February 13, 2006

• Bah. Valentine's Day just means you've bought into the corporate mentality, man. You've seen the ads, and shelled out your money, man. So you've proven your love for another year with a stupid bear holding a heart, man. Like you need a specific day to celebrate your love, and like you need some caplitalist machine to tell you when that day is, man. You've sold out, maaaaaaaaan. I used to respect you, but now you're just a narc. Yeah, I'm still single. STFU.
• Shh! I'm trying to get my hog serviced here, dy'mind? *arranges flowers nicely*
• Milk bath, dude. Milk bath.
• I just called a florist. They said that they are not delivering tomorrow. They are only doing pickup. I thought it odd, but said it was fine. I told them I wanted to place an order. They told me that was not necessary and all I needed to do was stop in tomorrow and make the purchase. I asked if he thought it might be possible that they would run out of something on Valentine's Day. He said no. Should I call someone else?
• yup.
• Forget flowers, bernockle. Wear nothing but a hand-made card (where? that's up to you) and your best simle, and she'll be delighted when you show up. Specially if you meet her at her workplace. Guaranteed success. And, I'm much more partial to Jell-O, Capt.
• I used to work at a florist shop. Definitely call someone else.
• Unless you want to be picking up a bundle of wilted, oddly-dyed carnations in the grocery store at 11pm tomorrow in a frantic bid to fix things.
• The first time I had a real live GF on Valentine's Day, I spent a few hours cutting out paper flowers and putting a sizable bouquet together. I gave it to my true love, who was a bit surprised to find out that we were going out. Oops. But she came around in a pretty severe way not too long after that, and kept begging me to send her a letter. I sent a giant "Q". It was the beginning of the end.
• Go against the trend. What could be less romantic than a Valentine's dinner at a McDonalds in Walmart? Chuck E Cheese? A local dive with Karaoke? Rent a horror movie, watch at home with TV dinners and Budweiser. Go to a greasy spoon, put bring a tablecloth, placemats, candles, silverware, and ham it up.
• (the candy heart link is suspiciously familiar) this gave me a laugh:
• should have gone with an "M" there Cap'n. Good point NE - what's everybody's plan for Valentine's Day Night? 'cause I need some idears
• 
• petebest - I'm treating her to chicken soup, vapo-rub, antibiotics and robitussin. One wild night for my lady friend, indeed! (Your mileage may vary)
• On Wednesday I'll be celebrating "Cheap Chocolate for Spinsters Day."
• DANCING MY ASS OFF.
• I'm treating her to chicken soup, vapo-rub, antibiotics and robitussin. One wild night for my lady friend, indeed! You sick fuck.
• I like the Roman antecedent Lupercalia! Line up for the goat skin! As for fun V-Day related links, I posted some last year on my blog. You can take your pick of the sweet or the twisted. Beware! That last one is wrong.
• Am I the only one around here that thinks Valentines Day is stupid? It's like New Years Eve-day to get drunk, day to get fucked. One should do those things all year round, as often as possible. Although if you guys are dating women who take this sort of thing seriously I might recommend: dinner at a superb restaurant, anything in cashmere, especially a blanket, 1200 thread count sheets (only if you are married), several bottles of Veuve Clicquot and erotic poetry, perhaps a copy of Delta of Venus. Chocolate is silly unless you know she loves it. Expecting sex is silly as well, I mean, this is an a holiday created by Hallmark or someone. I'm not going to put out just because some card company says I should. Also, just love the person, you silly fucks. xoxo gentlemen, you may all start your engines.
• Am I the only one around here that thinks Valentines Day is stupid? It's like New Years Eve-day to get drunk, day to get fucked. One should do those things all year round, as often as possible. For once, Blanky, I understand you and I agree. *makes a note on the calendar*
• I'm not going to put out just because some card company says I should. Heretic! C'moooonnnn baby . . oooo yeahh . . . bow chicka bow!
• I am going to have sex with another woman's husband tomorrow :D
• Awright, but only because you have a good vocabulary, you filthy, consumerist bow wow. Wreck it for the Readers Digest, but only in medias res. I'll probably get rescued by someone else. Someone with nectarine juice.
• Also Medusa- great idea but watch out for the pubes-they vary in color and most men know that stuff. Change the sheets or start a very intense conversations about vitamins. I'm assuming that you are serious.
• 
• Blanky, thanks for the advice. It so happens that the wife in question and I have the same coloring, both carpet and drapes. I dont personally have any discretionary issues, but the husband sort of does. I am a very very bad person :D
• Uncle just showed me the V-Day card I'm getting my wife.
• Hey, if a card company says I should peel the big banana, who am I to argue?
• I have to wait a whole month before I'll even get a whiff of a choccie. Valentine's Day is just for boys here. Although at least it means that there are two days set outside for official lovin' in Japan.
• I'm not going to put out just because some card company says I should. I will!
• ...just because some card company says I should. Depends in which card company it is. AmEx, Visa, MC?
• Medusa, I shall be cheating on my wife on valantines day. So yes you are a very bad person.
• Randomaction, are you trying to tell me I am having lunch with YOU this afternooon???
• Er, you people saw that link on Mefi about Valentine's being the day more P.I.s catch cheating couples, didn't you..?
• yes
• wutz yr point?
• Gosh no, not with you, we're not even on the same continent, and haven't been introduced. Anyhoo I'm no longer married, hope your lunch went better.
• hasnt happened yet. did yours not go well?
• lol i is only joking, my valentine usually involves a hacked cc number, a proxy server, and a little know direct access site in the Ukraine. That or posting inanities on the web, and eating green & blacks gorgeous chocolate ice cream.
• sweet
• mmmm ice cream...
• Got myself completely hammered on Orval, the Captain's Favourite. The liquor store had a batch in -- it hasn't had one in a few years -- and I had to take full advantage. That was some gooooooood self-lovin'. Only today I'm not feeling too happy to be "alive".
• Hit Chuck E Cheeze with another couple. Nothing says romantic valentine more than a whole lot of screaming kids playing games, and lukewarm pizza that won't burn a child's mouth. Next year, maybe we'll go to a hospital cafeteria.
• I had Valentine's pizza! It wasn't heart-shaped but it had meatballs, so, you know. You don't? Neither do I.