February 08, 2006

Foul death prevented, not by strangling the chicken, but blowing it.

No, no don't panic - you are at MonkeyFilter not Fark. PS Hajen made me do it.

  • Let hilarity ensue...
  • Of course, had it been a rooster instead of a chicken, she'd be a real...
    cocksucker. Oh, my.
  • "I breathed into its beak, and its dadgum eyes popped open," Morris said. ok what does "dadgum" mean? doggone dagnabit i think it's hickish for god damn it's a way of saying "goddamn" that's not a curse but without using god damn right oh cheers the wonders of ameringlish I bet Morris really said something worse than "dadgum" at the time like goldarn? or jumpin jehosophat or gee willickers translated into Australian would be "and stone the crows its bloody peepers popped mate!" haha ROFL and that is exactly how it would be printed in an Aussie newsrag too
  • That which was averted was a death most fowl.
  • If that don't beat all - shucks! Shoot, but it's a fahn thang to have a lahv chicken post.
  • Worst accent ever. You don't sound remotely heterosexual.
  • yeah for booboo!
  • A retired nurse saved her brother's chicken That's when I started laughing. If it gets any funnier, I'll wait until being at home to read it.
  • Can it really be called "The Kiss of Life" when one of the parties is lipless? I'm just sayin'.
  • You don't sound remotely heterosexual. I resemble that remark! But -er- not much.
  • i choked my chicken once...
  • Booboo Blowing Prevents Chicken Choking
  • Can it really be called "The Kiss of Life" when one of the parties is lipless? I'm just sayin' Oh. Yes. It can.
  • Dadgum fractilid I don't think any of us want to see MoFi becoming a place of lip-elitism. Bite your tongue!
  • oooops... it's "i" before "a" except after "fract"...
  • can i be the first to call lushbit on the claim that dadgum is some sort fo safe way to say goddamn?
  • Q. What Is The Difference Between `Kinky' And `Erotic?' A. With `Kinky' You Use The Whole Chicken. Kiss me you lipless wonder!!
  • can i be the first to call lushbit on the claim that dadgum is some sort fo safe way to say goddamn? The American Heritage Dictionary begs to agree.
  • "Dadgum" is one step closer to Grizzled-Old-Prospector-English than "Goldurn." Hurrah for Boo Boo! I did CPR on the cat once, but it was to no avail.
  • I did mouth-to-snout and CPR on a newborn puppy once. He's 6 years old now!
  • You sick fuck.
  • I, er, first encountered fowl mouth-to-mouth in PBS's fantastic Natural History of the Chicken*, in which an elderly New England woman re-enacts reviving her partially frozen chicken. The show is both hysterical and poignant, and I try to catch it every time it's on. Now available on DVD!
  • > an elderly New England woman re-enacts reviving her partially frozen chicken *off to the supermarket freezer section to try this out*
  • What is the matter with you people today? **puts on rubber gloves** **plucks frozen hen carcass from Roryk's blue, chicken-pimpled shivering arms, wipes liver-lips, returns fowl to freezer chest** **smacks Roryk with rubber chicken, glares around looking for Kitfisto**
  • **puts on rubber gloves** Oooowww yeah... ; )
  • Poem: "Martha Stewart Living" by Leon Rooke A man at the Dominion was looking long and hard at chicken breasts, first at economy trays then at smaller portions, finally hefting the smaller and saying to the woman nudging his rear, 'Do you suppose these are free-range chickens?' The woman shouldered him aside. She was in a hurry, she said, and in no mood for asinine chit-chat. 'But no,' she said, scurrying away, 'I don't suppose those are free-range. I suppose those are dead chickens.' At which point, or actually about thirty seconds later, the man said to me, 'Some days I am happy I never married.'