March 06, 2006

Nessie is really Dumbo claims Neil Clark, curator of palaeontology at Glasgow University's Hunterian Museum. "Ya pure mad dafty!" cry Scotland's Tourism Industry and the many believers of the legend of the Loch Ness monster.

There are many, many sites about the Loch Ness monster, including skeptical ones. Even detailed reasons why the Loch Ness monster could not possibly be a plesiosaur, as is commonly believed. Is it possible that Dick Raynor (amateur naturalist), Adrian Shine and Tony Harmsworth have all merely been on wild goose chases? Were these Midwest U.S. students ripped off by scamming locals last year when they found this tooth they believed to be of the Loch Ness monster, or by the entire legend itself? The Nessie legend has created ripples across many fields from stamps, to a range of films - including the cult classic The Secret of the Loch (1934), the condemned The Loch Ness Horror (1981), and Incident at Loch Ness (2004) (starring MoFi hero Werner Herzog). Nessie is not alone. Monsters in lakes can be found around the world - from Lake Tianchi Monster in China, to Mokele-Mbembe in Africa, and Ogopogo in Canada. Excited? Then why not search for the monster and take your own picture?

posted by gomichild 18 years ago
  • *obligatory supplication to Der Werzog* Seriously, Incident is fan-tastic.
  • Nessie is pure dead briwiant! It can't be an elephant cos the Chupacabra (or Knockie Lodge Elephant-sucker) would have got it by now.
  • I bet Werzog met Nessie, they had a fistfight too epic to be captured on film, and then proceeded to shag all night on a pile of shortbread.
  • Nessie is Klaus Kinski, who went AWOL while filming Aguirre II - More Wrath, and now Herzog is hunting him down.
  • I have actually been to this Scot-Land of which they speak. I have never seen the Loch Ness Monster though, so I don't think it exists.
  • So what? I've never seen God, but I still ... oh, wait. I live with a Scotch lady, and a Scotch dog, and we drink Scotch whiskey, and eat shortbread, offal and heroin. Ya wee bam.
  • I have eaten several Scotch Eggs.
  • I tried a GIS for the Tianchi monster and got this rather unimpressive picture plus and English graphic, and this one with a slightly larger blob.
  • It's all up to you then Abs. Grab a camera and get out there!
  • Jilin is far too far away and bloody freezing at this time of year. Will you settle for a tiny picture of a very silly statue of the alleged beastie?
  • Nope. Don't leave us unsatisfied like this!
  • I agree. Abiezer must stop hiding the beast - or be put to the sword.
  • Actually I don't have a sword, but I will certainly put you to this pair of toenail clippers.
  • Well, here in North America, we have Champ, the Lake Champlain Monster.
  • I can categorically state that I have never concealed a plesiosaur for either fun or profit, clipping be damned, though you wouldn't be the first woman I've left uns..., I know, let's all look at TUM's much better pictures instead
  • You know the real Nessie doesn't wear that saucy T-Shirt.
  • I have some Scotch Tape. Therefore, Nessie exists. And let's hear it for gomichild, the mad linker! Look at all those mad links! She must be completely ...... MAD!
  • Not mad lovey. Just strong in the Way of the Google-fu... Hums "I can't get no... satisfaction... I can't get no....
  • It's not a plesiosaur, that was Sir Peter Scott's bugbear. It's not a fucking elephant, though, jesus. Listen, skeptics, let's just keep it simple, can we? Coming up with explanations *more* fucking unlikely than the claims you're trying to debunk seems counterproductive.
  • look! there's a monster in Loch Ness no, it's an elephant, I guess it swims away it's camera-shy these tourists lie mendaciously and pretend it's a monster that they see
  • I'm quite scared because there is a monster at the end of this thread.
  • Oh no wait Chy's already commented. Sorry.
  • zing!
  • *sits back, lights pipe* Ah, have ye ever heard of the Chybeast then, boy? Nay, it be no rumour! Nay - though some folk - city folk, they be - would deny it, us who live out here on the moors have seen plenty of signs. We know there be truth in the old tales - of a creature, more beast than man, hideous to the eye, who takes the farmers' sheep at night and worries them - worries them to within an inch of their lives, he does! Beware he don't take you one dark night, me lad! *cough, splutter*
  • I've heard that the "Chybeast" is nothing more than a badger in heat.
  • My! It's hot in here! /burlesque music
  • /snaps photo.
  • /buys t-shirt, corn dog
  • The Chybeast is an elephantine plesiosaur. In heat. Admittedly, it's just a theory.
  • My theory is that you're an asshole! It's a badger I tell you! A BADGER IN HEAT!!!
  • A BADGER IN HEAT GLIMPSED THROUGH BLOOMING CATTAILS ON A CLOUDY WINTER DAY BEARS A MARKED RESEMBLANCE TO THE "CHYBEAST" BELIEVERS DESCRIBE HAVING SEEN !!!!!!!!! AND I WILL USE AS MANY EXCLAMATION MARKS AS NECESSARY TO PROVE MY ARGUMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • a+++++ would comment again
  • the Beast o' Perth he has a trick to beat the Werzog cause he's pchycic
  • Splendid linkitude, gomi! The best-known monster in these parts is Cadborosaurus (Caddy to his friends).
  • Mmmm, chocolate dinosaurs...
  • The Chybeast comes from his lair dripping with slime and Chy-offal. The only way to stop this horrible creature is to toss an empty pair of Pete's pants over its head and then throw over-ripe Quidnuncs at it, thus driving it back into its smelly den. Should this beast ever meet The Underpants Monster, my money's on TUM. Clash of the Titans, indeed!
  • perhaps we should have the Werzog referee that epic battle, no?
  • Am I the only one who's bothered by the fact that quid is CLIPPING HIS TOENAILS while posting??
  • Um... Hey Lara! Ya wanna know what I'M doing while posting?!
  • It involves a hamster, two forks, and a vat of lasagna! Wanna know more?
  • It's much worse when he doesn't clip them, trust me.
  • They don't call him 'Ole Yellow Claws' for nuthin'.
  • No, they call him that because of the jaundice.
  • Hey, you know what they say, ladies - once you've had yellow you'll never bother with another fellow.
  • Once you've had beige, you'll stay at that stage.
  • Once you've tried saffron, your clothes'll be half-on.
  • Once you've had buff, you'll.. have hepatitis.
  • Once you've had Chy, you'll think to yourself, "Sweet Jesus, WHY?"
  • *hollers, munches popcorn*
  • Once you've had German, you'll lie there and stop squirmin'.
  • Once you've had middleclasstool, you'll ask your parents and/or therapist to petition the Governor of your State to enact legislation that will ensure that he is never again allowed to prey on the 16-17 year old students outside the front gates of your High School. /libel
  • Also I have taunted you on flickr. I demand that you abuse me in return, or I shall be forced to apologise profusely and beg your pardon for any offence caused.
  • Mmm hmm. I am going to go into a corner and stroke my beard thoughtfully while I hatch a plan. You do not -- and I want to stress this -- do NOT want to know what happens after that.
  • Mah! We be a-fuedin' with the 'classtools agin!
  • Mah writes: That's f-e-u-d, son. Quid-Bob: Aw shucks I dun spelled it wrong agin.
  • *banjo music break*
  • Once you've had quid you'll wait anxiously until the test results come back some weeks later?
  • "Once you've had QUID you will wait anxiously until the test results come back some weeks later in order to discover the precise nature of the irritating rash of which you so long to be RID."
  • "Once you've had quid you'll wait a sec HA HA HA no, actually no-one would ever bother."
  • Once you've had quidnunc, you'll -- wait, fuck don't move...UNNH DAMMIT! That never happens to me. Just give me five minu....*snnnkk*
  • Quid, I am deeply, DEEPLY hurt that you don't taunt and abuse me on flickr, and I'm so much cuter in a suit than that TOOL person!
  • Will do, Medusa. Will do.
  • But, direct me to yr flickr page first.
  • Jesus! do I have to do everything!
  • Um...yes.
  • heehee
  • Well, there it is. Definitive proof. That would make a good beer commercial. Fantastic.
  • Did you see that? DID YOU SEE THAT? I SAW THAT!! And now I'm a believer.