of no fixed subtitle
April 30, 2006
More about bananananas.
I never did know when to stop. Wait and ye shall hear/see.
16 years ago
I honestly thought someone posted the "atheist's nightmare" video here before, but I'm probably confused again.
All well and good, but can god make a banana so big that she/he cannot lift it? Hmmm?
A coconuts dream is the sweaty night of pineapples everywhere.
This video is only true if you are right handed. If you are left handed, the banana curves away from your face - proof that God hates you. Left = sinestral = sinister = evil. Right = dextral = the name for dextrose = the specific isomer of glucose sugar we burn for fuel = life itself is right-handed. Thus, once again, God hates you. Bananas are proof.
Oh, damn! It's my worst nightmare! Come to life! Way worse than bird flu, ebola, nuclear weapons, or even getting randomly pooped-upon by a passing seagull (which is difficult - I don't live near a coast). Perhaps someone should point out that a banana is also approximately the same size as a sex toy. Let's see them explain that!
Oh, what a banana MacAllister had, Way down in Havana when I was a lad. So firm and so yellow, it gleamed like a jewel; He showed it to fellows who hung 'round the pool. And not just bananas was this man possessed of, But grapes and sultanas, which he had the best of, But the jewel by far in MacAllister's crown, And the shiniest star in his heaven, hands down, Was this beautiful fruit, sweet and golden and ripe, In its peelaway suit. It was perfect- no hype! We followed old Mac with a dogged obsession In hopes of a snack from his fruity possession. We searched, with no boot, for the rest of the bunch Of this fabulous fruit, but he'd et 'em for lunch. MacAllister taunted us, laughing in scorn; The banana, it haunted us, evening and morn. We conspired to nab it; we plotted to steal it. Before we could grab it, he started to...
it! He ate it quite slowly and laughed in our faces. We cried, "Holey Moley!" and packed up our cases. With hands in our pockets, we left fair Havana, And all 'cause that Jock et that wond'rous banana.
*applauds tum. proffers many bananas.*