June 06, 2006

The Monkey Chow Diaries: "On June 3, 2006, I began my week of eating nothing but monkey chow: "a complete and balanced diet for the nutrition of primates, including the great apes.""
  • he should at least try it with a banana smoothie chaser.
  • Contains animal fat.... but of what?
  • Monkeys. "Monkey chow is monkeys!" screamed Charleton Heston.
  • He's kinda cute. If he's craving hot food, he could moisten a bowl of kibbles an microwave 'em.
  • He should mix them with the vodka he's drinking and do soggy ass-flavored monkey chow shots.
  • /barfs
  • "Put it on a plate, son, you'll enjoy it more." "I couldn't enjoy it any more, Mom. This is swell!"
  • He doesn't sound as balanced as his new diet.
  • I'm feeling so sorry for the monkeys who have to eat this stuff.
  • Also, why is he eating monkey food and not food for great apes?
  • Many animals and birds become bored with a monotonous diet. Apes enjoy vegetables and fruits; but I think making any one thing the only item in a creature's diet is courting trouble. I've the suspicion that monkey chows were created so that reasearchers didn't have another set of variables to take into account. Very few zoos, however, have found it wise to reduce the stimulation in an animal's environment and daily routine. In fact, the trend now is to provide all the intellectual stimulation possible, so that animals aren't just fed a pan of kibble or biscuit, but have to search around in order to discover what and where food items are hidden/placed.
  • Yeah, i hate it when they do that. I'm hungry now!
  • Sorry, Pete. Try looking under that couch for yer ham sandwich.