April 02, 2006

Snakes in a car! - A man crashes his car after a snake, a snake in the car, began attacking him. News at 11.
posted by Chyren 18 years ago
  • That's it! I've had enough of these snakes!
  • hold now your forked tongues, forbear to hiss ye snakes unfurling, now hear this! not every entrance brings us bliss long may your mottled coils untangle somewhere in far fields or jungle but know that you're unwelcome here: dipping in my whisky, swallowing my beer while swan-diving in my plate of stew makes me think evil thoughts of you
  • I see that the article date is "march 30" but the close proximity of "<
  • Let's get back to badgers.
  • MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!!!!
  • the mushroom is the snake of the vegetable kingdom! /cackles maniacally
  • Mushroom is not a vegetable. It is a fun guy.
  • A mushroom is not a snake either, if you want to get picky.
  • Not so much being picky as prosaic. /and lo! the mists of metaphor lapped about his ankles
  • Sounds like mixed metaphoria to moi.
  • Snakes don't need prozac. Dramamine for the plane, perhaps. But never prozac.
  • Surely there's a joke in here somewhere about bi-polar snakes?
  • As a younger man, there always was an attacking snake in my car. It sounds dirty because it is
  • Snakes never attack unless threatened. The man must have said something to provoke the snake.
  • I for one am sick of these mother f*&%ers trying to take over the world. Where the hell is the Pied Piper when you need him?
  • Don't you mean St Patrick?
  • That sucker took away all the mice. That's why the snakes got all hungry and are attacking.
  • Oh, yeah. But if all the mice were gone, there'd be nothing for snakes to eat, right? Sorry, my anger at this obvious world takeover by snakes got in the way of my usually clear and brilliant thinking.
  • There might be an upside to the world being taken over by snakes. Let's say they somehow manage to land the motherfucking plane. I mean after all, if Osama's boys can learn, it must not be that difficult. So, the plane lands at LAX and they immediately take over the general Arrivals platform. Then the rest of the airport, then LA, then California, the US, North America, Central America and South America. Then, using their newfound piloting skills, they take off for Europe, the land of Chyren, and so forth. Pretty soon, the whole world is theirs. We all are subservient to our Supreme Snake Overlords, and we become the third most dominant species on the planet (somewhere in this we get passed by the zebras which, frankly, we just didn't see coming). A few years pass. Then the Alien Space People arrive in a massive armada of sausage-shaped spacecraft. Ironically, this happens on the Fourth of July. They asked to be taken to our (the snakes) leader. And they are! The Alien Space People, however, are not here to negotiate a treaty, they are here to wipe out the dominant race of the planet Earth and bring an end to civilization. So, they kill most of the snakes, take the remaining snakes back to their home planet for painful experimentation and torture, and we get a pretty big chuckle over this, as we're now rid of the snakes and have only the zebras to contend with, which should be pretty easy when you think about it. I mean, zebras are pretty fast, but they just can't change clips on an AK-47 without becoming all hooves and things. So, you see, Lara? There's nothing to be upset about. Except maybe zebras.
  • Let's say they somehow manage to land the motherfucking plane. I mean after all, if Osama's boys can learn, it must not be that difficult. I find the use of "land the motherfucking plane" here a wee bit motherfucking liberal.
  • Pretty soon, the whole world is theirs. We all are subservient to our Supreme Snake Overlords, and we become the third most dominant species on the planet (somewhere in this we get passed by the zebras which, frankly, we just didn't see coming). Knowing is half the battle! Snakes on a plane! Incidentally, is GI Joe and The V a take off of David Icke's theories or vice versa? I'd figure that whole 'knowing is half the battle' definately fuelled a lot of conspiracy theorist militia groups.
  • Oh dear, linking to a tripod image. *sighs, shakes head*
  • What? Cobra commander has won...
  • ...Snakes on a plane.
  • "is GI Joe and The V a take off of David Icke's theories or vice versa?" Icke was still a BBC football commentator when V & GI Joe went to air.