, so I have nothing but hate for his ring now. My students always had some hip song as their ringtones. The bigger the guy, the girlier the song, without fail. They got much better at turning them off before class when I made a point of telling them their ringtones were 'soooo cute.'
• My phone is ancient - circa 2000, so no downloaded tones. If I get around to updating it, I'd try and find some nature sounds - loons, wolves, thunder, etc. Or my daughter's babbling, if she's not talking by then.
• I have aphex twin's girl/boy song pretty much the greatest song ever and it makes a good ringtone. Speaking of ringtones, this site will let you upload any mp3 you own to your phone for a ringtone for free and no spam so far.
• because it was the loudest of the ringtones Yeah, mine's just the default package, but I chose the loudest and most annoying tone that came with the phone. Every time it goes off it startles the crap out of me.
• I'm strictly a "vibrate" man. Man, me too. Probably my least favorite gadget noise in the world is a phone ringer. No, wait, alarm buzzer. Which is why I wake to the soothing sounds of NPR's morning edition. But phone ringer's second on the shit list, and that goes double for any ringtone that does not rock hard enough or is not sufficiently clever. Why, yes, you may kiss my ring.
• it will play games but not with me I want it to act with some dignity and behave like a telephone but in fact it has notions of its own I want it to ring and not play tunes otherwise I forget the damn thing's a phone and folk get annoyed when I don't answer calls because nothing rang and the song was false
• Economical way to declare yourself a colossal doofus? Allow your cell phone to alert the theater: Fleetwood Mac calling!
• hehe Well the mp3-as-ringtone has me asking the big questions. Such as, what-would-God-use-as-a-ringtone-if-in-fact-ringtones-exist? I'm currently going with the idea of the old telephone ringer sound (think Bogart movie telephone) or a bird song. But which bird?
• Some 'piiing piing', underwatery-sounding bell, nokia-standard. Very low, though... vibrate does the job. On a previous one, had a sample of those first echoing notes from underworld's 'Born slippy'. I loved it.
• Kookaburra.
• A mockingbird seems appropriate for a monkey.
• Or a booby.
• your contribution to the caws is appreciated
• bobwhites have a rather distinctive call.
• God's Ringtone is, obviously, Carmina Burana. Of course, it's usually just another idjit looking for a handout. Friggin humans.
• Another vibrate man here...but if I were to use a ringtone, the intro riff to Mountain's 'Mississippi Queen' has a perfect phone-ringer cadence. Plus it has cowbell.
• God's Ringtone is, obviously, Carmina Burana. You say Carmina I say Carmana You say Burina I say Burana Camina! Carmana! Burina! Burana! Let's Carl the whole thing Orff.
• Ow! ow! ow! ow! sssss! ooo that smarts
• I don't have a cell phone. Ha!
• Freak!
• I love those gatherings where everyone's phones are in their bags or coats, and everyone's scrambling around to find out whose is ringing. "Was it the Toreador song? Nope, not mine."
• I don't have a cell phone. I have people. Shit! With the new job, I don't have people. I need a cell phone. With the communicator click-click from original Star Trek. Or Apollo moonshot beeps. But the beeps would have to be at the start and end of the call, so that might be a bit tricky. And a little 'vox' key on the pad for authenticity. BEEP! Come in, my boy, this is your mother calling... BEEP! BEEP! Roger that, Grimsby. BEEP! BEEP! We haven't heard from you all day. Your father and I are getting a bit worried. BEEP! BEEP! What? BEEP! BEEP! We haven't heard from you since last night. Are you OK? Do you need our help? BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Capt., are you there? It's your mother. BEEP! BEEP! Jeez, mom, I'm 32. I can take care of myself. BEEP! BEEP! We know you can. We're just here to help if you need us to. BEEP! BEEP! Fer cryin' out loud, can't I do anything without you having to know about it? What the hell! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! My laundry ready? BEEP! Second thought, scratch the cell.
• Or maybe, like, an actual bell sound, like the old Bell payphones. You'd hear it, realize it's a phone, but attached to a cell, it'd just be somehow off. Like the prop sounds in Airplane.
• o/` bananaphone / ring, ring, ring o/`
• I got Virgin Mobile's cheapest phone after I lost my previous phone over New Year's, and was absolutely appalled to discover that it is incapable of making a sound anything like a phone ringing. I mean, usually they'll throw you a bone and have at least one ringtone that isn't musical. So after some flirting with the Dr. Dre-inspired "Low Rider" melody I turned off the ringer entirely.
• I have that default T-Mobile ring, so every time the commercial with Catherine Zeta Jones comes on, I think my phone is ringing. Unless I'm expecting a call I want to take, I just leave it in silent mode and return calls in the evening. I hate the intrusion of it ringing wherever I go. To me, it sounds like, "STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND TAKE MY CALL." And I'm just too stubborn to do that.
• So that's why you never answer. You don't send me flowers anymore either.
• Fish Tick wins! At what? I don't know.
• I use a ringtone made up by They Might Be Giants, a wee little punky song where they sing "Phone phone phone! Phone phone phone! Phoooooooooone!" It's silly and I like it.
• I second Ooga_Booga's determination, Fish Tick wins the thread. I wonder if I could find Tempus Est Iocundum for my ringer!
• You don't send me flowers anymore either. I just had an image of a Barbra and Neil Diamond ringtone, and -- and -- kit, make it go away... *continues rocking in foetal position*
• I use a 1950s British telephone ring. Got it from a site that internet curmudgeon James Lileks suggested. It makes people smile when they first hear it.
• They Might Be Giants has a few ringtones (specifically recorded for that purpose) on their website, and I use one of those. It's a short tune called "Call Connected Through the NSA," and the lyrics are: Call connected through the NSA/Complete transmission through the NSA/Suspending your rights for the duration of the permanent war. It's pretty catchy.
• I either have a Merzbow track playing, or an old telephone ring, depending on who calls. (I really need to change the Merzbow - makes me look like a right tosser.)
• Cell phone Etiquette
• Mine will only play MIDI crap, but I have the theme from the old Defender of the Crown game as the ringer in that glorious MIDI. I also have a version of Nirvana's Lithium in MIDI that sounds so bouncy and happy. For voicemail notification I have a MIDI of STP's Trippin on a Hole in a Paper Hear but it was made by someone who had apparently never made a midi before because the melody and harmony are at different tempos and different keys.
• I either have a Merzbow track playing, or an old telephone ring, depending on who calls. (I really need to change the Merzbow - makes me look like a right tosser.) posted by jack_mo at 09:10PM UTC on June 29, 2006 *amazed that MoFite #150 waited over two years to post their first comment, and that it mentions Merzobw!*
• A twingly version of Handel's Water Music that came with the phone. Personally, I always thought God's ringtone was the Hallelujah Chorus. Or maybe that's the one you get if God is phoning you?
• They Might Be Giants' "Call Connected through the NSA" can be downloaded in mp3 form here. You can also hear Meredithea's ringtone off TMBG's front page too.
• fish tick for Space-Pope! All hail!
• Here here! fish tick for Pepsident!
• DAMN YOU, Steely Duran! I. I. I was supposed to be the one to make the bananaphone comment. *grits teeth My phone rings a semi-normal (for a cell phone) ring, and that's enough of a PITA to annoy me. I hate the intrusion of it ringing wherever I go. To me, it sounds like, "STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND TAKE MY CALL." And I'm just too stubborn to do that. Mickey, I'm with you all the way. I look at the thing and wonder why I pay money to carry it around. Mr. Horse's ringtone goes boodap boodap whistle chucka chucka SHEeeeeeeeeeeee, boodap doodap, chuck chuck chucka whooooo didip didip... AND I HATE IT. Makes me want to do one of those slow-mo smashenings on it. MonkeyFilter: I'm strictly a "vibrate" man. yeah, you know why! *Leave a message. I'll get back to you.
• Theme from Wallace and Gromit.
• I don't have a cellular phone, but I might enjoy a cellular codpiece.
• Exactly how to you answer the codpiece when it rings? You didn't have any ribs removed, did you?
• I've had the same tune for the last 10 years, either by manually keying in the tune on the old phones, or downloading midis or mp3s onto the later ones. "Eyes On Me" from Final Fantasy 8. I don't use the original one sung by Faye Wong, because it sounds quite awful to me emanating from the phone speakers, but a variety of instrumental versions. The current one is a slow, pared down version, and sounds like it's played using bells. Very soothing, and after a while my colleagues would hum along with the tune when my phone rang.
• I canna tell a lie. Not even a year.
• Let's put it this way -- this isn't a tie I'm wearing.
• This was an excellent question, petebest! It is my understanding that another monkey went to see DaVinci Code last week, and during a critical scene ("You mean I'm the descendant of the FSM?1?/?") a cell phone a few rows behind began to ring. Actually, it clucked in a poultryish way, and 'twas some time before the device was located in the depths of a handbag, and the chickens were silenced. Harrrumph!
• My wife has a very high pitched bird call for her ring. I have very good hearing, so you can hear this even when the phone is several rooms away. As for me, my phone is not capable of such things and I mostly keep it on vibrate, as it is usually in a pocket or near enough to hear the vibrating battery. I always thought it would be fun to program someone elses phone with a ring that had someone saying "answer me" in progressively louder and louder volumes and carried out a monologue about why the phone should be answered until the phone was shouting at you to answer it.
• My phone, which is a few months younger than three years, has polyphonic ringtones (basically, super-MIDI) but cannot play mp3s or vocals that I know of. It is also desperately quiet. I have all the regular ringtones and another ten or so that I've downloaded, but of those, you really cannot hear any rings that start with any kind of "percussion"... it's soft and plinky. So, some of my old faves ("99 Luftballoons", "Boys Don't Cry", "New Year's Day") are out of the question. If someone calls, I never even hear the phone; I can only hear stuff that's done with loud, higher, blaring tones. Since I keep the phone in a handbag, putting it on vibrate is out of the question. The only two songs I've found that work on my cellphone in the versions that can be used on it are "Clocks" (Coldplay) and "Lucky" (Franz Ferdinand). I downloaded the latter because I was tired of the former, and because it's kind of naughty-sounding, and I thought that would be fun for a while. Nonetheless, I fear that having either of these as my ringtone makes me look like even more of a wanker than I actually am (heh, heh). I wish I could hear the "Blitzkrieg Bop" ringtone that I downloaded, but it's just too soft and percussiony.
• If I could get a recording of Terry-Thomas saying "Hellooo" I might change from the bog-standard tone that came with the phone.
• ABIEZER_COPPE! How DARE you post to mofi without first checking in with the 'firc! We've been worried SICK young man! Poor Neddy has been sitting up, waiting and worrying for you to come home, and what do you do? Prance about all LAH-DI-DAH without even the SLIGHTEST thought for those you've left behind! And don't even get me STARTED on poor gomichild! You should be ashamed.
• *cries piteously*
• *listens to the sound of her heart breaking over and over*
• No amount of emotional blackmail is going to restrain in my lah-di-dah. *continues prancing in a most unpreposessing fashion*
• I always just used whatever came with the phone, but when my old phone died the new one didn't come with anything I would consider a "phone" sound, they were all terrible melodies. I was planning on using the "old bell phone" thing, but then I started to hear it everywhere, so I ditched that idea. I just grabbed a generic mobile phone ring from somewhere in the end, but tend to just leave it on vibe when I remember to bring it with me.
• i use the vibrate by default, a ringing tone for family, and a stuttering pip for other contacts. i appreciate the ability to distinguish the category of caller before i begin my desperate hunt for the phone (which has usually been carried off victoriously by a toddler and placed in the washing machine/bath/cot).
• I use TOS classic Trek sound effects. Comms chirp for my new communicator!
• To the tune of the Nokia standard tune: "I'm annoying, I'm annoying, I'm annoying YOU" I use a ringing sound. Sorry.
• Imperial March, played badly in phone tones. It won't take MP3s cos it's old, but if it did it would be the dance version of the theme from the IT Crowd.
• I use TOS classic Trek sound effects. I was considering the boatswain's whistle sound from the Enterprise's intercom ("Kirk here.") but I think I'm going to use Jaco's "Portrait of Tracy" for the soft, rounded asskickery.
• After careful consideration, I retract my comment about the cellular codpiece.* * To heck with cellular. Satellite codpieces are the futuuuuuure.
• > Exactly how to you answer the codpiece when it rings? Headset. Except when the call is from nature.
• Mine says, "Pick up the phone, honey," if it's my husband. It says "Mom, are you there?" if it's my daughter. And it plays Ludacris "Get Back" (You Don't Know Me Like That) for everyone else. It almost never rings because nobody ever calls me.
• Except when the call is from nature. I suppose the call from "teh wild" is on vibrate?
• "When the Levee Breaks" and "Son of a Preacher Man"...pure AM gold!!!
• a few rings tones from David Lynch.
• Call Connected thru the NSA ringtone by They Might be Giants.
• I'm with cutflank. All my incoming callers but one ring a MP# of the Overthruster bleep-bleep from Buckaroo Banzai - soft and gentle enough not to steal attention when in a corporate meeting. The one exception is my wife - when she call's an MP3 of her saying, "Pick up the phone, Honey. This is your wife calling." plays. After ten years of being together I've been conditioned such that her voice cuts through any background noise, not matter how loud it may be. I rarely miss one of her calls.
• Studies have shown that nearly all humans respond better to a female voice in noisy situations. This is probably due to both the frequency range of the female voice & the conditioning to respond to a mother's call in mammals. These studies were mostly driven by aerospace & military development of cockpit voice systems for automated equipment. People respond quicker to a female voice.
• I just spilt a beer on myself.
• what would your mother say, Chy?
• "stop wasting good beer, digger" ?
• Chimaera and I bought new phones today. My new tone is a loudly-crowing rooster. I can't wait to be a smartass the next time it rings. *wrings hands*
• So, you'll deny the caller after three "rings"? Why hast thou forsaken me?
• Musical ringtones are an abomination against man and nature and users of such should have bowls of moldy rutabegas lobbed at their heads!!!!
• "Smerk on tha Waaater ... Der der deeerrrrr Der der der der Der der der Der der" Usually get asked to put it on mute at work ...
• So, Berek, you have the Moldy Rutabagas playing as your ringtone?
• Bah, Ma Bell would have never allowed such foolishness. /Phone police still exist. //Johnny Fever knows the truth. ///So does the President's Analyst.
• Pacman for now. But as an avid audio editor using CoolEdit or Adobe Audition, I can create any ringtone I want! Mua-ha-ha-ha!!!
• You, Ball Point head, are an evil man, and I moch thee! (Points at ridiculiously small ball point head stuffed in oversized codpiece and issues derisive bwah-ha-ha!)