May 26, 2006

Quotations about the Internet
The net's a cross between an elephant and a white elephant sale: it never forgets, and it's always crap.
posted by tracicle 18 years ago
  • I'm never forgetting this post. It's crap.
  • "Spending an evening on the World Wide Web is much like sitting down to a dinner of Cheetos [sic]," says Cliff Stoll, a Berkeley astronomer who has been using the Internet since 1975."Two hours later your fingers are yellow and you're no longer hungry, but you haven't been nourished." WSJ, 1/25/96.
  • I'd say a mix of elephant, white elephant and pink elephant. Never forgets, always crap and all in your head. On the Internet, Nobody Knows You're an Elephant.
  • "The internet is full. Go away."
  • I nose an elephant when I seize one.
  • "There ARE 1 Million monkeys sitting at 1 Million typewriters... they can be found right here on the Internet."
  • Why then do we have only something more than 5000 members?
  • "There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not true." 994,788 to go.
  • "Blogging is like doing a really big shit. It feels good to you to get everything out, but other people usually aren't interested in the results."
  • The internet is like a dose of clap. While you're doing it, all thoughts of prudence fly out the window, but afterwards, there is only pus.
  • "Why the Internet is Good" Is that the best title the guy could come up with? Sounds like a high-school book report. And all the "unconfirmed" sources! Run, Forrest! RUN!
  • "The internet is like a giant who lives in the sky dropping his pencil sharpener and the giant pencil shapener falls on an old woman's house and crushes it but luckily she was round at her friend Ethel's house at the time having tea and some of that cake - you know, the one with lots of fruit in it that nobody really likes that much - and they were talking about whether Autumn was more temperate this year than last year and the old woman's friend (Ethel, that is) has, like, ten cats all called Boris."
  • God, quid, your quote makes no sense. Shouldn't the old woman's friend be named Samantha?
  • Ah, fuck - sorry NickyD, you're right, of course. Sorry for the typo.
  • OH INTERCOURSE THE PENGUIN!!
  • and only nine of the cats were named Boris the other one was named Sigmund Yodel.
  • Giggle!
  • I would like to have the Internet all to myself. Plus maybe a few trusted friends.
  • On the Internets, nobody knows you're a trusted friend.
  • Hey, Al Gore wouldn't have given us the intarweb if it wasn't good for us.
  • I am fairly sure that if they took porn off the internet, there would only be one website left, and it would be called, "Bring back the porn." (part of a quote from Scrubs, which I think is missing from that list.)
  • wait. the interwhat?
  • the what web?
  • first i've heard of it.
  • Oh yeah, can someone dig up the first use of the "How do I shot web?" meme? I'm just curious.