March 06, 2006

Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt!! The name Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt was an inevitable afterthought. When Steven Seagal finished creating a drink that holds untold natural power, there was only one equivalent in nature- The Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt. Both mysterious and powerful, it's a symbol of the untold energy the earth has to offer- Such is Steven Seagals Lightning Bolt energy drink.

Here's what critics have to say about Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt!! Steven Seagal is angry at your thirst!!!

posted by Koko 18 years ago
  • These Steven Segal lightning bolts -- are they more or less powerful as ordinary lightning bolts? If I used this Steven Segal lightning-bolt-in-a-can to power my Flux Capacitor, will it overload the system or merely cause a brownout?
  • WOW. That's a hell of a review! I laughed, I cried, I threw up a little in my mouth.
  • Think that's called half-assed reflux, pete.
  • A little of Steven Segal's Lightning Bolt will clear that right up for ya, pete. It also makes for a top-notch engine coolant.
  • Gavin: Are you mad because you're the last man with a ponytail left in North America? Darryl: What? Steven Seagal cut his off? Gavin: No! Somebody put Pop Rocks in his shampoo and blew it off!
  • Everyone could use a bit of extra energy now and again- Perhaps you want to work faster, play harder, or even think quicker. There are many reasons for wanting more energy, but did you ever stop to wonder why you lack that energy to begin with? Was it the eight gallons of vodka I drank last night?
  • Great link, Koko! I especially like how Seagal's picture on the website (and apparently on the can) looks a little like the Sims version of himself. Is this picture just waaaaay over airbrushed, or is it really a computer generated picture?
  • Hasn't this been posted already? Not to get all Metafilter on you, or nuthin', but I think this post needs some boob videos.
  • No! Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt is all this post can handle!!! meredithea: I've never seen the Sims' Steven Seagal. Is it a downloadable skin or something?
  • I've typed the name Steven Seagal more times today than I have in my entire life! And I'm pretty sure I'll never type it again after today! I declare Monday, March 6, 2006 to be Koko's Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Day!
  • The Adventures of Steven Seagull. nsfa* *not safe for adults
  • Steven Seagal vs Chuck Norris!
  • Steven Seagal vs. the Werzog. All the Tibetan Goji Berries in Tibet won't help you now, Stevie.
  • The Werzog once made an energy drink from his own perspiration. Unfortunately, a can could not be found that could contain it.
  • Koko, I don't know of a Sims skin (though how awesome would that be?). It's just that when I saw the picture I thought "If Steven Segal was in the Sims, that's what he would look like."
  • I get it now! Posting this FPP has lowered my IQ :(
  • Huh?
  • ????
  • I declare Monday, March 6, 2006 to be Koko's Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Day! *sniffle* Once again fish tick's birthday is secondary to the more important things in life.
  • All: "HAPPY KOKO'S STEVEN SEGAL'S LIGHTNING BOLT DAY, FISH TICK!!!" ♪♫ loo loo looooo loo loo ♪♫ loo looo looo! Looo looo loooo ♪♫ loo loo loo looooo! ♪♫
  • ♪♫ Happy birthday to youuuuu Happy birthday to youuuuu Happy birthday dear fish tick Please enjoy a can of Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience ♪♫ I wrote that myself. Did you know I'm a songwriter? Sincerely, Steven Seagal.
  • *blush* awwww- thanks!
  • Happy BD fishy!
  • The Asian Experience version goes great w/ Malibu (mango rum).
  • Happy waaay belated birthday, fish tick! Hope it was a swell one!
  • Koko, I was on the phone with my mom when I saw your lovely song, and she had to ask "Um, what are you laughing at?" Hee.
  • Happy (late) birthday 'tick.
  • When is Mr Seagal completing his neck transplant?
  • Awwwww- thank y'all, and how about having the decency to be a little more punctual next year? Kiddink. Har.
  • Happy next Birthday, fish tick!
  • The Werzog once made an energy drink from his own perspiration. Unfortunately, a can could not be found that could contain it. I think it behooves the Werzog to dillute said drink, perhaps one drop of werzog sweat to one gallon of distilled water, plus natual flavoring as deemed tasty by the Werzog (for whatever He deems tasty, you shall also find tasty...or else). Someone must compete with the evil of the S.S. Lightning Bolt.
  • And I say fie on any David Hasselhoff energy drink. Two wrongs to not make a right...or a drink.
  • AiiIIIIIIggh!! I was extremely happy without that image in my mind!! I don't want to be exposed to HasselQuaff!!
  • I traditionally use a caffeine-based energy drink in the morning, followed by either a vodka and vermouth-based energy drink OR a barley malt-based energy drink at lunch, followed by several more caffeine-based energy drinks during the afternoon, with another 1-2 caffeine based energy drinks in the early evening, topped off by, again,, sometimes 2-3, of the vodka-and-vermouth or malted-barley energy drinks. And I find that, overall, my energy is excellent.
  • Damn it, that reminds me, I'm out of bourbon.
  • To the Apemobile!
  • Hello. My name is Steven and...I'm an energydrinkoholic.
  • Shotgun!
  • MonkeyFilter: I was extremely happy without that image in my mind. MonkeyFilter: Overall, my energy is excellent. My name is MonkeyFilter and I'm an energydrinkoholic.