Yes, but if wasn't for email forwards, I would not have learned that a Wal-Mart parking lot can be very dangerous. Between the perfume salesman giving out samples that turns out to be ether, and the Mexican Gang kidnapping people, I wonder how that place stays in business.
Forward this thread to at least five people in the next week and you will have good luck, but if you don't your country will be attacked by terrorists.
Very nicely played. Wish I had the guts to use that when I get horrible forwards, and especially the stuff that can be debunked on Snopes in two minutes.
I often get told I'm now fun when I reply with the debunking article from Snopes.
Ignorance is bliss fucking annoying.
The newer computational devices come with a handy little whatnot called a "delete key." You used to have to order them special from the factory in Ceylon.
www.badgerbadgerbadger.com. That wasn't so hard.
*clicks on link*
AAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!
HumsterDunce, anyone?
Jebus lubs you. Spread the meme.
I can take the songs and the warnings and the ridiculous cartoons - what gets me is the super-duper heartfelt friendship forwards where there are flowers and bunnies and hearts and a poem about how much my friend loves me! And I am supposed to add a personal message and send it to my other friends and then contract email-osmotic type II diabetes. And the girl who sends me this crap has known me for 5 years!
what gets me is the super-duper heartfelt friendship forwards
Yes, ma'am. Stupid jokes and fake viruses I can take. But please stop with the saccharine, obviously fake "inspirational" stories.
YE is for I love ye so
NT, I'm MT when you go
RU as happy as I be?
OC how much U mean 2 me!
*refuses to forward that to ten friends*
*dies of ass rabies*
"AB, CD goldfish?"
"MNO goldfish!"
"SDR goldfish!"
"DLAR!"
*also dies of ass rabies LIVE ON STAGE*
LIB, MR ducks!
OK, here's the thing. Why is this any kinder or more well-received than a nicely-worded email saying "please, don't send me these anymore"?
Am I the only one who would totally make fun of their friends for forwarding them stupid crap? If you can't make fun of your friends, who are you going to make fun of?
six.oh.six - the leekspin song is Levas Polka by Loituma
Google Video
If anyone needs me, I'll be in my hole.
YES I'll be wearing the fucking wedding dress!!
Hello everybody,
My name is Bill Gates. I have just written up an Mofi-tracing program that traces everyone who loads this thread. I am experimenting with this and I need your help. Reply to this thread repeatedly, and if it reaches 1000 responses everyone in the thread will receive $1000 at my expense. Enjoy.
Your friend,
Bill Gates
Ooh!
Why is this any kinder or more well-received than a nicely-worded email saying "please, don't send me these anymore"?
No amount of candy coating will make people take it the "right" way. I got one of those "save this sick child" emails from a very religious coworker, and as gently as possible I explained that it was a hoax. He responded with "Sorry, I was just trying to help".
*bangs head on desk*
Eeg, Koko.
I used to get emails from my coworkers (I worked in social services at the time -- for the Army, no less) that would be all smooshy and heart-string-yanking.
After a while, I sent a mass email asking that everyone please not send me emails that were not work-related. My excuse was that I was getting hundreds of emails per day, and could not wade through them all. I provided an alternate (personal) email address (a toss-away one that I never checked), and everyone forwarded crap to me from there. It worked just fine.
Incidentally, most companies have policies about engaging in not-for-work emails. I know the Army did, but that didn't stop those damned femes from sending me their syrupy crap.
'ere now- wot's a damned feme?
Oi, prabably a damned feme vitale loike y'self luv.
Here's the latest from my mother:
This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received. Hope it works for you -- and me! You have 6
minutes
There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious. This has been sent To you for good luck from
the Anthony Robbins organization. It has been sent around the world ten times so Far.
Do not keep this message.
Must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not
superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.
THANKS MOM FOR SENDING ME A FUCKING TIME-BOMB OF BAD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Forutnately, I've managed to systematically discourage everyone else from sending me these things. But, mothers, right? What can you do?
Be petulant.
Quickly.
Oh, by the way, you guys all have 6 minutes to forward that message to another forum.
OOOPS TIMES UP GUESS YOU'RE ALL FUCKED!!!!
dammit!
I got that one about how Winston Churchill was drowning in a bog in Scotland and Fleming's father saved him and Churchill's dad sent Fleming to university and Fleming discovered penicillin and saved Winston Churchill's life AGAIN when Churchill got pneumonia in Africa. This little anecdote was followed up by some pap about Irish good luck.
So I sent my dad the Snopes link about it. Haven't had any more emails in a week so far.
'ere now- wot's a damned feme?
Er...it's a category I have for a certain breed of female. Specifically, a "damned feme" is the kind of woman who is powerless in her own life and needs to exert some sort of political or emotional dominance over others around her at work or in social situations. This female is often manipulative, back-stabbing, and prone to emotional drama.
Needless to say, I am NO FUN AT TUPPERWARE PARTIES.
Nunia, that is really, really awesome. I know exactly the sort of person you mean, and now I know what to call them!
YMMV, mechagrue, but I would be wary of innocuous questions like, "So, what does your spouse do?" or "Did you watch [your favorite ho-bag prime-time teevee show here] last night?" or "How was your weekend?"
Efforts at emotional intimacy are nothing more than attempts to "get the goods" on you so that, when you do something of which said feme disapproves, you'll be prepared for the emotional blackmail to ensue.
DF: How could you drop the ball on me like this with [disgruntled client here]? I thought we were friends! Don't you know that going over my head to my supervisor hurt my feelings?
YOU: Do I know you?
The best method of dealing with a damned feme is to say a lot of non sequiturs. They never know how to deal with that, and eventually they give up, since you don't fit into their schema of domination.
DF: "So, how was your weekend?"
YOU: "I wonder who invented pencil erasers."
blissfucking annoying.