February 14, 2006

• I love me.
• *shoots an arrow of "Fes-crushness", relayed from a secret admirer*
• Too many to mention. You know who you are.
• *delivers a monkey crush on middleclasstool*
• *someone is CRAZY about The Underpants Monster*
• *a message that "Quidnunc is hawt in the pics I've seen"*
• "beeswacky's poems make me smile all over. XO, An Anonymous (Lady) Monkey"
• "my mofi crush... ...between Fes, Koko, and moneyjane, I simply can't pick a favorite!"
• What Wolof said. Most of you know who you are, I think. Let me drink more. I think I can get good and sloppy for this thread.
• 
• *sends her love to all monkeys big and small* *sends Valentine's Day wishes to surlyboi as President of Surlyboi Fan Club (Int'l)*
• *hearts monkeys*
• Well, aside from quid, away from whom I've been beaten with a tick-laden tree branch by all the other female monkeys amidst uprorious ooking and poo flinging, I kinda crush on all 4,615 of you.
• I heart the Monkeys, leapers and lurkers. **opens arms wide for GramMa hugs to all** just don't anybody tell Bees I have a crush on him
• An anonymous message goes out: "My ubiquitous expansion near your sweet nothings will uplift heated eternal love. Happy Valentine's Day Alnedra!"
• away from whom I've been beaten with a tick-laden tree branch Oy! I was never near the place, I don't know him, and he's too young.
• HAPPY VD! ...take however you like it..
• I know at some point I am just going to break down and confess to my secret anonymous confessions...
• 
• A veritable pile of arrows are shot out: Chyren Wolof Alnedra beeswacky Koko quidnunc kitfisto fes middleclasstool abeizer coppe languagehat petesbest the collective the bone homunculus wendell quonsar bernocle f8xmulder tracicle BlueHorse BearGuy forksclovetofu cautionlivefrogs flashboy plegmund pf "(come back!)" Dreadnaught jb Mothninja Dangerismymiddlename Nickdanger lara christophine mecurious Dizzy rxreed zemat *stops to reload quiver* That's what I get for taking a break!
• "My overwhelming accelerating for your big blossoms will overwhelm our future of unending desires. Happy Valentine's Day Melinika!"
• "My unprecedented groping of your gems of wisdom will enmesh our dastardly love dementia. Happy Valentine's Day Abiezer Coppe from your Secret Admirer."
• An arrow that says "Je t'adore, curieux!!"
• Hey, just so everyone knows: I totally put out.
• "My unbelievable propulsion toward your lost hopes will uplift our luscious longing. Happy Valentine's Day Wolof!"
• "My unparalleled whining about your roses of desire will revolutionize our eternal psychic connections. Happy Valentine's Mothninja!"
• Aw, Nickdanger. I was crushing on you after that Charlie Brown picture. No need to put out. But since you already said it and you can't take it back...
• "beeswacky, you are the bees knees, with or without garters!"
• Thus is plucked my delicate pink flower...
• "for rasparticle: My awesome eagerness for your sweetness will beautify our future hopes and dreams. Happy Valentine's Day Hamster Boy!"
• "Thanks, GramMa, for keeping the young 'uns in line, and the elders feelin' fine."
• "for Nickdanger: My ubiquitous exploding near your love's hope will improve our future of rampant romantic recklessness. HVD Danger Boy!"
• "My terrifying blossoming near your smallest hope will intensify our future of lust. HVD Medusa"
• Oh, I feel all itchy and red.
• anyone else who doesn't have a valentine... i choo-choo-choose you!
• Anonymous valentine for Lara: "If you and I were "will-they-or-won't-they?" sitcom characters... we totally would."
• "for mandyman: My strangest licking of your sweetness will intensify our cosmic lustful longing. Happy Valentine's Day!"
• "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your poetry makes, Me so fond of you! HVD beeswacky!"
• an anonymous Monkey sends: *swoons all over the place for gomi*
• "For mackerel: Oh for just a glimpse of your sweet face my angel. Someday..."
• Roses are red; Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, And monkeys fling poo.
• Roses are red, Violets are blue. I love all the monkeys But I wed #2.
• let poetry be read let sky and sea be blue each poem that I write my dear, I write for you
• a raunchy one for Wolof: "Teach me how to French!"
• "hajen: for you, laserbeams would just be icing on the cake, baby."
• For Wolof: you've grown on me like a mold; what I mean to say is that you are a fungi!!!
• I've been posting the following on people's myspace pages. I wanted to share and didn't know where else to put it: "Shot through the heart! And you're to blame! Well...shot in the face and shoulders. Close enough. Happy Valentines"
• also
• layne, lady layne: Going to bed at night is great, but waking up with you is even better.
• For gomichild: It'd be awfully nice to wake up to brekky with you.
• layne, lady layne: Let's play Babysitters Club: I'll be Logan, you be my Mary Ann.
• oooooooo I hope whoever thinks it would be nice to wake up to brekky with me likes Vegemite on toast! cause that is what I just had
• I love all female monkeys. But specially you, you, you, and of course you. I said female. Take your stinking paws off me, you damned horny male apes!
• tracicle: You'll always be my #1 baby!
• es el Queso Sólo tú le das brillo y Amor a mi Corazón. Sólo tú me miras con tanta pureza y belleza interior. Sólo tú llenas de Alegría a mi Alma. Sólo tú conoces mis secretos, deseos y anhelos. Sólo tú me transmites calor con tus manos. Sólo tú me das fuerzas para seguir viviendo. Sólo tú me hablas con tanta dulzura. Sólo tú me escuchas con tanta paciencia. Sólo tú me acaricias con tanta delicadeza. Sólo tú me besas con tanta ternura. Sólo tú me comprendes con tanta sutileza. Sólo tú haces que me sienta el Ser más Feliz del Universo. Sólo tú me das tanta seguridad en mí misma. Sólo tú me calmas y tranquilizas cuando estoy mal. Sólo tú eres el que puede entrar en mi Corazón y en mi Ser. Sólo tú me abrigas cuando tengo frío. Sólo tú eres y serás el Dueño de mi Corazón. Sólo tú eres mi Sueño hecho realidad. Sólo tú eres y serás el que me ama y me amará siempre. Sólo tú eres al que amo y amaré eternamente!
• ooga_booga, will you be my pirate valentine? p.s. see you Saturday!
• Monkeys! I love you! Love you long time! 10% discount...20% for quidnunc...
• ooga_booga: You are a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day, a glass that's half full, a shiny nickel on the sidewalk of life.
• *rushes off to learn Spanish* more likely..*rushes off to use babel fish*
• Roses are red Violets are blue I've had your ma and she was crap too.
• An anonymous proposal of Orgy! Orgy! Orgy! for tracicle beeswacky languagehat Koko monthninja DangerIsMyMiddleName Quidnunc Fes bibliochick the_bone kitfisto Space Kitty flashboy Plegmund Dreadnought jb the petebest collective goetter Wolof Alnedra BearGuy Chyren Nickdanger forksclovetofu BlueHorse Lara shinything middleclasstool ooga_booga Darshon fish tick wendell Abiezer_Coppe f8xmulder moneyjane: Oh you sexy simians. I never thought I could settle down until I met you. Let us now get down to the hot monkey lovin'.
• *goes to stock up on more arrows*
• I also expected a LOT more valentines. Has my charm offensive of the last year been wasted? *cries* *slips koko's card under her door, runs away sobbing*
• Oh Daisy May, what can I say? You're the girl who never goes away Link 2886 has lingered long Your cheating ex's fingered schlong Forgotten now as monkey troupe All went comment-cock-a-hoop So here I tribute fondly pay To a freaky flame-out Daisy May
• To all the London Monkeys, who made me feel at home when I was there. Cheers!
• May I also add the gentlemanly Cambridge monkeys, and also all the monkeys I met in London who weren't London monkeys. Yep. I think that covers it. *blows kisses UK-wards*
• Oh Abiezer_Coppe! Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Or perhaps a hungover autumn morn? Or perchance last Wednesday afternoon, which was quite nice? My love daikon! How I long to peel away those dirt-encrusted layers! And embrace your juicy core!
• My dear, sweet Suomynona, My love for you is like a big banana, Camouflaged like a leopard's hide, But warm and squishy inside!
• *deep breath* quidnunc kitfisto Chy petebest Fes Lara fish tick Medusa teh_bone AND spacekitty AND sexyrobot (must be together) Storybored tracicle middleclasstool moneyjane Alnedra mothninja Plegmund Nickdanger Wolof gomichild Darshon beeswacky ethylene and many, many more ... god I'm such a slut ...
• Um...some of the chicks might want to send the Capt one, otherwise the only one he'll get will be from his mum. Again.
• Capt. Renault O Captain! My Captain! our joyful trip is done; The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won; The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting, While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring: Dear heart! heart! heart! O the dropping petals of roses, Where on the deck my Captain lies, In luscious sex-god poses.
• 
• Y'know, "The Petebest Collective" would be an awesome name for a band.
• Monkyeys-whom-I-neglected-to-list-because-I-hadn't-yet-finished-my-coffee-but-who-no-less-ripen-my-banana: Captain Renault ooga_booga f8xmulder Blue Horse ramix un- sugarmilktea roryk squidranch muffpub (come back!) mandyman abiezer_coppe bernockle
• (Phew! I was getting a bit worried there -- looking into the paper bag taped to the side of my desk, and seeing nothing there, but now I have two! Yay! Validation!)
• "Dear Moneyjane; I'm scared by my love for you -- but will you be my Valentine? And is there any movement on the 10%? Love, Ol' whatsisname."
• Monkeys who I despise totally with acidic ferocity, sulphuric disgust and malice unending: Hip Zippypants Trollcycle YOU Adolf Q. Zanzibar III psuedoChy, the incredible Chy impersonator The guy who posted that political thing, you know, the one I don't agree with pete_best 4,912 (the rest are OK) That fucking quidnunc kid idiot T.W.A.T. Bumface the munificent A_GA_D0_DO_DO_PUSH_AN_APPLE_SHAKE_A_TREE SexxyMann23 Titanium Jake with his Big Fat Snake ColonicPolyp Mrs. Mr. Jimbo McYeehaw Everybody and the sockpuppets they walked in on fsrqqsrdrrtjqjdliudydfwrtyqrw fsrqqsrdrrtjqjdliudydfwrtyqro Uncky Peado Kitfisto
• So says an anonymous Monkey: "(Hey, this is not perverted, it's the first line of Lolita rewritten, so it's all literary!)" "Suomynona, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Su-o-my-no-na: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of five steps down the palate, well, not so much a trip really as it just sort of lays there for three syllables and then kind of perks up at the end. Su. O. My. No. Na."
• "I *heart* kitfisto only slightly more than I *heart* his paintings! *squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*"
• A valentine from Capt. R. for Koko: "From the wholeness of my heart -- both left and right atria, left and right ventricles, atrioventricular AND semilunar valves, and septum too -- Happy Valentine's Day! Will you be mine? I promise not to tell Mr. Koko if you won't... Love, Capt. Renault."
• "Koko! My love for you sends me loco!"
• this is not perverted, it's the first line of Lolita I think the two clauses in that sentence cancel each other out...
• An anonymous Monkey sends this message: "*too embarrassed to say anything, just shuffles feet, thrusts bouquet of flowers in Bluehorse's direction, runs away*"
• *hands craft-paper Valentine with illegible crayon scrawl and heart made of glued-macaroons to GranMa*
• Another anonymous valentine: "The Underpants Monster: If only we could play a game of hide and seek together!"
• "fractalid: You can lift the lid off my heart fractionally anytime!"
• "PY is so yummy and guavalicious!"
• "Happy Valentine's Day to all the #mofirc Monkeys! Love, guess who"
• "Happy Valentine's Day to the love of my life, the cutest guy in the world, Tai Shan Reginald von teh Cute Poot-Poot, Duke of Squeeeeee!"
• "Also, I'd totally make out with kitfisto, Wolof, Capt. R and Bees!"
• "drivingmenuts: I'd come over and cook bacon for you anytime. HAWT!"
• "Candy-scented tentacles for Cthulhu *cough* varj"
• I ♥ Cupid, for making this sloppy, wet, smelly orgy of a thread possible! I hump your leg!
• koko IS MINE!!! *swirls around blindly, brandishing that big sharp knife that you all know I've got* *although feels a bit better now he's got some valentines* *abuses quodninc's corpse instead*
• check your email, limey
• "coriolisdave: "My heart swirls for you, but backwards, because toilets swirl backwards in Australia and... aw forget it"
• Awwww, kit! *sniff* Here's one for you!
• "Bibliochick: the one woman for whom I would submit to her getting medieval on my ass. And that raven hair, those lips! Mothninja: she breaks my heart like a curly-blonde Kristen Scott Thomas, smoke-wreathed and haughty as an ice princess of the north. Koko: Best post of 2005, indeed! Her sly grin wantoness is matched only by her karate chop wit. These are my Angels; if only I could be their Charlie... Happy St. Valentine's Day, Angels."
• kit, you're not scaring anyone with that plastic Pirates of the Caribbean Movie Playset Action Knife.
• *Hands Spiderman Valentine reading "My Spidey-sense tingles whenever I'm near you!" to Tracicle.*
• Yay!
• "Lara is bewitchin' I just wish I could stop itchin' Tee and Hee"
• *Hands Batman Valentine reading "I've got something in my Utility Belt with your name on it" to Medusa.*
• Is it a pair of pants?
• *hands Capt. Renault a book with the title "Secret Admiring for Dummies"* (~^)
• *Hands Incredible Hulk Valentine reading "You would not like me when I'm angry -- so hands off my Valentine Koko" to kitfisto*
• He's too desperate to do 'subtle'.
• "*hands Capt. Renault a book with the title "Secret Admiring for Dummies"* I am not ashamed of my many loves! I put it out there for all to see! *towel falls to floor*
• I am prepared to fight over her. *swishes plastic Pirates of the Caribbean Movie Playset Action Knife about in a swashbuckling manner*
• I'm a lover, not a fighter, baby! *applies fresh coat of lip balm*
• Phew! *mops up wee*
• "squees for livii, mothninja, and Alnedra, the DW squee girls"
• I would fuck all of you. Okay, not petebest.
• What about pete_best?
• Mmmmmmm...no.
• Hey big boy! Yoo hoooo! *waves scarf*
• Now that is one sexy motherfucker.
• Wait, does this mean that quidley might get a girlfriend and stop molesting twice-baked potatoes? TUNE IN NEXT WEEK, SAME BAT-TIME, SAME BAT-CHANNEL.
• "Dear Quidcorpse; You give so much, and ask so little. Please be my Valentine!"
• "Grudging Valentine wishes to a Cantankerous Humorous Yowling Rapscallion Erudite Nuisance of a monkey!"
• "Dear Quidcorpse Kid; You're the best valentine I cadaver wish for!!"
• I don't get it.
• I think that everyone mentioned in this thread subsequently scanning their naughties and posting the images would make a fine capper to this Valentine's Day.
• You first Fes-san.
• *puts her valentine for Fes back in her bag*
• Hey, baby, it's me, middleclasstool. I'm talking to you, baby, yeah, you, that lurker over there in the corner. Don't be shy, baby. You know daddy mct's got what you want. What's that scent you're wearing? Mmmmmm, I love tapioca too. Come over here and sit on daddy's lap, now baby. He's got something to give you...
• Check your profile email, petebest, if ye know what's good fer ye.
• Doh! Broke the scanner! That's going to leave a mark, no question. Now, where is that Bactine...
• Dear Quidaver, There's nothing wrong with autopsy-erotic asphyxiation.
• Happy Valentines Day, everyone!*hugs*
• Awww you sent me big savings from DeLL! *squack!* You shouldn't have! (er, did ya take out the nospam part of it? cause the profile thingy wouldn't let me put spaces in there so it's all cornfusion.)
• *seethes*
• I did indeed take the nospam out. You no get? Pipe down, limey! You got yours!
• I got a lovely Valentine from Koko, courtesy of the Canadian Bible Society. I think it's her way of saying she's not going to put out.
• not yet, but maybe it takes time to get illegally . . umm . .email-tapped or whatever.
• *Nickdanger checks his cardboard "mailbox", counts valentines, counts awful chalky-heart things, eyeballs mailboxes of other monkeys, sticks tongue out at quidnunc kid, sulks.* IT IS NEVER ENOUGH!!! NEVER NEVER NEVER!!! I WILL NOT REST UNTIL ALL YOUR HEARTS ARE MINE TO ABUSE AS I SEE FIT!!!
• Is it drinkin' time already? *checks watch for ticky noise*
• Of course it is petebest - it's after 12....
• I want you all to thank me for not spamming you with that "All My Base Are Belong To You" thing. Required enormous restraint on my part.
• for Lara: "How glad the many millions of quod corpses and simians Would be to capture me But you had such persistence, you wore down my resistance I fell and it was swell How 'bout a big and brave and handsome romeo? If I'll win you I shall never never know It's not that I'm attractive But you make my heart grow active When your tagline comes into view I've got a crush on you, Lara-pie All the day and night-time give me sigh I never had the least notion that I could fall without so much an emoticon Flinging poo, preening hair In a monkey pavillion we could share The world will pardon my mush 'cause I have got a crush on you"
• Bravo, and seconded.
• ok! I have filled my hottub with champagne and those little chalk hearts, so please join me: The Underpants Monster MiddleClassTool The Quidnunc Kid Kitfisto Captain Renault The PeteBestCollective getting crowded in here! BearGuy Beeswacky MoneyJane Koko Nickdanger Fes Lara Ooga_Booga BlueHorse Chyren SPACE KITTY*THE_BONE*SEXY ROBOT TenaciousPettle Tracicle (no, it doesn't make me an ass-licker, it makes me a big slut!!) to those I have not listed and may have overlooked, I hope you VD boxes are filled with candy and naughty propositions! I love all the monkeys (well almost all...) and lust after many. Happy Fake Hallmark Buy Something To Show Yer Love Day. xxx MEDUSA
• *faints, melts and faints again* Somebody bring me the smelling salts so I can finish reading that poem! Ook!
• --->Zanshin too
• Shoulda got there by now pete. Email me with a *real* email address if you like, and I'll resend it.
• pick one!
• Woo-hoo! Hot Monkey Love-In!
• "You walk the plank o' me heart, me hearties: Medusa! Mandyman! Alnedra! Monkeybashi is #1, #1 is Monkeybashi! mothninja! the_bone & space_kitty! yentruoc! cheeky_monkey! Zanshin! Cali! ambrosia! gomichild! languagehat! Koko! Es El Queso! Wendell! flongj! Moneyjane! fish tick! SideDish! Abiezer! Hajen! mackerel! And, of course, that quiddy fellow."
• Beesy, Bluey, PBestey, Middletoolery, Koko-nutty, Fes-straighten your tie-ery, Cap Cardboard Cutout Renaulty, abiezery, nickdangery, kitfistory, lara-ry, moth-nery, livviry, islandery and othersery I SHOOT YOU ALL IN T EH BUM WITH MY AROW. Happy valentines, you crazy f*ckers.
• Happy Valentines Day to all monkeys of the fairer persuasion: Alnedra, bibliochick, BlueHorse, Koko, Lara, Mandyman, Medusa, Melinika, moneyjane, shinything, space_kitty, The Underpants Monster, tracicle... ...and any others I may have forgotten (or didn't know they were chicks).
• I'D SHOOT YOU TOO ROCKET BUT MY AROW IS STUCK IN SOEMONE'S BUM. PLESA GO GET IT>
• I think that everyone mentioned in this thread subsequently scanning their naughties and posting the images would make a fine capper to this Valentine's Day. 8===D That's me. (.)(.) Those are my wife's ta-tas.
• mct must be very smart.
• Again with the balls. WooO! Shake it mama!
• "My crushes know no bounds. To my virtual casanovas... BearGuy, Skrik, Mickster, Shotsy, Wedge, Kitfisto, Stynxno, Kmellis, and The [long lost] Onanist And to my virtual sexy seductresses... Tracicle, Patita, Livii, Melinika and TTNoelle Happy Valentine's Day to you all! May there be much love and chocolate in your future."
• "Mandyman, you rock my world like a mighty tectonic correction. You leave me adrift on the liquefaction of my heart."
• "Melinika, Thanks for trying to get me laid. Happy V-Day."
• Happy Valentines Day, Monkeys! I lurves ya one and all.
• my heart goes out to all of you sweet monkey loves and lovers.... *gasps* *puts it back*
• Yes... Still beating. Bring it to me, es el queso. It's... perfect.
• "Especially loving valentine wishes of eternal bliss for: tracicle and #2 Kimberly & jim_t the quidnunc kid & kitfisto"
• Much love to Alnedra, from the bizzle.
• oh, and this would be an appropriate gift, regardless of the fact that I live in warm climes, if anyone was wondering what to get for me.
• Hey! I took Queso's heart and dipped it in CHOCOLATE! Now it's even MORE romantic!!
• If you start wearing a mink willywarmer, maybe some cute PETA chick will come and stick chewing gum on your bits!
• If you start wearing a mink willywarmer, maybe some cute PETA chick will come and stick chewing gum on your bits!
• Oh, Underpants Monster, when you talk like that, you're my Baby with the Baboon Heart...
• I *heart* Medusa. There, I've said it.
• Pfft. What is your heart compared to a Batman Valentine?
• squeak! now I feel special :D
• To all the Hot Suocialist Sluts (tm) out there.. Dear Leader loves you baby
• I re-sent the Valentine and responded to your email hours ago, pete. If you get nothing it's because your email hates me. I hack you.
• when she lightheartedly spins her auburn hair around and then spears you with her 'oh so serious' gaze, softening the blow with a wry smile and possibly the protrusion of pierced tongue...ah, then, i am turned to stone for medusa... oh, and, uh, i love all you guys too...just not as much.
• oh and ps...i've got a really hot date with a really hot stud to see mexican wrestlers, bands, and burlesque at luca va-voom aaaannnnd...ive got a cold sore. *sigh* happy VD indeed...
• *weeps*
• oh and i love running my fingers through the fine hairs on koko's silver back...
• A big old Corporate Buy Candy To Show Your Affection Day shoutout to all my London/Cambridge monkeys (except quid because he smells funny). I'll get misty whenever I drink garlic beer. Also, moneyjane gets a wink, and I'll take one of those GramMa hugs. Two, if you've got extra.
• Oh, and Neddy is teh hawtness.
• oh and i love running my fingers through the fine hairs on koko's silver back I'll never shave my back again!
• Also, I ♥ rocket88 with 100 megatons of thrust.
• I want pork two-ways with all of you, damn it. Monkeys are so very very hawt. (replace "me" with "my productivity" above if you are in #mofirc)
• Way better than kit's fake knife.
• I got the regular email but no valentine yet . . . Unless it was a valentine for 20% off my purchase at the outdoors outfitters . . or the airfare specials of the week. Was that it? It's very pretty with the colors and the airplane and everything - I get the symbolism baby awwww yeah . . . let me just get this Barry White .mp3 queued up and we'll fly the friendly skies mmmm hmmmm! (Not sure about the meaning behind references to "Newark", "Dayton" or "San Antonio" but I'm sure they're sexayyy intimations!)
• "Flongj, I think you are funny ha ha, not funny looking. Now get to work and have a productive Valentine's Day!"
• "the_bone: Wishing you a truly rad Valentine's Day."
• Roses are red, Violets are blue Some crazyass bitch Done stoleded my canoe. Tabernac! The Sorrowful Valentine's Lament of Pierre, "The Sad Voyageur"
• *begins reading thread.* *gives up. greps "roryk".* *begins work on baroness koko moon von fascination shrine.*
• "My heart squeeees a beat every time Space Kitty is near."
• Yeah ... that's it! Enjoy your Spring Break Special, pete, from the bottom of my heart! begins work on baroness koko moon von fascination shrine I shall reward you with a lovely 360° view of Paris at night.
• Hey, all you LA monkeys, you know who you are! Special lovin' from the f8x comin' your way. Quid, you're my special sock monkey across the ocean. tracicle, I'm flinging extra poop (smells like lilacs!) your way. To everyone else, I love you, but I'm not in love with you. Peace.
• *grumble* /Hrrmph. As usual, I notice that while I was so busy brewing up and steeping this most excellent batch of cockpunch, presented to you in my finest heart-shaped carnival-glass bowl, just to make all these little ones happy, they damn well start without me. *shrugs* I loves ya all anyhow and now please, over here with those banana shaped goblets, quick and orderly.
• "roses are red, and so is my heart, valentines for roryk, and his great ASCII art!"
• Sweet, incomparable MonkeyFilter, what a strange effect you have on my heart! I look back to the early days of our acquaintance and friendship as to the days of love and innocence, and, with an indescribable pleasure, I have seen near a hundred score of FPPs roll over our heads with an affection heightened and improved by time and intoxication. With my heart I kiss your collective Monkeyship's hand, since I cannot with my lips. P.S. Hugs to all the MoFiLA and MoFiNY monkeys, and to all the others I have yet to meet. P.P.S. Apologies to Napoleon, Abigail Adams, and Pietro Bembo. Well, maybe not so much to Napoleon.
• *slyly slips a Valentine in... [OMG earthquake!] ...uh, all the people who linger at my MoFiblog, even the grumpy curmudgeonly types. You all make me laugh and are patient with me when I mess up. Thank you. there really was an earthquake while I typed, woah
• Big love to my MoFiLA peeps: mandyman, sexyrobot, squidranch, guava, wendell, f8x, hatred and spacekitten. An additional big hug to the SF crew, whom I will see next week. My Valentine's gift to Space Kitty is awesome. I'll post about it tonight after she gets it (please remove your minds from the gutter; that's not what I'm talking about).
• From an anonymous Monkey:
• "Valentine wishes to Space Kitten. Whose cuteness and verve have me smitten. Good luck with the 'op, and right back you will hop. Of this I am sure, for it's written!"
• Wow, Trac, I've heard of somebody making earth move for you, but THAT'S impressive. Must have been a collective Monkey lovin' thing. I'm afraid of making a list because I know I'll leave someone out. Hey all you posters up there! I keeess you. And you lurkers, too. You're the fizz in my ginger beer. And Quped, what a frabjous idea! * clutches paper valentine, macaroons, and somewhat wilted bouquet to her heart PETE_BEST! Put your pants on!
• Valentines abound; hearts a-flutter monkey-style. No poo flung today.
• "Gals I have crushed on to varying degrees: Space Kitty, Koko, medusa, Christophine, alnedra, bibliochick, mandyman, mothninja and quite possibly others. Cheers!"
• O my beloved monkeys: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. One. Two. Mmm, three. Ooh yeah, four. Five.... oh god... six... yes! Oh yes! SEVEN, BABY!!! SEVEN!!!!! er, excuse me a moment.
• "o quidnunc, beeswacky, Abiezer, court-jester, heart-charmer, hell-raiser, Count on me to come round And ice you all down If you're shot in the schlong with a tazer."
• Mr. Koko gave me season 2 of The Sopranos on DVD. *swoon!* And I just made my traditional chocolate covered strawberries.
• party at Koko's house!!
• As usual, nobody picks me. But I still reserve the right to harbor powerful crushes on some monkeys who will remain unnamed (much more fun that way)!
• You're not alone, cynnbad, no one picked me either...
• I MADE VAGUELY HEART-SHAPED PANCAKES FOR MY VALENTINE!!!!!!!
• Oh gosh, missed the thread until now. Thanks for the good wishes (sexy seductress? oh, em, gee), and I'll send them to, er, I'll forget people for sure but at the very least I have to mention 'Nika, 'Neddy, tracicle, mothninja, patita, minda, skrik, storybored, petebest (or one of him) and of course quiddy and everyone who's sent me CDs in the CDX and presents from monkeygifts and erm, all of you because I suck and am forgetting people. /normally passes entirely on VD, but monkeys are <3
• See! I knew I would miss people. cabingirl, get on the list. :D
• ooooo pancakes..... *flutters eyelashes in Nickdanger's direction*
• Oh, how I love thee monkeyfilter, and all the monkeys therein! Just like shouts-out, I don't dare single anyone out for fear of forgetting someone special. xoxoxoxxo! (and the gift? is COMPLETELY AWESOME!)
• For Valentine's Day, I gave Space Kitty a shag.* Not that kind... I got her a signed print by the artist SHAG (Josh Agle). Specifically, this one (Virgo is her sign), from a Zodiac series he did a couple of years ago . [She got me a signed 1st edition of Bagombo Snuff Box by Kurt Vonnegut. Rad] * Thanks to the ladies of #mofirc for that joke; uncharacteristically, I wasn't even thinking along those lines
• Aw... no one picked me, neither! Ah well. My Valentine and I are thinking of getting a kitty and naming it Chuck Norris, so I'm still excited!
• Meredithea! my medieval protege...special medieval valentine's to you! name the cat werzog, it will never get its ass kicked!!
• /reads VD note from Medusa up-thread and blushes Back at ya'
•          Mickey           Medusa        cabingirl:       :BlueHorse      Abiezer_Coppe:   :Alnedra:Koko:    Pallas Athena:Fes :Capt. Renault:::   :The Underpants Monster:Flagpole:Lara  Simian XX:Nickdanger:Space Kitty:Wolof:  Story Bored:Suomynona:VertexOfLife:loto  Weezel::Zanshin::armaghetto::beeswacky:   cynnbad:dxlifer:es el Queso:f8xmulder    fish tick:gomichild:guava:islander:     kitfisto:layne, lady layne:livii:      mandyman:meredithea:moneyjane:        middleclasstool:ooga_booga:          pita:petebest:petebest2            rocket88:sexyrobot:              shinything:the_               bone:surlyboi                 tracicle                 tracicle                  patita                  the qu                   idnu                    nc       aw man, couldn't finish that last one.
• *sniff* that's just beautiful roryk....
• wow, this has been my bestest valentine's day ever!
• Mine too, cheese-man. Mine too.
• feck, i invented a monkey called "pita"
• I thought you were just hungry. Ditto -- best Valentine's Day ever. Thank you monkeys! Big sloppy kisses for all and groping for some.
• Yeah, this totally makes up for all thos traumatic grade-school Valentine parties. Babanas to Cupid!
• *passes around post-valentine discounted choccies to all*
• Thank you all for the word-fondling.
• I can't believe I forgot cabingirl and cynnbad in my monkey-ette Valentine list...and I've had crushes on both of them in past threads, too!
• roryk, you rock! That's awesome. Also, is it too soon to call this the Best. Thread. of. 2006? Gimme some of them marked down choccies!
• Aw, thanks Medusa and roryk! I wonder if I named the kitty Chuck (Werzog) Norris if it would be completely invulnerable and immortal? Hmmmm...
• Thank you livii and roryk and rocket88...you know how to make a girl feel special!
• See, I spend one afternoon actually working and then I miss out on all of the V-day fun. For my part, much love to tracicle for keeping the monkey train on the internets. And for all the rest of you, hope your day was good. (Or if you're one of the bitter unattached people who hate VD, I at least hope that you got good and drunk.)
• That I did, frogs, that I did.
• roryk, I feel honoured to have a place in your heart!
• Justify your censorship however you want.
• Thank you, anonymous monkeys, for the valentines. V-Day was pretty rough, but coming home to read Mofi and finding those made everything so much better! I do love you monkey folk.
• Ook! Ook!
• way late to the game, but mucho love to you all!
• Roryk! You Rocyk!
• Group hug! *bam* Group hug! *bam* Group hug! *bam* *bangs HAMMER™ on table for attention*
• You go, Alnedra. Hammer that lovin' home!
• no one loves me. typical.
• No, HW, it's just that nobody can speak those words, even anonymously. The love is too great. *offers discount valentine chocolate and runs away, blushing*
• And now, my bright idea for this week. A "Men of Monkeyfilter" calendar!
• But would you try to put the entire petebest collective on one page? Or just choose one representative to keep the page from getting crowded? If you're choosing just one, I vote for petebest 3.14159. He's the all-round best of the petesbest.
• Mmmmmm, pie ...
• HWingo, just remember that you will be soaking in my hottub filled with discount champagne tonight (with other cute monkeyladies) whilst those other boys languish in despair ;)
• I hate all of you. *sob*
• Lara, you made my day. And Medusa, . . . I can't make it tonight :(
• LUZER!!!
• seriously, sorry to hear you can't make it HW, but look on the bright side, now MCT doesn't hate you
• Well, petebest would be on the main page of that month, with smaller pictures of the petebestiary on each day.
• petebestiary Hey! Laughed out loud. Ain't it the trut' though. Oh, and now that the holidays over, GramMa sez you can get your hands out of each other's pants. You, YOU!! I'm talkin' to YOU! buncha preverts
• Ha! Pants! Good one GramMa!
• Oh you, Petebest! **smiles, pinches chubby cheeks**
• snuggled between tracicle and quidnunc! that's quite a fate! thanks roryk :)
• Okay It's a little late coming back from post-production, but I made a video of myself as a valentine card for you all. Hope you enjoy it.
• *takes off hazmat suit* All clear, people -- the video is SFW!
• SFW? But he's naked!
• And barkin' like a wild animal!
• Hey I'm workin' hard to enunciate! Don't playa hate! Appreciate!
• Sex with a partner is 400% better Stuart Brody of the University of Paisley, UK, and Tillmann Krüger of the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Zurich, measured blood prolactin levels in male and female volunteers who watched erotic films before engaging in masturbation or sexual intercourse to orgasm in the laboratory. Surprisingly, after orgasm from sexual intercourse, the increase in blood prolactin levels is 400 per cent higher in both sexes compared with after orgasm from masturbation
• Next up on the agenda: Eating Food Makes You No Longer Hungry!
• So four wanks is equivalent to one shag?
• Don't tell quid.
• Dammit. First I see how much bigger my tax refund would be if I was married, and now this?
• "So four wanks is equivalent to one shag?" What if it's done four times as fast? Or four times as loud? Or with four times the porn?
• And what kind of levels did the study find for masturbation-with-a-Real-Doll? Not that the answer has any impact on me. Just curious. To know if kit's purchase was justified.
• Ah, damn you, funny chemicals inside our brains...
• These dudes obviously don't know how to wank right. *gets out foot pump*
• Oh, not again, kit. *gets ready to dial paramedics' number*
• Now you know why he's not allowed into all those countries.
• Yeah, I'm on a whole bunch of no-wank lists.
• All right, all you Monkeys geddoudda this post. We need to start preparing for St. Paddy's Day. Warzog knows, if you can make such a mess on a day that's NOT devoted to the devil's brew, we better start preparing early for the 17th. *starts sweeping, picks up old valentines and Pete's pants, tosses out the window*
• pete owns pants?
• St. Patrick's Day is my birthday :D and its a friday this year. I demand you all get drunk in my honor!! you've got a few weeks to practice if you need, so don't waste them!
• they're ceremonial pants. According to tradition, before Medusa's birthday (and/or St. Patrick's Day, whichever comes first), GramMa throws them out the window to signal the start of high hilarity and wacky hijinks. Beer is customarily served.
• Beer, you say? If you haven't tried this delightful drink, then you, my friend, are in for a treat!
• And I hear it's made from yeast! *shudder*
• Well, not made from exactly, although they do float a little bit of yeast around in it. Full of B-12, etc.
• I like to wear pete's pants on my head *this rings a bell* *waits otside the window*
• I demand you all get drunk in my honor!! GramMa! Medusa's makin' us drink! GramMa? Why does GramMa smell like old bread? And why is she singing that song about the sailor?
• *brings in pancakes* *starts singing songs about hedgehogs*
• *starts practicing for Medusa's birthday* *hands Alnedra maple syrup*
• Pancakes. Maple syrup. Oh, I die here. Now, if only someone brought a little carrot juice... *sits at table and holds plate, makes puppy eyes to Alnedra & Meredithea*
• mmmmm pancakes....green pancakes?
• No, beer pancakes! I kid you not. I made a stack of pancakes last week using only beer and pancake mix. Came out quite all right.
• Alnedra, you have given me St Paddy's day inspiration. Ooh, what about ginger beer?
• Oh noes, not the ginger beer trick!
• *shudders, sneezes involuntarily*
• it's Pancake Tuesday tomorrow! Yay - pancakes for tea!
• Mmm, the vaunted cakes of Pan, god of the woodland. I will ENJOY THEM! *lightning*
• Some call them . . . Tim?
• Ash Wednesday tomorrow--I heard a rumor a few Monkeys are giving up beer for Lent. The rest of youn's are going to hell...but the beer's cold there!
• I'm giving up anchovies.
• I'm going to hell...where I will order a large platter of pancakes, some beer and some brimstone...
• Suds on a bed and damn 'em! $9.38 sweetheart. *pops gum*
• I'm only 323 days late to this thread... but I *feeels* the lubb... Awwws, Koko!
• Maybe you're only 41 days early for 2007?
• No cuts! *practices kissy-lips*
• Well, as the local shops already have the hearts and candy on the shelves, perhaps I am just in time! Now, now, roryk. I would have you on my list, indeed!
• My favorite holiday is February 15: "Cheap Chocolate for Spinsters Day."
• *tapes brown paper bag with construction-paper heart and doily decoration to side of desk, waits expectantly*
•