March 17, 2006

He wanted twenty-two bucks for it, but I talked him down to seventeen...
posted by Capt. Renault 18 years ago
  • I thought you were meant to knock the policeman's helmet off...
  • Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday... But his hand rejected it! Eh? Eh? Fine. Be that way.
  • It's a fair cock.
  • How much you wanna bet that the newbie-est rookie cop was the one who had to pick it up from the sidewalk?
  • Capt. - is that a line from King Missile? 'Cause I just heard "Detachable Penis" on the radio yesterday, for the first time since like 1992 or so. Weird coincidence...
  • That was the intent, yes. Haven't heard it in years. Almost as beloved as the Toast song.
  • I loved the toast song!!! It was Paul Young, wasn't it?
  • When the interrogated him, they gave him the 72nd degree.
  • What the story doesn't tell you is that the police assaulted him. He was really just a naked knife juggler who was really bad. So when the police thought he was throwing knives at him he was only trying to impress them. His name, even if they mentioned something else, was Emelio. Emilio "the nakey knife juggler" Swanson-McGladville. They won't print the truth, no matter how many times I ask them.
  • Yeah, but I don't 'alf like toast.
  • Who knew I was in posession of a projectile so much more intimidating, I could stun the entire Chicago PD simply by throwing it near them. To hell with Ninja Stars!
  • TOAST! Man, I havn't heard that in years! Thanks Capt.!
  • I heard that the police were acting on a tip-off
  • That's some serious stamina. Cuts off penis, walks out and throws knives and penis at cops, then goes back inside for more knives, comes back out and gets stunned, then fights the cops during restraint.
  • He'd do pretty well in the tour de france.
  • This didn't sound like the real deal until I read the article. I wonder if the guy was on any medication. Or maybe he couldn't get his girlfriend off so he took it out on his penis.