March 08, 2006

• I found that both hilarious and very disconcerting. I'm forwarding it to everyone I know right now.
• Oh Don Piano!
• Our cat talks. And believe me, I am *not* an "animal" person (my wife is) and there is no doubt that cat can keep up a conversation. Keeps bringing up weaahreaahuah.
• See? Those books were right when they told you to put the cat outside first.
• Quit posting videos while I'm at work! My computer has no sound, dammit!
• The second last one I'm sure is an animatron. The motion is totally unnatural, and very few cats would tolerate their fur being rubbed backwards. If you listen, its first outburst is identical to its second. I love talking cats, though, even if they don't say anything I understand. One lame (literally, had a broken leg that never set properly) regularly yodelled to me in a raspy voice.
• You don't need sound - read their lips. Oh Long Johnson!
• My cats totally do stuff like that. And sometimes when they jump on the keyboard it makes words, too.
• KJJVhjjugcfuckoffquiddylkhlcl/ j x
• Monkeyfilter: Why I eyes ya, all the live long day. Stream of Conscienceness Poetry Cat made me cry tears of joy.
• KJJVhjjugcfuckoffquiddylkhlcl/ j x Meow?
• Naughty moggy!
• I'm pretty sure my cat told me to fuck off this morning. She really hates the Zantac. Then she sat with her back to me, making those flat ears.
• I like this cat more and more...
• ...making those flat ears Ah, yes - the rice paddy hat.
• Quit posting videos while I'm at work! My computer has no sound, dammit! Allright, you heard the lady people! No videos while she's at work! From now on, forward the funny ones to the secret thread and all pr0n to me via videophone at Wilshire 9-540.
• Allright, you heard the lady people! Hey, isn't this international ladypeople's day? If anybody's an international ladypeople, it's Koko!
• Siameseseseses do that talking thing a lot. It's like when they sit by the window looking out at the birds on the lawn, and their mouth does a kind of chattering motion - practising the kill-bite. My dog talks to me. He has a Scottish accent. Dundonian to be precise, despite being a Westie. I'll stop now.
• My cat could talk, but everything the little bastidge would say was a complete and utter lie. Me: "Who unrolled all this toilet paper??" Him: "Your mom - she came over here after you left for work and made all this mess. I tried to stop her, but I'm pretty sure she had a knife." Then he would look at me like I was an idiot, demand tuna, then insouciantly lick his own butt for awhile.
• OK...is that Paul Reiser, from "Mad About You", or what???
• Alnedra, if you are serious, I disagree about that cat being a fake. I know many cats, including one that my family owned, that had a love/hate relationship with being scratched that way right above its tail (most cats react in some extreme manner when you scritch them there). The ones with extreme reactions would usually make sort of weird sound and, the kicker, a few would do exactly what this cat does at the end: make a little licking motion in the air. So this cat is definitely real!
• I can't watch the video, because I'm at work (right on Koko! Power to the laboring masses!), but I can confirm that my blind cat talks incessantly. She'll respond to conversation in a completely conversational tone. And she makse weird clucking noises when she steals my powder brush. It's very cute.
• Don Piano made me laugh til I cried. thank you fish tick. thank you Long Don Piano Johnson!
• Alnedra, my cat does *exactly* the same thing as that cat in the video, and if you continue to scritch it, she will go crazy, start drooling, and lick your hand and make this crazy wookiee noise.
• Stop feeding her the jazz.
• The what?
• The jaiiazzz bay-bee! C'mown nah . . .
• Huh?
• SEMEN.
• She's never been in the navy.
• I'm confused. What's semen?
• Allow me to demonstrate. I'll need a car battery, an iPod, and the latest issue of "Make" magazine.
• What's semen? Something boys use to mark their territory.
• The what? The marijuana. Stop letting your cat eat the marijuana. Marijuana is for personal consumption, not feeding to your pets so that they will act silly. Stop abusing the marijuana.
• The moment someone told me 'if you keep scratching and petting the cat like that she's just gonna be horny all day' was the last time I touched someone's kitty. Specially male kitties.
• No horny pussy for you! Ha! you're all jealous!
• See also.
• Sausages!
• I don't give half a fuck for cats.
• A couple months back, our space-alien-in-a-cat-suit said "bless you" just after I sneezed. She also says, "What???" rather often, and has also said, "Okay!" I was the only one there for "Okay!" but path can vouch for the "Bless you." path was there at the time. Of course, she has an advantage over the two actual cats in the house, what with being an alien and all.
• If I ever (Mothra forbid) get another cat, I'm totally naming him Don Piano.
• Or Long Don Piano Johnson to give him his show name.
• "Kittens started happening." Grossout moment of the day: "The feces appeared to be at a depth of one inch to an estimated six inches against the far walls."
• Alexander Graham Bell, the inventer of the Telephone, was long interested in developing aids for the deaf, both helping them to hear, and helping the profoundly deaf to speak. Some of his early experiements in this area involved training his dog to make sounds approximating human speech.
• spay & neuter! spay & neuter- spay & neuter. quid first.
• Interesting Dreadnought - I didn't know that.
• Alnedra, if you are serious, I disagree about that cat being a fake. I know many cats, including one that my family owned, that had a love/hate relationship with being scratched that way right above its tail (most cats react in some extreme manner when you scritch them there). The ones with extreme reactions would usually make sort of weird sound and, the kicker, a few would do exactly what this cat does at the end: make a little licking motion in the air. So this cat is definitely real! See also this this thread on MeFi about "lick spots" and "ass buttons."
• I will not!
• mm, ass buttons...
• *boop!* *beep!* *beep!*
• gives a whole new meaning to "pressing the right buttons" for someone!!
• Mmh. This calls for hands-on experimentation. No, not on a cat, you preverts.
• Our Manx suffers from spina bifida ("a congenital cleft of the spinal column with hernial protrusion of the meninges and sometimes the spinal cord" according to Merriman Webster) and he has the same reaction to enthuiastic scritching at the rear of his spine as did the black and white cat. My interpretation of his vocalizations is that it hurts when you do that. As for the Don Piano stuff, seems pretty clear to me that he was trying to hock up a hair ball. The basso profundo voice and intermittant lip licking should be familiar to many owners of long-haired cats. Time to get out the paper towels and carpet cleaner. That having been said, his tone poem was pretty good.
• I have seen a few cats go crazy when I scritch them there, but this is the first time I've seen on do it sitting up. Exceedingly strange, indeed.
• "...seems pretty clear to me that he was trying to hock up a hair ball." No way. The animal was threatened by the proximity of the camera and was growling. That was a threat expression on its face.
• I thought hairball too, but then he had the flattened ears and huge eyes ... perhaps he felt threatened by the proximity of his hairball. Cats is funny.
• It looked to me like a look of "I'm trying to hock up a hairball, and you're cramming that damned camera in my face. I am both in the process of regurgitating and feeling generally threatened and pissed off by your Cecil B. DeMille impression". It was totally the "I'm gonna blow" sound. I'd know it anywhere. But the poem was funny as hell.
• Meh! I've got a cat that can sing opera.
• From now on, whenever my lil' snoots is gonna chuck, I'm going to shout, "no Don Piano!!"
• I think we have a new Like Zorro! Daisy May, draw up the papers, please.
• All the live-long day!
• I've got a cat that can sing opera. Does he sing "Deflate-a-mouse?"
• *doubles over, blinks* Argh!
• oh undie!! oh undie undie undie!!! that was good
• You know, it's still March 10th for many of us, so you have no excuse not to enter the cats-and-windows contest as made famous via Tracy's blog. Or at least to say how very, very much more impressive the ginger cat photo is than coriolisdave's lame attempt. Or don't.
• Yakking dawgs.