February 15, 2006

• Juvenile? Well it's got me giggling like a bloody girl. lol. Funking hell, I loves monkeyfilter.
• The picture totally makes it funnier. Wonder if it was an intentional joke on the part of the art director?
• That's quite...something. I mean really, really blatantly something. Hope you don't mind, RTD, I just removed the referral part from your amazon link.
• Get over it. Justify your censorship however you please.
• Aw shit now I'm-a gonna done get a dick poundin' agin.
• JUST JOKES! LOVE YOU!
• Oh sure you guys and your Dick jokes. It has really gotten out of control since Monday. or, more accurately Sunday. But if you want to get technical about it, Saturday. After the beer picnic.
• Damn. Thats GOT to be intentional. I almost want to buy the book just to be able to display it.
• More talc! More talc!
• Dick Pound remains the only person to threaten me with violence. In public, anyway. In a room full of lawyers and potential lawyers. And why, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. Dick was a VP of the Int'l Olympic Committee (or some such position) at the time the Salt Lake Bribery scandal broke. He came to our school a week or two after the headlines hit, and of course, he didn't want to talk about the scandal at all. Instead, he wanted to talk to us about How To Be Lawyers. (He's a tax lawyer of some repute, or at least, his name's on the textbook.) Anyway, he was going on and on about reputation, and how everything was about perception. I grabbed onto that, and asked him why, if perception was everything, why his first response to the bribery scandal was to go on a Carbbean vacation -- "allegation of bribery? head to the is-lands", as it were. Dick didn't take to that very well. "IF MY WIFE HEARD YOU SAY THAT, SHE'D KNOCK YOUR BLOCK OFF!" Then he realized he may have gone a tad overboard, esp. concerning that whole 'reputation' thing, and started going on and on about how he and his wife hadn't had a vacation for the last 30 years, finally had a chance to get away, blah blah blah. Completely ignored the fact that as a member of the International Olympic Committee, your life pretty much IS a vacation. Didn't take back his threat to sic his wife on me. Nor did he address the suitability of heading to the Caribbean as soon as the allegations of financial impropriety hit. Yeah. He's a Dick, all right.
• Awesome.
• Funnily enough, I once pounded my dick right up oh wait that's not really funny.
• His next book is a collaboration with Hugh Jass.
• And Ben Dover, and Phil McCavity.
• (I thought it was Phil McCracken..?)
• I understand the project with Mike Hunt didn't go very smoothly.
• If Amanda Huggankiss heard you say that, she'd knock your block off!
• Model for the cover photo? Werner Herzog.
• There's an auto dealer near me named Pat McCracken. Don't know if he has a brother named Phil, but every time I see the license plate holder on a new car I want to say "Pat McCracken? Sure, just spackle that bastard right shut!"
• I notice the model on the cover is using his left hand with a modified European grip. That may mean nothing to the casual observer, but trust me when I say it's quite unorthodox, as well as being a highly advanced feat of wankery. This is no amateur.
• That you know that is causing disturbances in the force, rocket. I wonder if *BLAM!* Oh . . oh dear. Cover up in aisle six!
• I find this all rather offensive. Just because a man's name strikes you as somehow comical doesn't give you carte blanche to make interminable infantile jokes about it. And don't take this as someone being offended on behalf of someone else. No, I have personal experience in this matter. You see, my real name isn't Nick Danger. The name my parents gave me is Penisboy McFartypoop. Middle name? Cuntybooks.
• Oh, and before you ask, no, my parents weren't cruel or stupid. The fact is that Penisboy is family name that goes back to the 16th Century. An ancestor of mine, you see, was penisboy to the King himself!
• Nickdanger! With your true last name, you've come damn near to a perfect Googlewhack! Try it!
• (and yes, I have way too much time on my hands.)
  
• *Calls for Conny Lingism and Phil Atio.
• hmmm 'medusa snakequeen' actually generates 4 hits, three of which refer to me...I feel paranoid
• Ha ha - no need to feel paranoid. Just speak clearly into the pencil holder and move slightly to your right.
• Moon Unit Zappa gets to be an Actor, Dweezil Zappa gets to be a Musician, but lowly Diva is simply a "relative." How'd you like to wake up every morning with that albatross? "Ooo, what a hard day I had hanging out and playing inconsequential music that no one but friends and my 14 fans will ever hear. How was you day Diva? Did you stress yourself and have a hard time with that whole sharing genetic code stuff? Here, let's share a beer and wind down together." Ok, following in the footsteps of Frank must suck regardless...
• "I can hardly wait for Colonel Lingus..."
• Could a 'Hugh Jorgan' come to main reception please?
• A co-worker of mine went to High School with someone named Nancy Ann Cianci. Her parents must have truly hated her... (If you're confused as to what I mean, try saying it out loud... it's hard to know when to stop) NANCYANNCIANCI!!!!
• hell, when i was at summer camp, there was a boy whose name was Joe Hiney.... we were 14, he was 6'2" and his mom withheld his allowance til he shaved off his mustache. needless to say, no one ever made fun of his name.
• NANCYANNCIANCI!!! You're right. That is fun.
• ONe of my classmates in high school was Anna Bastardi. I always wondered how her name affected her.
• Reminds me working at my college radio station. There was one album in particular we kept around and treated with reverence: Dick Hyman and His Fabulous Organ. We were all convinced the record company just HAD to know about the double entendre when they released it.
• I see your amusing book, and I'll raise you one unintentionally dirty children's book...
• I see your raise, and raise you Canada's finest (and only) airline.
• And, with this, I'm all-in
• Ralph, they all look like The Werzog Family Crest!
• NANCYANNCIANCIANSIANTSYANUSY Holy shit that's fun.
• Almost but not quite as fun: Banananananananananananaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Did I see an anus in there?
• Dick Butkis
• Banananananananananananaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Bat Man! He lives in a lair...
• Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.
• *hands thread medal to Dr Dodger*
• That's Colonel Angus (at least according to SNL). "Randolph Mantooth" is way better than "Dweezil Zappa." Anyone else remember the "Lord Penistone" episode in The Baroque Cycle?
• I mean, Colonel Angus.
• Yes! That was it! Angus. It all comes back to my foggy brain now.