February 16, 2006

• I just realised this should be called 'new mother gifts'. Doh.
• Diaper Genie
• I read this too fast, and thought that you wanted to give something to your best friend's wife. Hey-O! Hmm. Baby gifts, baby gifts... Cheap baby gifts... You paint. What about giving them a painting of something baby-related? Sonogram might make a neato abstract. Allright, that's stupid. Gift certificate for something girly -- spa treatment, certain store, whatever. Something completely about her, as all the attention has been focused on her crotch-fruit. You're welcome.
• Yeah, it's something for her I'm after ideas for...
• maybe a little basket of things like nice lotions (maybe one that's for foot massages?) and this book.
• A "free night of babysitting" gift certificate?
• Given the months of deprivation, some of the meanest whiskey you can find?
• Best baby gifts we got: A bundle of 20 washcloths. Used them again and again over the years, and replace them when they wore out. Babys are messy. A hand dyed baby garment like this one, although drawing one with fabric markers would do nicely, too. Babys use lots of clothes, and simple is good. The only thing that the mom really will use might be earplugs. I have given and received them, and the concept is amusing.
• For the mum: a feeding cushion. For the baby: a taggie. My girl has just reached 4 months and loves her. (But if you know her really well: she wants breast pads and sanitary towels.....)
• Capt. got it - what about the painting of the Dukester? I would totally dig that if I was pregnant. Umm . . anyway it's a great idea. Do that. I command it! *clap* *clap*
• Alcohol may be a problem if she's nursing. Fancy bath/shower products, a massage, music, a gift certificate to a salon or spa, take-out certificates, a sling (they're much nicer and easier than snuglis) might all be welcome.
• How about a Baby Carrier, so she can wear her baby?
• Beat by fish tick.
• You can carry possums in mine, too.
• My wife's best friend gave her a fish. Which died soon after. So nothing else which requires any care whatsoever. Practical is good, especially for the first week or two. Are you able to cook? Some pre-made meals that can be reheated quickly or frozen are good. (Or from M&S - Mom and Dad will be too exhausted to care - or cook) Offer to be a maid for a day. Take care of the cleaning. Wear a costume.
• I lived in my pajama pants and t-shirts for the first two weeks after my child was born. So she might appreciate something like that. You could also take some pictures of the family at the hospital, print them, and give them to her in a lovely frame.
• Ooh! Ooh! I think it's been posted here before, but one of those cds of punk rock classics reworked as lullabies. Because, let's face it, Itsy Bitsy Spider can drive you an itsy bit insane in the ol' membrane. Or their 80's or HipHop cds. Or one of their shirts with "Mama ain't raisin' no fool". Do it. Do it now.
• I quite like the bob dylan one - It's time I need a-changin... Tee hee. poo is teh funny.
• painting!!
• I am working on a spotted skunk standing on it's fron legs, ready to spray stinky stuff. That's gotta be play-room friendly...
• If I had a friend who painted, I'd think it was the shizz if he painted a mural in my baby's room. I'd also like him to buy me something I could relax with, like litchracha or booze or some old PM Dawn cassettes or Scarlett Johannsen.
• Ooh! Certificate for a massage. I'm sure she'd love that after squeezing out teh crotchfruit.
• A wolf. A ravenous wolf.
• ha! *hides*
• Unexpurgated, unbowdlerized Grimm.
• The kitchen gods tell me that diaper service or readymade frozen meals for one or two people can be a huge relief to a new mother.
• I third (or fourth) the idea of painting something for the baby's room. As for a gift specifically for the mom, new moms don't always feel the prettiest they have in their lives, so something like bubble bath, gift baskets of lotions and stuff, I think that's a nice sort of thing to give as well.
• I like the sonogram painting idea. That way it could be for both parents. Irrefutable proof that the baby isn't yours would be a nice bonus too.
• zing!
• Pr0n. Lots and lots of pr0n.
• With fisting.
• It's all well and good giving her "mom" sort of gifts, but believe me, she'll soon know she's a mother--and when that gut-level realization hits that there won't BE anymore life without children, and it'll be pretty grim for the next 18 years, she's going to need something that re-affirms herself as a woman or a person separate from the kiddling. Get her some perfume, a novel, CDs, a neat purse, some jogging shorts, gift certificate for a movie, an evening at a nice resturant, rollerblades, a cookbook--SOMETHING that doesn't scream, "You're a hostage to fortune for the rest of your life!" Give her a present that she can use to renew herself in what little spare time she has, so that she can go back to the wee one happily.
• You could get her a baby.
• Or -- OR -- you could be the cruelest friend ever, and get her a puppy at the same time. Explain that since the puppy and the baby are exactly the same age, they'll grow up to be the best of friends. And, with training, the puppy can be a watchdog over the baby, so it'll be less work in the long run. Plus, it'll be a neat psychological experiment, comparing development rates -- who stops pooping on the living room carpet first, who responds to commands first, that sort of thing. Enh? ENH?
• How about a book on how to lose all that disgusting pregnancy weight? That's a cheerer-upper.
• A painting! Paint! Ing! *bam!* *bam!* *bam!* ^^pounding on table Definitely. Definitely time for Wapner. Myyeah.
• d@mmit Pete!! I almost wet my pants laughing. Almost time for Wapner indeed!
• Aahhh. That nursery version of 'Ever Fallen In Love'... Gosh. I might re-consider my no-kids-ever-policy just so I can buy that CD.
• A CD of lullabyes that won't drive the parents insane. I like this one. We're trying to train our daughter to fall asleep on the first song.
• baby-dosage capsules of oxycontin? cause you know mom's gonna need a break after a while...
• Best thing after the hospital stay was some good hot meals. Several friends took turns coming over with prepared dinner. Just a drop off, no more than 30seconds of lingering and cooing and get out of there. They want your food and a chance to rest -- not to have to entertain you.
• I heartily recommend Baby Dub for sleeping music. My wee one dozes off to it turned down low and we dance to it turned way up. There are brilliant, brilliant ideas here. The prepared food or food vouchers, the housework (hell yes!), the Body Shop stuff, a painting, a good book or voucher (if she's nursing she can read at the same time). Movie vouchers or a netflix account would probably be nice, since Mum will be sticking fairly close to home for a bit. Personally I wasn't big on the babysitting voucher idea at first because the idea of leaving my tiny new baby was too hard to contemplate. But later, when the baby is six months old or so and the parents have had enough and need to get out for an evening, go for it. Make yourself available to take bubs for a walk in the stroller for an hour once in a while so the parents can have some time out -- this will work fine as long as the baby's fed and changed before you go. He or she will probably just sleep anyway, and you can pick up chicks by pretending to be a single dad.
• Lot's of good ideas here! fanks guys.
• It's a boy! 8lb, 4oz. Woo! Yay! Hoopla!
• Congrats to your friends and the healthy "baby-that-isn't-yours".
• Now get to work. That painting isn't going to paint itself, Painty McPaintPaint.
• Congrats! Are they taking suggestions on names? I'd go for 'Nick'.
• Just something I thought of when I was shaving this morning.
• I did suggest that. Didn't seem to go down to well...
• Try harder.
• Use some sort of bludgeoning device.
• pete is blunt and thick. Try him.
• hey that tickles!
• I could just fix the birth certificate. They'll be too busy 'oohing' and 'aaaahing' over the spawn...
• offer to register the birth for them. y'know as part of helping out.