March 08, 2006

"I probably do need some help, but I don't know if this is the time or place for it." Some boldfaced text, and the general tone, NSFW. Unless you work in animal husbandry. Via Thesmokinggun.
posted by tennenho 18 years ago
  • So, Mr. Goats is a sheep farmer? Alan did not see LeRoy's gentiles Well, thank goodness for that, then.
  • He should have remained celibant.
  • He needs Jesus Plates!!!
  • Well, that is a cute looking lamb.
  • He should have used the Jesus plates to look, cos Jesus was a light unto the gentiles.
  • forwarded to fireman friend - awaiting comment seems he busy in the sheep district - I really don't want to know...................
  • Come on; that is one hot lamb, there.
  • mmmm given the mispelling in the statement in the other thread was that Jesus was a light unto the Gentiles or..... Shines a light on a whole different meaning really!
  • Oh, man. I don't know where to start with this one.
  • Mr Goats is apparently worried for the safety of his 13 year old daughter. Why is that? Does she look like a sheep? I'd like Goats to explain exactly how that happened.
  • No, she looks like a kid.
  • He couldn't pull the wool over his thighs.
  • He's just worried that LeRoy will switch from fucking sheep to fucking Goats.
  • I think Goates was afraid for his daughter because the neighbor knocked on the door before going to the corral. I think his impression was that the neighbor was going for the daughter but would accept the sheep as a substitute if she wasn't available. And that Sherriff needs to go back to Writing 101.
  • Jesus was a light unto the gentiles. Also, you know, lamb of God. I think Jesus needs to be careful.
  • He knocked on her door, and she wouldn't answer... So, essentially, he fucked the lamb because the daughter was sheepish? A little baashful?
  • ... and from then on, every time someone called that sheep, it would get a disgusted look on its face and ask: "Why? Are you going to try and fuck me again?"
  • "Nope. We'll be fine with just a blow-job today!"
  • "Why? Are you going to try and fuck me again?" The sheep would be voiced by Joe Pesci.
  • "Nope. We'll be fine with just a blow-job today!" A little peanut butter on the business, then?
  • You seem to speak from experience.
  • I'd hit it. Callipygian thing like that? C'mon. Little pair of black garters... "How could you?" "This is Mrs. Bencours, one of my patients. She thinks she's a sheep."
  • Who's a baaaaaaaad boy? A really baaaaaaaaaad boy?
  • Ewe.
  • Be glad I didn't post my joke about basting lamb chops.
  • hmmm I've had lamb twice in the past week...for dinner that is!
  • (Psst! Medusa eats sheep! She's a mutton-muncher! Pass it on!)
  • and they were deeee-lish-us!!
  • Monkeyfilter:...for dinner that is!
  • Yeah, like I'm supposed to believe that "baa" means "baa." WOOLEN WHORE.
  • Not Monkeyfilter: they were deeee-lish-us!! What do I know..?
  • woolen whore oh yes!
  • This is a classic case of when sayin' nuthin' would have been way better than saying, say "You caught me Alan, I tried to fuck your sheep." He could have come up with any number of bizarre explanations, ie; "Geez, I noticed the lamb was not breathing, ran to your house for help, nobody was home, so I took it in the barn to give it mouth to mouth. It revived, and, being completely hammered, I decided to take a piss in your barn. At that very moment the lamb collapsed and I was assessing its medical condition immediately, fearing if I didn't help within seconds, it might die. All my training overode any worries I had about my pants!". Since nobody wants to think an upstanding deputy chief with the Mesa Fire Department is a lamb fucker, people would have been happy to accept his story. Mind you, I doubt they'd let him near the livestock again...
  • My wife e-mailed me a bulletin she got from the police the other day. Seems a man was arrested at the local zoo trying to shove a sheep into the backseat of his car. What the police report said (that the story doesn't) is that the cops found a purple bathrobe, one of those starter logs for fireplaces, a cigarette lighter, and a mostly empty bottle of Boone's Farm "wine" at the scene.
  • He could have come up with any number of bizarre explanations, ie; "Geez, I noticed the lamb was not breathing, ran to your house for help, nobody was home, so I took it in the barn to give it mouth to mouth. It revived, and, being completely hammered, I decided to take a piss in your barn. At that very moment the lamb collapsed and I was assessing its medical condition immediately, fearing if I didn't help within seconds, it might die. All my training overode any worries I had about my pants!". It really worries me how well you've thought this through. Between you and tennenho, I'm beginning to think we should rename the site Sheepfuckerfilter.
  • we should rename the site Sheepfuckerfilter Whoa...you mean this isn't Sheepfuckerfilter? Boy, is my face red!
  • So is that poor sheep's ass.
  • Since it's not here already, a little something in this thread for the ladies...
  • Ha ha! You picked an ugly one!
  • So, Ralph, that link..SFW?
  • Lara, the intro page is, afterwards you're on your own. And, no.
  • SheepFuckerFilter: Ha ha! You picked an ugly one!
  • Just the kind of pleasant post that brings out the best in us. *GramMa sighs.*
  • Hey , it's all tennenho's fault, don't look at me.
  • Sure...just blame me again.
  • Who'da thought a post about fucking sheep could have gone wrong?! Still, it beats dying from horse buggery.
  • In Rural Washington State, horse buggers you!