April 06, 2006

Jessica Alba says she was coerced into kissing a monkey. She hated it.
posted by f8xmulder 18 years ago
  • Ha! That's not what she said at the moment! *cough* "I think monkeys should be left in trees." Why, you cocky apeist, you.
  • "When I had to do it again and she grabbed both of my ears and screamed in my face and showed me all of her teeth. I thought she was going to bite my face off." Well what d'ya expect after a double self-post?!
  • well, maybe if she kissed this monkey....
  • I suspect she's right and most monkeys would prefer to be left in the trees. However, this monkey would like a kiss.
  • She's not all that.
  • No good in the sack.
  • How is she with Sloths?
  • People, people -- we're missing the important detail -- this was a lesbian interspecies kiss! Lesbian! Girl on girl-monkey! WITH a bonus catfight! Sweet Mothra... This thread is useless without pics!
  • Kitfisto is correct. She's not all that.
  • I'd kiss Davy Jones.
  • *yawn* Wake me when a monkey pees in her mouth. zzzzZKkk. . hmmnumnn . . zzzzzzzzz
  • Sweet Mothra! There's a Mothra onthread! The Mothra? Dunno, but somebody better sweep the temple just in case, and put the porch light on...
  • *cough*sockpuppet*cough* The One True Mothra would never post in a Jessica Alba thread . . .
  • Katie Holmes only wishes it was just a monkey.
  • "coerced"? sounds to me like it was more like "asked," and she wanted that MTV spot so very, very badly that she did it. Stupid starlets.
  • I’d like Jessica Alba to kiss my monkey, if you know what I mean.
  • I’d like Jessica Alba to hate it, if you know what I mean.
  • I’d like to coerce Jessica Alba, if you know what I mean.
  • ...no, wait, scratch that last one...if you know what I mean
  • eh?
  • I'll bet the monkey is far more nonplussed than that sad pile of celebritymeat.
  • Jessica Alba NAKED [pic + music] nsfw
  • I hate you.
  • I expect payment of my dry cleaning bill ASAP, rx. Shhez, and I don't even like that Alba girl...
  • I am always correct. Get used to it.
  • rxreed, you better stay far away from oakland if you desire any sort of serious life expectancy....
  • Hmm, I'm suddenly in the mood for Evil Dead II.