April 20, 2006

To cell or not to cell ! All one requires is a cell phone which has numbers of a size one might see without the aid of ocular assistance, and that one may switch on to make and recieve 'phone calls. Add that it should be of a size which will not slide into miniscule areas of furniture thus requiring that one delve into the depths of same with surgical tongs in a vain attempt to extract the accursed device. Do others have a similar frustration?
posted by jeraboam 18 years ago
  • Uh, what? You want a cellphone? You're complaining about cellphones? Your posts are kind of...incomprehensible. Is this a Curious, George? Or just a link to a generic article about cellphones? Hope me.
  • Newsflash: portable phones exist! And, there are many to choose from!
  • It's a hoax.
  • The array of price plans, contracts, options, add-ons, phone models, restrictions and so on is indeed bewildering. I don't use my cell phone often but I like to have one around for when it is needed. I'm not interested in text messaging, uniquely annoying ringtones, crappy built-in cameras or other nonsense - just give me a cheap, reliable phone at a reasonable cost. After my last contract expired I bought a pay-as-you go phone from Virgin Mobile and I'm quite happy with it. The phone cost about $60.00, it sounds ok, coverage is good and I only pay for the minutes I use. So far it's costing less than $20.00 per month. Not sure if Virgin operates where you are but they're worth a look if they do.
  • I just carry 2 empty tin cans joined by string around with me. Seems to do the trick.
  • The wife suggests that a redefinition of miniscule areas of furniture and an judicious application of languages with rolling "R"s may obviate both surgical tongs and accused devii. You may find a friend.
  • It's only confusing if you try to evaluate each item on its own merits. When you realize that they're all the same, it becomes much easier. 1. Pick a carrier. It doesn't matter. They're all the same. Cingular and T-Mobile are the biggest ones at the moment, which means they have the best infrastructure. (Infrastructure is good, it keeps your calls from being dropped.) 2. Order service from their website. DO NOT speak to someone in person. They will add a bunch of crap to your plan that you don't want, and then you'll have to phone them in a month to have it all taken off. 3. Pick the cheapest plan, and the free phone. If you sign a contract, they will give you a free phone. I promise. It will be sturdy, reliable, and moderately unattractive, with very few features - which is exactly what you want in a phone. 4. When your phone arrives, keep the user's manual in a central location. You will need it. Particularly the first three pages (the real ones, which start after the five pages of how you shouldn't take it into the bath with you). These first three pages will have diagrams of various areas of your phone, and helpful arrows which explain what all the funny little symbols mean, and what that blinking red light is for. The manual will also tell you how to turn the phone off and on, which is typically accomplished by pushing the last button you would have guessed would do the job. 5. Keep it on, and carry it with you everywhere. Know the phone. Love the phone. You will realize that it is insanely convenient to have a telephone which is always at hand. This may seem incomprehensible to you now, but after a month of having it always in your pocket, you will find it to be true.
  • islander, text messaging is GREAT! As a coworker once put it, "Text messaging lets me keep in touch with the ladies, without actually having to talk to them." SMS essentially gives you the ability to send people very small emails when you're stuck in traffic. Best thing ever.
  • What tracicle said. What's the point here?
  • The point is to see if one can inspire a reader to employ the term "the wife", thus starting fish tick's day off with a hearty bout of molar-grinding.
  • I think the poster wants a BIG CELL PHONE, RIGHT GRAMPS? Looking up these sorts of things online is useless; you're going to have to go into stores or a mall with lots of cell kiosks and look at models that suit your preferences. If anyone asks you, tell them it's for an elderly relative of your choosing; this should keep them off your backs for flashy doo-dads.
  • You're weird, dude.
  • And Satriani still sucks.
  • Any free or cheap phone will be chunky. You pay for the smallness. Five phone calls into using said chunky phone and you'll have the button positions memorized and not need reading glasses to see them. Your real concern should be the display and how big the characters are on it. The buttons will stay in the same position forever, but the display will constantly change.
  • Any free or cheap phone will be chunky. I don't think that's true anymore. I've seen some very cheap phones that were miniscule. Just fewer features.
  • It's a hoax. No it's not. It's a conspiracy. (At least, that's what the wife thinks.) But you believe what you want to believe.
  • For Canadians who use their phones across the border, it may pay off to go to a US provider with a good roaming plan. One person in my office crunched numbers and switched.
  • *sends virtual wedgie to HW*
  • There is a phone specifically marketed to the elderly with a big display and big buttons and few flashy features. I know I've seen it, but I have no clue who makes it.
  • The fingers you have used to dial, are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad now.
  • Linky!
  • *sends virtual wedgie to HW* hey, that's what i'm here for
  • What Jeraboam want seems quite simply to be a cell-PHONE! NOT a cell camera, NOT a cell MP3 player, NOT a cell gaming device, NOT a cell alarmclock or anything like that....just a plain and simple phone that can be utilized for communication by use of the human voice and ear, nothing more, nothing less! NO bells and whistles, NO added features, NO smart gimmicks.! Is that really too much to ask?
  • Arrhh, to cell with it!
  • What a phoney!
  • My car came with cruise control. I never use cruise control. It seems weird and somehow unsafe. So I don't use it. I just don't push that button. One person's useless doodad is another person's must-have feature. You're always free to simply not use the doodad.
  • I just googled "simple cell-phone" and found this blog (which is NOT mine, nor do I have any connection to the author). http://www.salas.com/weblogs/archives/000870.php Yes, I have no idea how to insert links the normal way.
  • I was having a rant about cell phones last night. I just purchased a cheep cell phone for the first time (never used a cell phone for more than one call before) and the button placement on this is horrible. SO I checked some random cell phone websites listing review and "the best" and they ALL use the same damned buttons. A "star" of Up, Down, Left, Right and a center Action button. Plus a left and right shoulder button, a Clear/Cancel button and one button to "pick up the receiver" and one to "hang up/turn off" Why does EVERY SINGLE phone I see have TWO Left and TWO Right buttons!? Couldn't the existing Left and Right buttons be programmed to do the same things as the extra Left and Right buttons do? Why do I need TWO buttons to activate and deactive the call!? Shouldn't there be ONE button that will answer the phone if it rings, and then hang up the phone if it is activly on a call? Why the Clear button? Can't Up or Down button function as the Clear? I guess what I really want is some version of the interface on my Ipod to be the navigation system on my cell phone. A smaller version of the clickwheel above the number keys. If the phone rings, I press the center Action button, if I want to hang up the phone I press the same button, because those actions are the most likely wanted at that moment. If there is no call, but I have typed a number in, then the action button will dial it for me. If none of the above, then it would be the enter button for the menu on the screen. Pressing UP give me the menu of choices, pressing Down would cancel the most recent item or holding it would turn off the phone, left and right would bring up the phone book, and some other choice, selectable in the menu by you. GRRRR. I HATE BAD DESIGN. Especially when it is not isolated, but throughout a whole product category.
  • Gratitudinous salutations Ladyknight. The A101K from Kyocera is for me! It remains beyond one's comprehension as to why those of us who prefer simplicity of function are considered to be cretinous "technophobes" when in fact 'form follows function' remains an efficent directive. For instance, a circumstance may arise in which one is working in the back-of-beyond, with heat to 40 degrees (C)++ "in the waterbag" while a dust-storm fills one's eyes with grit. A necessity to read page 303 of 1,000 in the cell phone manual in a vain attempt to discover what one must do to get the thing to function is not a happy option. And Tracicle, one has something of a facetious sense of humour, oft labelled "eccentric" in truth! In short, one is in training for a future role of "pompous-ass Colonel Blimp-ness." Add that an old friend is a well known member of 'The Handlebar Club' and similarly a practising "silly ass" may further elucidate. heh .. One posts with genuine interest in both the subject matter, and very much so in the opinion of "The MoFI" ..
  • That's great, jereboam, but one prefers a little comprehension in one's posts, in order that one may actually be able to give a relevant opinion. Kyocera do make very basic and cheap phones. Two of my sisters have had Kyoceras and were very happy with them, until they decided they actually needed all the gadgets. Make sure you can buy a good clear cover for your phone to keep the dust out of its orifices, too.
  • MonkeyFilter: keep the dust out of its orifices
  • Glad you liked it.