February 10, 2006

Gumwad - another scheme to make money. You donate, he chews gum. If this guy makes a million I'm gonna scream.
posted by tellurian 18 years ago
  • **sticks gum underneath this thread**
  • Hey, this gum is still warm. *chew* *chew* *chew*
  • *yawns*
  • hey i have an idea! how about a gum chain letter- chew it once and pass it along until 1,000,000 people have chewed it... i just need to figure out how to make money off it.
  • I'll give you five bucks if you can get a million people to chew the same piece of gum. Hell, maybe $20 - that's some entertainment. Now you just need a bunch more suckers like me...
  • Excellent! I love it when a plan comes together!
  • I bet if someone put up a website that just said "Give me all your money, bitches!!!" they'd make a million dollars. ... I gotta go...
  • I had a similar idea, asking for $1 donations for me to jerk off into a teacup. Unfortunately, "fuckwad.com" was already taken.
  • It is set to expire on me in May. I will re-purchase the rights and allow you to use them as long as I can get the teacup at the end.
  • So you can use my fecund seed to grow an army of mutant homunculi? Very well.
  • OK, that's it. There's no reason on Mothra's Big Blue Earth that we monkeys, who must have at least one brain between us, can't come up with a fuckass stupid way to make people give us a million bucks. Since we have to split it 4,000 ways, maybe we need more than a million. Get those fingers out of that poo and figure something out, will ya?
  • Actually, I just want it because I collect teacups. An army could come in handy, though.
  • MonkeyFilter: Get those fingers out of that poo!
  • An army can collect many teacups!
  • Anybody know how the IRS collects their take from these guys?
  • If he received $1,000,000 in donations, and spent a total 15 seconds chewing each piece of gum, he would have to chew gum continuously, eight hours a day, for nearly a year and a half. God, what a year of hell it would be. It would be a major piece of industry to manage chewing a million pieces of gum, let alone assembling the wad, keeping up the blog, and collecting the money. Not to worry, if he ever makes more than a couple hundred dollars (an outrageously generous estimate in my opinion) I'll eat my hat and not charge you a nickel. As for the IRS, basically he's doing business as a sole proprieter. It's just income, he'd have to file like any self-employed person. Like anybody with a tip jar on their blog, as long as he stays insignificant he could probably dodge it but if it got famous enough to be worth anything it would obviously get him looked at.
  • Old joke: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? -Bubble gum
  • nanojath, I applaud your math but there is no commitment to chew in a specified time. As of this posting he has $6 - a long way to go for me to scream, but may I ask, what sort of hat do you wear?
  • MonkeyFilter: Anybody know how the IRS collects their take from these guys? Ahhhh...That felt good.