March 05, 2006

Left Behind, page by page Blogger Slacktivist has been doing a weekly series on the first Left Behind book for almost two-and-a-half years and one hundred posts now, going page by page and noting the inconsistencies, poor storytelling and even poorer theology (he's a liberal Christian). Earlier posts are at the bottom of the linked page.
posted by the_bone 18 years ago
  • I started reading the Left Behind series, because the concept has such huge potential for a great story. Man it could be so good. I kept it up for six books before I gave up on them. They just more and more silly, stupid, and snotty.
  • I kept it up for six books before I gave up on them. I applaud your stamina. I only have to be kicked in the crotch once.
  • Holy shit. Writing about his favorite prophet, Ezekiel: Plus he had all that street theater and performance art -- the flaming poop, cutting his hair with a sword -- cool stuff. He also provides what is probably the dirtiest verse in the Bible, "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." That's Ezekiel 23:20 in the NIV. (My buddy Dwight wants to get end zone tickets to a Monday Night game some day and wave a sign that reads, "Ezek. 23:20.") I seriously need to have a beer with Dwight.
  • Left Behind: Like The Stand, but crap. In fact, the Left Behind series has exactly the same relationship to The Stand that "Christian metal" has to actual metal.
  • Donkey penises, though.
  • I read the Da Vinci Code as a form of vaccination.
  • That's Ezekiel 23:20 in the NIV That's pretty rad, but I was always partial to "He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD." (Deuteronomy 23:1, KJV)
  • I read the Da Vinci Code as a form of vaccination. I read the first page. It was enough.
  • I tried to read the first page but it was all in some kind of code.
  • Those are called "letters", quid. In fact, I'm using them right now!
  • I only made it through 2 1/2 of them before giving up in disgust. Like Mr. Knickerbocker, I thought the concept had great potential. What absolutely stunned me, though, was the absolutely HORRID writing. I mean, if they had simply been too preachy and evangelical for my agnostic self, that's one thing. But I've read high school papers with better style and language usage than those two can muster. And millions of people think these are the best books they've ever read! *sob* Of course, I have the same complaint about the Da Vinci Code, but that's another rant.
  • But in other news, I like this guy! "{Ezekiel} had all that street theater and performance art -- the flaming poop, cutting his hair with a sword -- cool stuff. He also provides what is probably the dirtiest verse in the Bible, 'There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.' That's Ezekiel 23:20 in the NIV. (My buddy Dwight wants to get end zone tickets to a Monday Night game some day and wave a sign that reads, "Ezek. 23:20.")" Tee hee hee. That's even better than my plan to protest abortion protestors by holding up "Matt 6:5" signs. Why can't we have more Christians like him?
  • KJV all the way, baby. Rockin' (well, stonin') it ole-skool. NIV's for wimps. THOU DA MAN, DAWG!
  • Those are called "letters", quid. In fact, I'm using them right now! I have no idea what this crazy babble means, but I'm sure it has something to do with the fucking Templars.
  • THOU DA MAN, DAWG! I love thee, The Underpants Monster
  • I read the whole thing. The whole thing!. I feel immense indignation that crap writers like these two are raking in millions, while good and even great writers are having trouble even getting published.
  • I'm reading a few posts a day on this, and I have to say, perhaps it's because of my upbringing, but I'm utterly fascinated. Interestingly, this makes me want to go check out a copy of LB and read it myself, just to see if the book really is as morally repulsive as slacktivist portrays it. I mean, clearly it's awful writing, but for it to be both terribly written and morally reprehensible? I believe that qualifies it as high art.
  • Tagline for a movie: "Left Behind...and lovin' it!"
  • muteboy, I honestly hope a Abrams/Zucker brothers movie like that gets made.