February 24, 2004

• On a similar note, but of a different kind.
• I find writing tips (especially these) very thought provoking. I think people who want to be serious about writing really do need to think about what they're doing. For creative writing though, rules were meant to be broken. I bet a good writer could break every single one of the rules in Mr. Leonard's article and turn out a fine piece of writing. (see: David Foster Wallace, Jonathan Frazen, et al.)
• For creative writing though, rules were meant to be broken. I bet a good writer could break every single one of the rules in Mr. Leonard's article and turn out a fine piece of writing. Aye. Yet the proverbial good writer breaks rules to knowningly capture whatever he is looking for. Many of the points brought up in pyrrthon1's and Gyan's links are for people who don't know that breaking those rules, unless carefully crafted, often weaken writing something fierce.
• Yeah. That's why I said that I think people who want to be serious about writing really need to think about what they're doing. I just wanted to point out that part of being a good writer is not about blindly following rules, it's about knowing how and when to break them.
• What the hell is #5 about?!!!!?!!!!!
• It reminds me of a guy who once skewered my writing on a website. He called it monkeypoo. Why? I don't know...he didn't critique it. I Googled his email address and found his website chock full of cliched writing. I didn't bother writing to him. Sadly, I know that would've dismissed my critique of "My heart is stone" and "I feel a black void inside" because he believes I cannot write. Possibly, he might have also seen it as a personal vendetta. I felt bad for him. Hopefully he'll find that slinging bananas is much more fruitful.
• naxosaxur, criminy! Two question marks? Jeebus!
• As a journalist, I try to keep away from everything except '(s)he said', but often end up with ten paragraphs that all end with a variation of 'said': he said, she said, Mr Bush said, said Mr Bush, and so on. And then there's the whole issue of implied doubt in other attributations such as 'claimed' and 'according to.'
• "And I was all, And she was like, And then I'm all like ..."
• Also as a journalist, I'm not entirely literate all the time. What I meant there was 'attributions'. I will stop making up words now.
• "It's too hot out, ya'll!" she exclaimed loudly in her sun dress that no longer had the original buttons. The buttons were brown instead of green and looked like beady little eyes. *BEADY EYES*
• See? That's my point right there. Brilliant. Utterly brilliant.
• Dawson, don't apologize. You're just kickin' it U.S.-President-style.
• we yank journalists are bound by something called Associated Press Style. add to that the various stylebooks of each newspaper, and, technically, we're pretty much required to write a certain way. that serves a purpose, however: readers can pick up any newspaper and it will (or should, at least) be consistent with any other. ease of reading and all that.
• "It was a dark and stormy night," Ben exposited swiftly.
• What do the poor academic writers do? You can't ever use said, because it isn't said, but written. I constantly find myself using "As Soandso notes," "as X has suggested". I don't like "writes," ecause I'm usually not referring to whole passages, as "writes" seems to imply, but to off hand comments and facts, etc. Or maybe it is that "writes" sounds too humanistic for a social science wanna be like me. argh - it's frustrating. I just really want to say "as soandso communicates briefly in squiggly black characters on bleached pulped wood product."
• My approach in writing is to try to learn all the rules, and when the situation is appropriate to break one (or more) of them, do so consciously and deliberately. (Although I even break that rule way too often)
• I find in academic writing, "argues" suffices quite nicely when there is a firm stance. Ben argues, "It was a dark and stormy night." Kimberly argues, "And I was all, And she was like, And then I'm all like ..." Mmmm. Quite amusing.
• I like "implies", for all that it implies. Only problem is it goes better with paraphrasing. Ben implied that it was a dark and stormy night. Kimberly implied that she was all, like, y'know.
• Anybody else read Elmore? I've read maybe twenty of them. Great stuff. Fast, punchy and funny. You can punch holes in brick walls with the dialogue.
• My high school newspaper, the haunt of most of the smart people in any given class (though I opted for lit mag), brought on a habit in many otherwise-rational people of preferring "stated" to "said". It takes the world's worst ear to language not to realize that "stated" is the most inappropriate verb possible for normal everyday communication. Some teacher in years past had told the staff to diversify their verbs, I imagine, and they took "said", eliminated it, tried to never reuse a verb in a single issue, realized that was a lot of work, and then re-standarized with "stated", which became the default verb. Ugh.
• stated the verb most often used in police reports. Along with observed and noted. Why do cops think police reports should sound like police reports? I know of no other occupation that has quite the amount of jargon that police work does. This officer observed the suspect vehicle in the westbound lane driving eastbound. This officer pursued the vehicle and activated the overhead lights on the cruiser. The vehicle pulled over. It should be noted that the suspect vehicle nearly struck the guard rail. I just attempted to rewrite that in normal english and couldn't do it. Can someone tell me how a normal person would write this?
• This officer observed the suspect vehicle in the westbound lane driving eastbound. This officer pursued the vehicle and activated the overhead lights on the cruiser. The vehicle pulled over. It should be noted that the suspect vehicle nearly struck the guard rail. I just attempted to rewrite that in normal english and couldn't do it. Can someone tell me how a normal person would write this? How about: I saw the car in the in the westbound lane, followed it, and turned on my overhead lights. They pulled over, and almost hit the guard rail. Ah...
• ...westbound lane, driving against traffic,...
• we yank journalists are bound by something called Associated Press Style. add to that the various stylebooks of each newspaper, and, technically, we're pretty much required to write a certain way. Someone forgot to tell George Will not to use those big words and obscure baseball references.
• Friend of mine has a dedicated copy of an Elmore: "Dear N
• There was this car going east, like, totally in the wrong lane! I was all like "Holy shit, Greg, look at that fucking car!" So I flashed my lights and wailed my sireny thing and he pulled over. He totally nearly hit the guardrail too.
• sullivan, george will is a *columnist.* big difference between that and, say, me, who's just a poor scribbler.
• It was a dark night, dark like my soul, and I was driving down the road, that seemingly endless road that I'd been travelling for the two years since she left me. Out of the corner of my eye, on the edge of my vision just above the half-empty bottle of cheap scotch on the dash, I saw The Car - the car that would change my life. Immediately I could tell something wasn't right - like a cheap hooker in a diamond necklace. "You crazy fool," I thought, "you're driving the wrong way!" Somewhere inside of me, a small voice said, "And haven't you been driving the wrong way too? Ever since she left..." Wearily, like a dog on a hot summer's night, I turned the car around. The harsh yodelling of the siren filled my ears again... reminding me of her voice. The lights cast cruel shadows on the roadside, dancing and flickering like memories. Memories that would never leave. He knew I was following him now, and he started to weave right and left like one of those street crazies you both despise and feel sorry for, and I thought with a start, "Watch out for the guard rail, for God's sake, watch out for the goddam guard rail!" He missed it by a fraction of a whisker, and started to slow, realising that he couldn't outrun me. As he pulled over, I thought to myself, no, you couldn't outrun me - just like I can't outrun my pain, no matter how hard I try, no matter how dangerously close to the guard rail of life I drive, I'll never escape that pain... not since she left...
• ..." flashboy added, hilariously.
• *laughs, falls off chair, hands over banana*
• The quidnunc kid got out of his car and exclaimed excitedly, "What's up with the weather yo? Why all the hilarious hooptedoodle uptalk about your pain? Has the dark night and 40% chance of rain got to ya? Damn weather peoples. They can't commit to whether it is going to rain or not. Jeepers, now that I think about it, this whole weather thing has got me down too. Hey, nice pants, flashboy."
• "They" have taken over my MIND!!!