February 17, 2006

• She sounds kind of fun to me. If it was frozen, though, it would have hurt. And stunk.
• Apparently you people do a lot of this sort of thing over there.
• Yes. To my people, it is a sign of affection. *slaps Ralph with a moist haddock*
• 
• Hmmm...both perpetrators first asked the victim to kiss the fish. Do I smell a cult?
• A fishy-smelling cult?
• 
• Happy 100th, fishkissto!
• I have had clients who were charged with assault with a hamburger, a cup of water, and urine.
• You have typed the word 'urine' at least twice today, bernockley. Not many people can claim that. Good on ya.
• He's a whiz.
• A real stand-up guy.
• I did. This one was factual, the other was more silly. I am thinking about getting away from the owl semen for a while and getting into urine.
• It's a very fluid market at the moment, but a real golden opportunity.
• No. 1 in my book.
• Please don't tell me that these guys the ultimate role models?? are gonna be sued
• OK, I may be stupid (don't answer that), but what's a 100-up party?
• It's like a 7-Up movie, only 14.285 times longer.
• Great joke, Capt. But didn't you mean it's like a 7-Up "party?"
• Umm, no. I assumed kit was being typically English and referring to this.
• That's what I thought, too. If not, then what? Stop keeping me in suspense!
• Who you what now? I'm totally lost. Even more than on fly's ramblings in the thread next door.
• I thought you were referring to the 7-Up movies, too, Capt. I got what you meant. The ones with the kids growing up and stuff. And if that's not what Kit is talking about, then what the hell is he talking about. It's becoming an obsession, and I can't get any work done now. And I'm making incoherent posts, even! It's probably some Brit thing they think we North Americans are too dumb to get. Fine, look down your noses at us. See if I care! But, really, what does it mean?
• Aha! 100 posts! I is a dumb North American after all...
• P.S. Nice blog, kit.
• I, for one, amd too dumb to get that joke.
• What, Chyren doesn't have an animated gif of Monty Python's fish-slapping dance? I AM DISAPPOINTED IN THE INTERNET.
• Hey Capt Renault i may be rambling next door but when it comes to fish slapping i am totally focused!!!! Hell i even managed a functional in line post which for me is a serious rarity!!!!! (Mainly cos i am too too dumb to figure them out!
• She wasn't 'sacked'. She was 'struck off' for slapping a colleague "round the face". Stuff like this is why British English is superior to American English.
• Oh, I say, ratha. Quite, quite. Don't-you-know.
• "Sacked" is not exactly an American term.
• Ah well, if this story was from Newfoundland now, it woulda been a cod, not some wimpy little trout. And rather than being sacked, the smacker woulda got a thankee from the smackee fer screechin' them in.
• Is getting sacked anything like getting tea-bagged?
• Oh, and congrats, kit! *Opens a bottle of champage, managing to spew it around the room.* *Throws confetti everywhere.* *Wheels in a huge cake, out of which a panda jumps.*
• *slaps the panda with a freshly caught turbot*
• mmmm and if true fimbulvetr none of us would have understood a Newfie word!!!!!! Oh Kit in Oz apparently you are supposed to drink as many beers as possible in as short a time as possible and then fall over so your mates can say how good it was - well done (Yeah i know a newbie but hey i admire what you have to say.....)
• Is getting sacked anything like getting tea-bagged? If so, I am really going to enjoy my meeting this afternoon.
• I'm assuming you're the sacker, not the sackee...
• Is getting tea-bagged anything like playing the rusty trombone?
• OK, I think the 100-up party has started. Woo! *takes clothes off*
• does that mean 'bourbon for breakfast' is ok?
• Perfik! *gets a bit cold / puts clothes on again*
• Apparently, fly, the Python fish-slapping dance isn't just a fun comedy sketch, but an integral component of the British folk art tradition. Morris dancing + Fish dancing = Morris the cat likes fish. Excuse me, I should like to complain about the lack of fish puns in the thread.
• There's a time and a plaice for everything. Eh? EH!!!
• sorry TUM, I am floundering for a pun to please you
• (I really took the bait, didnt I?)
• What's that you say, kit? I'm not understanding you. Not angling for compliments again, are you?
• I'm sorry, kit. I can't understand you with your clothes on.
• TANK you for the puns! You guys mackerel good comedy team.
• 
• "There'll be nibbles, booze and party games." I've seen no evidence of any such thing. Unless you count the fish slapping as a game.
• I'm assuming you're the sacker, not the sackee... You are, are you? Hmm. That's nice. And *cough* correct.
• Wet Dream by Kip Adotta It was April the 41st, being a quadruple leap year. I was driving in downtown Atlantis. My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray, and it was over-heating. So, I pulled into a Shell station. They said I'd blown a seal. I said, "Fix the damned thing, and leave my private life out of it, okay pal?" While they were doing that, I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar. A real dive, but I knew the owner. He used to play for the Dolphins. I said, "Hi Gil!" You have to yell, he's hard of herring. Gil was also down on his luck. Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water. I bellied up to the sandbar. He poured me the usual Rusty Snail, hold the grunion, shaken, not stirred. With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side, heavy on the Mako. I slipped him a fin on porpoise. I was eeling good! I even dropped a sand-dollar in the box for Jerry's squids for the Halibut. Well, the place was crowded. We were packed in like sardines. They were all there to listen to the Big Band sound of Tommy Dorsal. What sole. Tommy was rocking the place with a very popular tuna "Salmon-chanted Evening." And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers, probably there to see the bass player. One of them was this cute little yellow-tail, and she's giving me the eye! So I figure this is my chance for a little fun. You know, a piece of Pisces. But she said things I just couldn't fathom. She was too deep. She seemed to be under a lot of pressure. Boy, could she Drink! She drank like a... well, she drank a lot. I said, "What's your sign?" She said, "Aquarium." I said, "Great! Lets get tanked!!" I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait. I said, "Come on, baby, it'll only take a few minnows." She threw me that same old line, "Not tonight. I got a haddock." And she wasn't kidding, either, 'cause in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock I'd ever seen come down the pike. He was covered with mussels. He came over to me and said, "Listen, shrimp, don't ya come trolling around here." What a crab! This guy was steamed. I could see the anchor in his eyes. I turned to him. I said, "Abalone. You're just being shellfish." Well, I knew there was going to be trouble, and so did Gil, 'cause he was already on the phone to the Cods. The haddock hits me with a sucker punch. I catch him with a left hook. He eels over. It was a fluke. But there he was, lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel. Kelpless. I said, "Forget the Cods, Gil. This guy's gonna need a sturgeon." Well, the yellow-tail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend. She came over to me. She said, "Hey, big boy, you're really a game fish. What's your name?" I said, "Marlin." Well, from then on we had a whale of a time. I took her to dinner. I took her to dance. I bought her a bouquet of flounders. And then I went home with her. And what did I get for my trouble? A case of the clams.
• *applauds* That's a reel good story, bernockle! Quite a-lure-ing!
• bernockle, you are SUCH A STUD!!! your gonna get the monster's underpants in an uproar with that puntastic tale!
• Hey, does a salt with a fish hurt more than getting peppered?
• OMG, bernockle, I remember that song from way back! My high school friend and I used to quote it to each other. Now you've gone and made me type "OMG." I hope you're happy.
• Clams? Eeeaayyyyrghh.
• My favorite part is the ad for the Monty Python show running alongside the Guardian story.
• Wow, 'nockle, that was fin-tastic!
• Heh. I love you guys.
• I'm still waiting for my nibbles.
• Maybe you oughtta beel off those basties.