May 18, 2006

• Can it be? Really? I'm the FIRST??? Praise the Lord! *GramMa spreads arms wide, stands on tiptoe, bellows: The hilllllllllllls are aaaaaaaalive, with the sound of muuuuuuuuuuusic! What else?
• Solved
• Kenny Campbell - an unusual man with an unusual hobby.
• Well, that was fast. Eh, I like my mysteries cryptic and long-lasting.
• I've climbed Ben Nevis, and while it's not exactly mountain climbing in the traditional sense, it's a long arduous walk with some steep and rubbly sections. I can't imagine single-handedly carrying a 226 lb load to the summit.
• Well carrying it up seems to be fine. Remembering where you put it or carrying it back down when you are done seems to be the tricky bit.
• Actually, er, that's not Kenny's organ. I happen to know who put that piano there, where it came from, & why it has no keyboard.
• Aha!
• Dear explorers, If you happen to find a set of keys with a Gumby keychain, could you please send them back to me? Thanks!
• Wait a minute. It was found at only 4000ft. That's not a mountain, that's a molehill!
• "It is likely that it is the same organ. I carried it up and if they want me to take it down I'll carry it down for them." What a very gentlemanly thing to say. When reading W.S. Gilbert's A Sensation Novel, I had been under the impression that Ben Nevis was a place he made up to fit the rhyme scheme. Thick Yank, me.
• But organs don't have strings. Perhaps he's just an ordinary organ-litterer, and the real fiendish piano-litterer has gotten away with the crime of the century.
• OK. Am I the only one here wondering why the hell they were clearing stones from the top of a mountain? Is this a British thing? That picture looks a lot more like the cast iron harp from a piano than the innards of a small pipe organ to me.
• In Britain, we enjoy a spot of stone-clearing. Can't be having these untidy mountaintops, you know. Why do you think our highest mountain is only 400ft tall?
• > why the hell they were clearing stones from the top of a mountain? i'm guessing people pick one up while climbing and place them in stacks on the top. they're described as "cairns" in the article.
• Also, it gives me an indescribable joy to know that the piano was carried up there by a Scotsman in a kilt.
• So, Chy - care to share your little secret with the whole class?
• Ah, tidying the mountains. It makes sense now. Stone-littered mountaintops are very unsightly, mucking up the scenery and whatnot. Do the British also tidy their forests? Clear up all those unsightly branches and underbrush? Yes, Chy! Out with it! What's yer secret?
• 
• fimbulvetr, I am sorry to say that the efforts of generations of stalwart forest-tidiers have been largely undermined by the actions of troops of dastardly squirrels, who bustle about putting things back the way they were. Britain's forests will never be truly tidy until they are squirrel-free. TUM-- sterling bit of documentary photography there, old thing! Top hole! Chyren-- tell all!
• I once met an elderly relative in the north of Scotland who was very upset with a reforestation project on a nearby mountain - "It spoils the view so!". Hid the pianos, as well.
• It was me & two mates, drunk as skylarks, carrying a fucking pub piano up Ben Nevis in 1986 in preparation for the great harmonic convergence. I have written a book about it some years ago, entitled Three Men Drunk as Skylarks, Carrying a Fucking Piano up Ben Nevis, but until now I've been rejected by every publisher I sent it to. The proof is: where we dumped the Joanna, I left me' black peaked beanie under it, that I always used to wear. This was in 1986. The biscuit wrapper was probably from Patrick, he was a fat bastard. They were McVitties digestives, if memory serves. Andy left his drumsticks.
• Actually, that's a complete lie. It should be obvious to all of you. There is only one man who would carry a piano up a Scottish mountain. A certain Munich-born Superman of the directing persuasion. A man whose initials are W H. As for his reasons.. these are inscrutable to mere mortals.
• In that case, it would have been a Mighty Werzoglitzer Organ.
• McVitties digestives A superb biscuit!
• Do not dare to speak the name of Der Werzog's Organ aloud! I named his organ "Spiffy."
• Hooogaaaaaaan!!
• Damn squirrels. It's always the damn squirrels.
• O SQRLY?
• I'm impressed he played Scotland the Brave. That's a good song for the top of a mountain.
• Y'all are stupid. Obviously, the piano grew there naturally.
• we climbed to the top of Ben Nevis for tea, the Werzog in a kilt that he'd purloined from me he brought his piano which I had to carry and he had my bagpipes which he sought to bury
• I dunno. It looks to me to be in pretty bad shape, even more so than you'd expect after years exposed to the elements. Maybe it fell off a luxury zeppelin.
• Also, TUM, "Mighty Werzoglitzer Organ" not only cracked me up completely, but is a fantastic name for a band.
• On top of Ben Nevis an organ is found where untidy squirrels in the forests abound Some say it was placed there under a cairn when many a monkey was just wee bairn But to see Werzog's Wurlitzer and the the way it is built you'll have to go ask him to lift up is kilt.
• Obviously God put the piano there as a test of our faith. Like with dinosaur bones.
• ))))), islander!
• Heh! Hoot! And more ))) to ye, islander!
• Monkeyfilter: Werzog's Wurlitzer
• The rocky spot is windy and high The piano's old and so am I No one's around, the time is nigh To tinkle in the cold night sky
• I lugged my old piano up Along the mountain track. I sat to play a little fugue, But, oh! my aching Bach!
• A piano on a mountain top? Who went to all that trouble, To haul it up four thousand feet and discard it in the rubble? No doubt some drunken Scots set out To have themselves a ceilidh. Next time they party on the Ben They should take a ukelele.
• I canna play ye Für Elise- me sporran's caught betwixt yon keys. Me tartan pleats are all a-tangle, I think I've pinched me wurzel-mangel, but on this barren rocky tor I'll gi' ye Clair de Lune for sure.
• Truly inspired, one and all! I'll contribute my wee mite: MonkeyFilter: Damn squirrels. It's always the damn squirrels. *resumes bellowing: With songs they have sunnnnnng for a thousand yeeeeeeeearrrs The hills are aaaaaliiiiiive...
• agus conas a tharla se? go bhfaighfear piano ar bharr na sleibhe? ni kenny a rinne e de reir chryen. ach dearfaimid b'fheidir. it's not scots gaelic, but it's the best i can do. translation: and how did it happen? that a piano was found on top of the mountain kenny didn't do it according to chyren. but we'll suggest perhaps (that it was kenny). poetry reviewers, please note liberal use of internal rhyme, internal transposed rhyme, and consonance: all important qualities of gaelic poetry. also, this does rhyme at least in my pronunciation (connaught or leinster irish). i haven't written in irish for years. it's nice. okay, i'll stop now.
• *dons quadrifocals*
• I . . I think he's insulting us. *squints*
• I love a piano, I love a piano, And on the mountaintop I play Upon a piano, a small piano That I've carried all that way It's no Wurlitzer-- had one, but dissed 'er Running my freezin' fingers o'er the keys, I snort and sneeze Brought my McVitie's from the cities, I've had nowt else to eat all day, Except a whisky, to get me frisky In case the Werzog comes my way Up amidst the rocks and snow I play my p-i-a-n-o, oh oh And like Beethoven, I won't be movin' 'Cause I'm frozen where I stand! (apologies)
• *hands Chy golden beer bottle, truss*
• So, is carrying keyboard instruments up mountains some kind pf popular fundraiser in the UK?
• IIRC, an offstage but oft-mentioned character in the play I'm directing is the Duke of Ben-Nevis. I always imagine him as sitting on top of the mountain playing the piano in a kilt.
• Or how about sitting at the top of a mountain, surveying his domain in regal attire...