March 26, 2006

• Something tells me we're going to see a lot of quidnunc in this thread.
• Oh sure give him the big head. I would have to search for awhile, but it would be some of our poet lariat's work. Possibly from the sock/bear/other sock/sloth/bashi thread.
• from Chuck Norris has a bigger brother: Werzog is as Werzog does, and yes, Werzog has done much. He spent last Christmas opening successive cans of Nonesuch. He emptied them between his jaws an 'twere a contact sport; He rinsed the cans and used them all to build a Yuletide fort. And oh, what larks and revels did that wobbly structure see! He did the Caked-With-Mincemeat Dance and set the lobsters free! His Christmas tree was hung with clods of flour-and-water paste, And marrow bones, and chanterelles, and seasoning to taste. And underneath the savory and slightly dripping boughs Was all the filmy lingerie he'd wrapped up for the cows. And then he melted on the couch in lush midwinter lethargy. (The cows, who wanted rollerblades, were burning him in effigy.) posted by The Underpants Monster
• No time to repost and clap Your hands to a monkey's best rap? So many to read So many that need Just a hug and a "thank-you!" How's that?
• Many of the taglines were created to acknowledge these fine Monkey moments.
• well I thought this thread was a great idea, but then again no one ever comments in my FPPs either....*sigh*
• It's GramMa fault; she scared everybody with her stern comment. Ohooh, she's gonna get mad. I'm all gossebumpy...
• I just have a poor memory for who said what, when.
• I remember this one time I said something pretty great. But it was at this one party, and I was kind of drunk. And I'm pretty sure I only said it inside my head. But it was pretty funny. I think.
• It's a great idea, and it will probably pick up over time. The problem is not only remembering great things people said, but in which threads they said them.
• I can't remember what I had For supper Tuesday last; I can't recall the elements Of any one repast. I can't remember where I put The super-secret codes To keep the world from blowing up, When my device explodes. l can't remember Granny's cure For rampant Injun Burn, And Brian's coming over, so that's Cause for some concern. I don't recall, oh, wait - that's right. I guess I really do. It just is not the sort of thing I should be telling you.
• My oeuvre includes remarks that might delight, or might appall; I try to think of one, and hear my mental engine stall. I ought to be in politics for all I can't recall.
• I nominate every single instance of .
• buy me a pony by Skrik
• from the same thread, but better: Don't send it to the IRA! They torture kittens. Buy me a pony. by Skrik
• The funniest comments for me are the ones where the monkeys riff off each other and they get on a roll. So for example the thread last week where that dude did or did not spam-post the link to that Russian jerk-site and then there was a flood of posts that went vitriol on his ass, combined with a bunch of fake legal "your honor" speeches, verse and miscellaneous boobery. It was a total hootsky. No wait, it's not just an example! It is the funniest thread of ALL TIME ! It's got poutine, it's got ketchips, it's got quidnunc, it's got autoclaving and baby germs, it's got c in verse, it's got tracicle. It's got Latin! It's got Robbie Baairns!
• Flags, that wasn't meant as a stern comment, it was to acknowledge that many of the Monkey quips should be preserved for posteriority! I'm all gossebumpy... **begins to flog Flags with an anti-gosse bumper.
• Oh, thanks... more to the leeeeft, pleeease...
• I flogged a pregnant woman this weekend...
• you know medusa, we really need to hang out. we're what, a mile and a half away from each other?
• *goes to sleep with fantasies of Medusa flogging some cheese*
• Wary of the trap of explaning a joke, I nevertheless want to gush about the following because I enjoyed them so much. Nickdanger: god and Dracula On one hand, this is a humorous restatement of theology’s "problem of evil," with the confrontational sting taken out by placing a fictional character in the role of "evil". "Oh Nickdanger, you silly! Dracula doesn’t exist!" The obvious beauty of the remark is to remind the atheist that (for her or him) talking about god is talking about a character precisely as fictional as Dracula; it borrows the form of a syllogism to express an artistic truth (that is, the equivalence, in terms of their "reality", of fictional characters) – and thus it trumps a logical form with a form of literature. You can imagine the ongoing argument from this tiny sentence: "Oh, Dracula doesn’t exist? Well, what about the Wolfman? Oh – really? Well what about Zombies? Wait – them too? Well, what about the Blob? Uh-huh? What about ..." The incredible fecundity of this remark reveals a world in which the atheist is not expected to provide proofs for the non-existence of god: the theist, rather, is expected to provide endless arguments against the existence of B-grade horror-movie monsters. It is a masterpiece in brevity. Middleclasstool: for butter or for worse A feature of many Monkeyfilter discussions is that people will adopt a mode of expression specifically for that thread, that day, or that topic: they pick up and discard narrative voices merely for the fun it provides, ad hoc. Here middleclass is using both the straight commentary text form as well as *stage direction* convention to become a character immediately recognisable to us all. He combines constant beautiful invention of hand-movements, lame jokes, etc, to go on at this over a number of comments: the execution here is (IMHO) quite fantastic, middleclass becomes – quite suddenly, just for jolly – a sit-com character, the so-unfunny-he’s-funny jester. It’s comedy that is ultimately joyful because he is ostensibly making fun of himself, but there is (it’s unavoidable!) the suggestion that anyone trying to be comedic in MoFi is, similarly, being a dick. There are many examples of people adopting a hilarious, idiosyncratic narrative voice just for one thread: this one is so perfectly realised that it deserves to be considered a glorious paradigm. Bernockle: owl semen Bernockle, IMHO, has mastery of a beautiful tone, utterly original, just one step away from the seemingly mundane but (therefore) always suggesting a whole universe of surrealist possibilities. Owl semen is funny not because of the crude humour of sperm, it’s funny because no-one ever really thinks about birds having semen at all. The juxtaposition works particularly well because it is incredibly difficult to imagine an owl in the throes of orgasm as they look (oh anthropomorphism!) constantly pissed off. More fundamentally, it augments the base (a semen joke) with the amazingly, specifically bizarre: why owls, for god’s sake? Similarly this comment: the fourth most unusual erection I have ever had - middleclasstool has already pointed this out in a previous thread. Comments such as these transform the obscene into the sublime, lead into gold. There are many more by many others, but those were three more-or-less recent favourites.
• I had no idea I was that deep. And here I thought I was just some idiot who wanted attention.
• Actually, I thought he was riffing on kitfisto from the Pandacam thread in that one. Not that he doesn't have tonnes of gems. We've read about them before.
• Then kudos to kitfisto too!
• es el queso, I couldn't agree more, and I have labored very hard not to hate you for failing to make the last few monkeymeetups. I like to imagine that if we'd conspired, we too could earn a place in quid's hall of fame and have our sayings analysed and elaborated upon.... do I dream in vain?
• I think this comment needs to be immortalized: Nickdanger: god and Dracula On one hand, this is a humorous restatement of theology’s "problem of evil," with the confrontational sting taken out by placing a fictional character in the role of "evil". "Oh Nickdanger, you silly! Dracula doesn’t exist!" The obvious beauty of the remark is to remind the atheist that (for her or him) talking about god is talking about a character precisely as fictional as Dracula; it borrows the form of a syllogism to express an artistic truth (that is, the equivalence, in terms of their "reality", of fictional characters) – and thus it trumps a logical form with a form of literature. You can imagine the ongoing argument from this tiny sentence: "Oh, Dracula doesn’t exist? Well, what about the Wolfman? Oh – really? Well what about Zombies? Wait – them too? Well, what about the Blob? Uh-huh? What about ..." The incredible fecundity of this remark reveals a world in which the atheist is not expected to provide proofs for the non-existence of god: the theist, rather, is expected to provide endless arguments against the existence of B-grade horror-movie monsters. It is a masterpiece in brevity. the quidnunc kid
• Actually, all comments talking about how great something I said belong in this comment museum. All? I mean... er... the one.
• Quidnunc yo is a genius.
• True 'dat. But I also wanna give mad props to tha Fr33kay Linkah, MC URizzL H-dogg fo' all tha phat articles an' thr34d Bumpin'.
• Who you callin' phat?
• In my mind, I always pronouce that "PEE-hat."
• *gets even madder*
• does this thread make StoryBored look like a pee hat?
• Awwww not on the haaaat! awwww . . . sheez I just washed this hat
• Now you've been peeing in your HAT? What happened to your party friend?
• no! I peed in StoryBored's hat, that's why s/he(??) is mad...
• that's why s/he(??)... To resolve the question of my gender, let me say that i could pee into your hat from here.
• MonkeyFilter: And here I thought I was just some idiot who wanted attention. Gold, my friends. Just pure gold.
• ...usually, but not always, the color changes depending on what i drink.
• not to mention the delightful eau d'sparagus.
• Great. Just great. We start off talking about fine moments in Monkeydom, and now we're on about the color and scent of piss. Urine a lot of trouble, people.
• a pee-rail?? *ducks*
• Get over it. Justify your micturation however you please.
• "Did you mean: micturition?" --Google.
• The noun form of micturate is micturition? What a stupid language.
• Oh sure, piss all over our native tongue, why'ncha
• Oscar Wilde for $400. And the answer is: "Your Majesty is like a shaft of gold while all around is dark"
• It sodding was not, it was Shaw!
• It's gold Jerry, GOLD!
• 1. Monkey encores. 2. Urine sights and smells. 3. Seinfeld quotes There are bozos on this bus.
• Gravy with that?
• I'm going to poutine I never heard that...
• There are bozos on this bus. Put down that pickle.
• *honk* /doffs_cap
• MonkeyFilter: There are bozos on this bus. **licks index finger, makes marking motion in air One for RalphTheDog!
• Ureter for us or against us!
• I couldv'e done wizz out that one.
• you kids just tinkle me pink!