June 23, 2006

Oldest Known Living Animal Isn't: Harriet the Tortoise has died at age 175 (+/-).

I hope your '.'s are ready, monkeys. Today they are needed. via

posted by Nickdanger 18 years ago
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  • Nick you low down low life scum bum one-link postin' weasel bugface! ., Harriet. Good turtle.
  • Born 1830, about nine years after Napoleon's death ... getting up there into OLD territory. Harriet we wish ye well, and wave goodbye to ye, old hard shell
  • Harriet, a goil tortle, has shuffled off her coil mortal. If she could read this silly voise*, She'd WISH to be an ex-tortoise. (*'Voise' should be read as Bugs Bunny saying 'verse'. It's confusingly near to 'voice', but if you spell it 'verse' then 'torterse' is too hard to read... ) We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread, already in progess.
  • this tortoise travelled far from the land of her birth her life was long, and if there's value in survival, must be accounted one of worth but what Harriet herself made of being carted round the earth to live so long so far from home we'll never know now she's a shade
  • I think I heard about this before. But it does bear repeating. Bye Harriet. We hardly knew ye.
  • Turtles to turtles, dust to dust. amen. .
  • Nick you low down low life scum bum one-link postin' weasel bugface! Hey!
  • I am not resigned to the shuffling off, nor the back and forth, of tortoised hearts new-laid in fresh-turned earth. But it's been like this for a long time: a turtle hardly has a shot at living, when boom! the whole thing's over like a scene without a plot. Down they go, the warty, the wrinkled, and those pent in shell, before one breath of God's fresh air they've chanced to smell.
  • Goodbye, Galapagos, You meant a lot to us. *plays that sad song from "Highlander" about not living forever*
  • The foghorn scorns the dangers of the sunken reef, The screeching gulls wing widely o'er the sea; The turtle-herders inland plod without relief, And leave the turmoil of the day for you and me. How keen the mem'ry of our ancient wreck! Harriet, now time-borne far beyond our beck, Then jocundly she pranced to eat her salad, But now, like Shelley, she lies all too pallid.
  • Turtles! I love those chocolates!
  • There can be only one.
  • How does one tell (When inside its shell) Whether a tortoise Is entirely well? (Is it the smell?)
  • Hi, Chaz! *waves one black sock-clad foot amiably* It could well bee the smell.
  • Yo, Bees! (Quietly sniffling into black handkerchief) Beasts that have scabies (Or suffer from rabies) Seldom have babies That live long enough To pass on contagion From one generation Into the next. Some creatures have features (Like karma and armour) That maximise chances Of mating dances. One solitary chelonian (Now sought by Smithsonian*) Staked fame not on children, But on being centenarian. Having triumphed in this endeavour (Thinking she was very clever) Off she went for century two! (Sadly, this she could not do) Darwin himself would shout out aloud "Harriet, We are so very proud" From you and yours (after much strife) We've learned the origins of life. Your life spanned the whole solution - From ignorance to evolution. (That is what the tortoise Taught us) (*statement not based in fact)
  • /anal retentive tortoise lover A tortoise is not a turtle and I don't care what wiki has to say about that! /ARTL RIP, dear Harriet.
  • Heh! ye must always talk turtle to me! for these beasts you've great affinity together now in song we shall lament: she lived here long and then she went so long Harriet from Chaz and the poet lariat!
  • Tortoise? Mortis.
  • Ladies and gentlemen, Muhammad Ali! *applause*
  • TUM scores! We will, we will ROCK YOU! *rumble rumble rumble*
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  • T! U! M! Good-o, Chaz and Bees. If Harriet had a funeral, you could be the pallbearing poets.
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  • . . . (also: hee! "mortis." hee hee!)
  • ... pall-bearer... Not again. How much did Harriet weigh?
  • So, who's the oldest animal now? (Who, because at that age you're not an it anymore.)
  • Mare, don't look at me! I may be old, but I'm not that ancient yet.
  • because they couldn't answer this in truth we see two horses growing longer in the tooth
  • Nick you low down low life scum bum one-link postin' weasel bugface! AMEN BROTHER! Verily though hast spoken wise!!! Now let us commence to yon communal dining room for thy repast of turtle soupy.
  • . She had a good innings, I guess.
  • Here's a few extra links for you, Berek! Now you'll get your money's worth out of my FPP!
  • I don't have time to read all those links. Can you summarize?
  • They're not for you, they're for Berek. Nobody else is allowed to read them.
  • Ha Ha, too late. How come nobody ever dedicates links to ME?!?!
  • For BlueHorse. There. EVERYBODY HAPPY ALREADY?
  • No! *kicks thread*
  • Whoa! A linky? For ME? Way kool. Isn't a yurt called a ger in some regions? Interesting that the underground lodging is a ger. na na na na na, Pete. I gotta linky and you didn't. So there!
  • Field Museum scientists solve riddle of mysterious faces on South Pacific artifacts Most of these mysterious faces, they report, may represent sea turtles. Furthermore, these ceramic portraits may be showing us ideas held by early Pacific Islanders about the origins of humankind.
  • Lapita pottery Pottery reveals the face of a lost tribe Or turtle, as the case may be.