May 08, 2006

• ..report courtesy of the UK's Ministry of Defense.
• "The close proximity of plasma related fields can adversely affect a vehicle or person," states the report. "Local fields of this type have been medically proven to cause responses in the temporal lobes of the human brain. These result in the observer sustaining (and later describing and retaining) his or her own vivid, but mainly incorrect, description of what is experienced." Ah. I knew there was a reasonable explanation. "plasma related field" You know, I'm not a UFO buff by any means, but when people write weird shit like that, it really DOES make you think they're trying to hide something.
• So... we should stop worrying about aliens, and instead worry about "plasma related fields". /worries.
• While the universe is more than large enough to support scads of non-humans, and my personal opinion based on the myriad and diverse forms of life on earth is that the universe is probably brim-full of interesting flora and fauna, the distances involved make any sort of visitation unlikely. Someday we will hear from our neighbors, but it will be a LOOOOOOONG distance call.
• In the meantime, somebody needs to chart out these "plasma related fields" so we can go hang out under them. It kind of sounds like they get you high.
• That was weird. Are the comments messed up?
• Because my second comment was written after I read Fes's, yet it appeared before it. Hmmm... Plasma related fields are responsible, I presume.
• Oh, wait, no they're not.
• The comments seem to be working fine for me.
• My entire southern hemisphere is a plasma field - a plasma field of LOVE!
• and you may stand under it if you wish.
• "Someday we will hear from our neighbors, but it will be a LOOOOOOONG distance call." They'll send automated probes, & if sufficiently advanced, robots. They don't have to come here personally. Far more efficient to send a machine. I should think robots constructed by an alien race would be rather different than we'd expect, in fact it might be difficult for us to recognise them as robots rather than biological entities.
• Good point. In that regard, it is possible we have been visited - but I still think it highly unlikely. I think, based on nothing other than my unfounded opinion, that first contact is going to be via something akin to a radio signal. Like a cosmic bullhorn.
• Hadda squizz around for this "plasma field" BS & came across this. Coherent Plasma A MoD spokesperson said: "Both this study and the original "Flying Saucer Working Party" [already in public domain in the national Archives] concluded that there is insufficient evidence to indicate the presence of any genuine unidentified aerial phenomena. Ah, fa cryin out loud!
• "The close proximity of plasma related fields can adversely affect a vehicle or person..." I think this is just the newest way of saying you're too close to the tv. And tv has never gotten me high. "Banzai" came close, though. Real, live Japanese tv may take me all the way...
• There's not much that gets under my skin but the fuckin morons (MoD f'r inst') who spend $$$'s in the millions on these studies give me a major dose of the shits! One look at this place, and any sapient being with any sense of self preservation's gonna bugger off bloody fast, report back to base & send back some covert obbo lot to keep an eye on the show in case we do discover some viable way to get near populated planets. Shit a brick, imagine bloody Bush's xenophobic lot grabbin that one and runnin with it!
• We assume that any alien species will, simply by virtue of superior technology, automatically be benevolent at our peril. Overwhelmingly this is an intellectual peril, but nonetheless. They are unlikely to *eat* us (the differences in our biologies are likely to be so vast as to preclude them being able to assimilate us, and vice versa), but there's no reason to think they would automatically come as angels.
• Well, ANYHTING'S a UFO 'til you identify it. Hence the name. If I don't see the rock you lob at me hit the back of my head, then I was hit in the back of the head by a UFO.
• Like a cosmic bullhorn. "You kids, get offa our lawn!" Also, Monkeyfilter: Like a Cosmic Bullhorn
• What if the aliens were just cool pranksters? Like what if one came down and said, hey i'm really God and then get all the people to fight and people would get hit on the head and stuff which would be really funny. But then what if the alien got accidentally killed before he had a chance to say "Hey you guys, i was just kidding!". What would happen then? I don't know.
• I made a great comment about three-boobed aliens and it got deleted. Tracicle is hurting Monkeyfilter.
• the differences in our biologies are likely to be so vast as to preclude them being able to assimilate us Resistance is futile! /the plasma related fields made me do it
• Plasmas
• Wow. This is really getting strange. I don't post this post until tomorrow, after the thread gets eeked for too many three-boobed alien pictures.
• Sure, but we all know about Torchwood.
• “The close proximity of plasma related fields can adversely affect a vehicle or person," states the report.” Um, why does that bother me far more than any flying saucer evidence would? I mean the report should be titled: Random atmospheric plasma fields can short circuit your brain! AAAAAAHHHH!!!! hmm...maybe the tinfoil hat folks were on to something in the first place. It’s not mind control they were worried about. It’s plasma fields. Aliens are the least of our worries. All you have to do when they land is hit them with a pie in the face. Once that happens, anything they do can be attributed to them not being able to take a joke. If they’re ok with it, then fine we’re all friends. If not... Human: “This was all because of the pie in the face thing, wasn’t it?” Alien: “No, we were planning to invade you from the start.” Human: “Sure you were.” Alien: “WE WERE! We had loads of plans. We left our planet for the sole purpose of invading you! Just ask Grzzntnzxxr!” Human: “You guys really just can’t take a joke, can you.” *aliens, exasperated, leave the planet to prove the ycan take a joke* That plus all the old gags would work. The old ‘look you have a spot on your shirt, flick the nose’ gag. The phantom shoulder tap. The ‘disconnect your thumb’ trick. Hell, we could even ask them why the chicken crossed the road.
• Yeah, but the nose gag won't work. Most if not all Reticulans don't have noses. Neither do the Greys. Mind you, the Pascagoula monsters are ALL nose, they have three of them. But no eyes.
• jb wins!
• The report, which was completed in 2000 and stamped "Secret: UK Eyes Only" We have this level of secret in the US too, although it's called For American Eyes Only, obviously (it might be called For US Eyes Only, I can't recall for sure which). Its the lowest level of secrecy in the heirarchy. It doesn't actually prevent non-Usians from learning the "secret", just like UK Eyes Only didn't stop me from learning the UK "secret". It seems that the level of secrecy classification exists for when you want info disseminated, but you still want a secrecy classification attached to it so that it feels like it's "secret" info.
• What I really hate is when somebody in the thread farts and you all giggle and blame it on aliens. Grow up already.