January 26, 2006

• Our republic is doomed.
• oh, my, she's freaky looking.
• She looks like my cousin who, in the process of studying to become a nurse, failed her intro anatomy and physiology class. I'm gonna go drink until I forget I have a family.
• It's Paris Hilton without the money.
• Either that, or an Afghan hound that's learned to talk, sort of.
• How do you tan plastic like that without it melting?
• What's wrong with her face? It can't just be the makeup, can it? OMG, IAS,L,ROTFLMVFAO! OMG, tHanKies, LoVe Muchers, er....something like that. Seriously, that makes my skin crawl.
• I would. Shoot her in the face.
• I feel bad when people's dreams die. I just can't help it. It's like a sickness I have. Clearly it's better to mock and laugh at the pathetic losers when they lose. There must be some kind of medication I can take. Empathatrol or something. I'll ask my doctor.
• Worse than Barbie come to life. Barbie has a brain, ie, how else could she become a vet, and president? but this girl? she puts BLOND JOKES to shame!
• Sorry, I didn't mean to spoil anyone's fun. And I wasn't being sarcastic or ironic. I really feel bad for her. So keep your chin up, super tan girl, it's just a setback, pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and climb back on your magic pony ride to the stars.
• I saw this last weekend, and I'm conflicted. She was, I'll admit, jaw-droppingly stupid. But I ended up feeling bad for her. I think it's because Simon Cowell is such a studiedly unsympathetic arsehole, that I ended up rooting for the no-hopers on principle. On the other hand, I never want to see her on my television again. She does seem to have plenty in reserve in the self-confidence stakes, though, and she really, really, like, OMG, desperately wants, like, this fame thing, you know? So I’m thinking, depressingly, she'll probably end with her own reality show. And then her mother will come round and force me to watch it.
• She's just a symptom.
• Her mother was pretty horrible. At least the daughter has the excuse of youth's folly. She has a chance to grow up and (hopefully) see how ridiculous she's acting.
• She's like half anime or something. She also doesn't seem to have nostrils. However, she doens't seem any less irritating or fake than anyone else I've seen on that show. I love reality tv, but I simply do not understand American Idol.
• "Umm. I tan?" "Nooooo." Gold. That is gold.
• I demand a refund
• I went to see Body Worlds at the Science Centre last week. A German scientist has developed a method for plasticizing cadavers, to preserve them, and then put them on display. I think this girl is playing the home game. Remember, kids, if someone tells you that repeated exposure to infrared tanning booths is completely safe -- they're wrong. Your future will be all about plastics.
• As I went back to get the link to IM it to a friend something hit me - she is only 16?? And looks like that already? What happened to looking natural and fresh faced? What is the youth of today up to? When did it become cool to look late twenties post plastic surgery???
• shakes her fist at the kids on her lawn
• Can I buy an "l"?
• But seriously, though -- Boot to the head! Maa Naa! Boot to the head! Maa Naa! Boot to the head! Maa Naa! Boot! To! The! Head! There's my American Idol song, dedicated to this oxygen-deprivation machine, her mom with the crack-whore legs, and the culture of racing-to-the-bottom which produced them both.
• That's the problem with the youth of today, they pick the wrong role-models. Where are the young girls who wish to emulate Richard Feynman? That would be hot.
• Boy, does she sing like ass. I wish you had warned us, Jane, I just had to do a flying dive for the off button of my speakers.
• wow, mocking a 16 year old girl. awesome. go MoFi!
• I saw this when it aired initially too. It was pretty much a given from the time the door swung open that she was going to go down in flames. Still... However, I felt bad for her that Simon called in her mother (He obviously had been forwarned as to the similarity in horrible tans and makeup between mother and daughter by the production team.) It was good for a cheap laugh, but it's downright mean. That said, much like posting your live journal on the internets, if you put yourself out there in front of the public eye, you risk being ridiculed. It's the nature of the beast. Additionally, I'm sure both her and the mother probably think they're the hottest things EVAR!! So, a little dose of reality might do 'em some good. She's probably that stupid because she thinks she's so hot. And that's just a downward spiral. At 16, it might work for her. At 25, she's gonna be in a world of hurt.
• See, this is my problem with democracy. People like her -- their vote counts just as much as mine. I know it's how it has to be, but it's just so depressing.
• Feel free to ridicule me for this sentence, as I have put it on the internets for all to see "Still... However, I felt bad for her..." Still... However?! WTF?! OMGBBQ!!!!! /pulls trigger
• 
• wow, mocking a 16 year old girl. awesome. go MoFi!/ starry: Also... anyone who adds two extra "3s" to the (barf) heart symbol... and actually writes "muchers" deserves ridicule... 16 or no... in my opinion anyway... Chy: Would you hit it with peanut butter and jelly? or just plain...
• With cheese, for something this grilled.
• Yeah, she's annoying and all that. But... wait... is that a Star of David on her chest? Egads. My ethnic group sucks more than I thought.
• And to Capt. Renault, who has served me faithfully for so many years, I leave my whole...entire... boot to the head.
• wow, mocking a 16 year old girl. awesome. go MoFi! #1 Anyone who chooses to go on national tv and perform damn well better expect to be completely ridiculed. AFAIAC, it's the American way. #2 This girl needs to be prepared for the real world; we're just doing our part. #3 If we ridicule her enough maybe she will learn her lesson and become a much more 'aware' human being who realizes that the world, in fact, does NOT revolve around her--no matter what her mommy tells her and that there are consequences that go along with our choices. #4 Mocking 16-year olds is like, OMG, my favorite pastime. Don't take that away from me.
• When she reached down for those growly notes, she kinda reminded me of Waits and Beefheart, so y'know, mad props for that... I'm not a fan of mocking folks... but I make exceptions for vacuous, self-entitled, no talents like dear little Crystal, who'll be appearing in a porno near you in about three years.
• When she reached down for those growly notes, she kinda reminded me of Waits... You. Take. That. BACK.
• I think the blow-up doll is doomed to gang-banging, too.
• Seems like it's just as tough for contestants out there in Ethiopia.... 'Pop idol' fever sweeps Ethiopia Some singers have been told that they have voices like donkeys or dogs.
• I actually looked at her blog... can someone explain what the <3333, <333, <33333, etc is? It's used a lot like smilies and LOL. I may have seen it before somewhere else, but I can't make heads or tails of it.
• Ok, I just read Debaser626's comment and now I've figured it out.
• See, this is why Paris Hilton needs to be taken down before any more of our youth are lost to her.
• Not to be smug or anything, but if you didn't have a TV you wouldn't have to know who this person was. Unless you had an internet connection, of course. That's where the whole thing breaks down...
• >>can someone explain what the <3333<< For the longest time I thought they were supposed to be boobies.
• Pants, you dope. They're obviously side-ways butts.
• mct: NEVAR!!! (One of my deepest wishes is to watch an Tom Waits-themed American Idol episode, with the man himself as a guest judge... Imagine Crystal belting out 'Telephone Call From Istanbul' while banging on an empty gasoline drum with a burro's femur... or, if Tommy couldn't make it, some Motörhead would make for some good TV.)
• I haven't watched the video yet, so I don't know what you all are talking about, but I'm with Darshon. Whenever there's mocking of 16-year-old girls to be done, count me in!
• I found it odd how Ryan Secrest was suddenly the hard-hitting journalist asking all those questions. If only real journalists grilled politicians the same way!
• In her own harmless way, she's cute. She makes me think of the time I used to wear a punk safety pin in my cheek...
• Ah, you lovable, zany, incorrigible bunch of degenerate cretins, I love you one and all. I agree pretty much with the author of this article. By the time Idol contestants get to any of the rounds where they get to meet the Gang Of 3, they've already been through 2 audition rounds. It's pretty obvious that Idol (and Fox, 19 Management etc) have a policy of ensuring that ridicule-worthy contestants like Crystal make it to those rounds, presumably at the expense of people with real talent, since judging round numbers are limited, because otherwise how else would we get to appreciate Cowell's unique brand of up-beat motivational advice? At best, it's cynical and exploitive. It's also sad, and at times borders on defining 'cringeworthy' - not just in listening to Crystal trying to put two coherent sentences together, but in knowing how much effort went into making damn certain an audience of millions got to sit in front of their idiot boxes and giggle at Crystal's expense. Now, pardon me while I watch something at least a little educational, such as National Geog-oooh boobies! See, this is my problem with democracy. Ain't no such thing, baby. Ain't no such thing.
• At least Rome's circus gladiators had to actually know how to swing a sword. Otherwise, pretty much the same old song, dance, and slaughter.
• There are two pre-audition selection rounds before contestants are allowed to meet the judges. Clearly then, the show's army of "talent" spotters deliberately sent Derek, Crystal and the others crashing and burning onto national television, in the sure and certain knowledge that humiliation means ratings. I've always suspected this. Nice to see it confirmed.
• I recently watched an episode of the "Top 40 pranks of all time." I've never followed Amer. Idol much, with the exception of the inundation of William Hung, but apparently one guy totally fooled the "talent" spotters into letting him on the show. He did some cheesy white boy rap in front of Abdul, Cowell, and the other dude, and of course was dismissed. I don't think he actually made it on air, due to the fact that that during the "exit interview" in which the camera follows you as you leave the audition room through the lobby, he uttered about two words: "Mother" and "Jesus." The rest was a non-stop sampling of curse words, mostly containing some variation of "fuck" Pretty funny stuff...
• Which is worse? * A no-talent 16-year-old girl who goes on American Idol and gets slammed or * A media company that thinks showing the audition of a no-talent 16-year-old girl on national television is a wonderful bit of entertainment or * People who watch a no-talent 16-year-old girl audition for American Idol on national television and think it's funny because she's a freak and it's obvious she shouldn't have even tried If you want to stop the race to the bottom, you can't just let off the accelerator; you have to actually turn around! Stop watching American Idol!
• or * people discussing it on the internets
• I don't know about the rest of you, but I totally had my shit together as a 16 year old. I wasn't some spaz with a deep appreciation for bright red lipstick. And I *never* wore tights with shorts and open toed german comfort shoes.
• *hides old plaid ska jacket*
• If you want to stop the race to the bottom, you can't just let off the accelerator; you have to actually turn around! Stop watching American Idol! Actually TV Turnoff week gets closer every day.
• Actually TV Turnoff week gets closer every day. Does it count as TV if you only download it?
• oh god I couldn't finish watching that. Is that botox at work? Cause, tan or no, skin shouldn't...flex...like that.
• Stop watching American Idol! Odds are very good that most monkeys, including myself don't watch American Idol. Because watching tv makes you stupid! Unlike the internet! Not knowing what goes on in current pop culture doesn't make anyone particularily virtuous, nor more intelligent than the masses, and never has. Everything that made American Idol made us too, and to dismiss that is dangerous. I don't like bird flu either, but I know a hell of a lot about it because it serves me to know the enemy.
• Actually, I'm worse than all of those things.
• He is. I haven't met him.
• I met bird flu once. It was wearing socks with sandals so I gasped and walked quickly away.
• Not knowing what goes on in current pop culture . . . is totally awesome. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go into the hole I dug in my backyard to wear my ex-wife's wedding dress.
• I loves bird flu! You leave him alone!!1
• ...to wear my ex-wife's wedding dress. That's hawt.
• "...but I totally had my shit together as a 16 year old. Ye gods, so did I. Sad to think that I was getting more action than I am now. Has something to do with being cocky and naive. And, before the alcoholism started, twenty pounds lighter. And dealing with equally horny and naive girls. Some people wish they could go back to high school. I'd only want to go back knowing what I know now. I'd totally clean up. God, I need a drink. Where'd I put that Famous Grouse?
• Capt. Renault, you pretty much took the words right outta my mouth.
• *hides old plaid ska jacket* You can't NOT be cool with a plaid ska jacket.
• Presumably, any one interested in being on AI has watched it. Therefore, if they are VERTEBRATES and have a PULSE they should be able to figure out that the early auditions are "rigged" for max cruel entertainment value at the expense of sexy little thangs like crystal and wm. hung. For some, *FAME* the glittering, elusive, amorphous thing, is the end-all. being on tv is a symptom or manifestation thereof. some people will do anything to be on tv/achieve some vague fame. they may be incapable of being humiliated. I for one, greatly enjoy sadistic, gratuitous cruelty in my entertainment. I have only ever watched the early parts of a season of AI, so I can laugh at the losers. Except William Hung!! he was so HAWT!!! I still want to adopt him :D
• my point being, like, um...they were totally asking for it, so laugh away!!
• *jumps around behind Medusa while she's posting, making faces, throwing gang signs* /on_tv
• And whatever happened to teenage rebellion and sulkiness? I mean, look at Mom; shouldn't the kid be a depressed monosyllabic Goth setting shit on fire in the bathroom? I'm going to try and photoshop this concept.
• More like this, maybe...
• Sulkiness? Judging by the after-I-humiliated-myself-and-I-don't-know-it interview sulkiness is right at the top of her personality. It's in there with denial-beyond-denial-and-into-delusional-reality-space. Future porn star. Definitely.
• What moneyjane said. My (hippie chick) mom didn't give me a whole lot to rebel against and I still ended up as a sulky, semi-riot grrrl firebug. I can only imagine what I could have accomplished with *that* lady as my mom!
• polychrome, I concur. the dregs of the porn industry has a place for that chick...
• I made the mistake of reading one of her myspace entries in which she said something like "nobody loves me, I'm so emotional, I should just marry a goth guy and we can cry together." So moneyjane's photoshop might, frighteningly, come true.
• This strikes me as some strange anime-OC-Fame-Gilmore Girls crossover universe. Being such an approval/celebrity junkie is usually a good recipe for od'ing in a cheap hotel room before your 35.
• So moneyjane's photoshop might, frighteningly, come true. What have I done? Dear God, what have I done?!
• dang it, the video isn't working for me. anyone have a direct link to it?
• This strikes me as some strange anime-OC-Fame-Gilmore Girls crossover universe. How dare you malign the name of the Gilmore Girls in such a way. Do you watch the show? Are you aware of the tension between Luke and Lorelei, now that they found out that Luke has an illegitimate 12-year-old daughter? Do you care nothing for what this might do to their wedding plans? Do you feel nothing for Rory, and her conflicting feelings about her charming but kind of assy boyfriend at Yale? And what of poor Lane, forced to leave her tormented boyfriend and bandmate, effectively scuttling that band and her dreams of stardom? Not to mention poor, beleaguered Kirk, who may never find the right place to fit in at Star's Hollow, doomed forever to be Taylor's well-meaning lackey? Have you no shame?
• mct, my wife has a boxed set of every episode of the first five or six seasons. I don't think they have had those episodes you mention here (oz) yet.
• Yes, and how dare they air a rerun right after Luke postpones the wedding! No, really. How dare they?
• So I've ruined that for your household, then? GOOD! sorry, didn't know!
• Oh, and I probably added to the ruination. I'm sorry too.
• Do you feel nothing for Rory, and her conflicting feelings about her charming but kind of assy boyfriend at Yale? rory's a chick's name in this program? *starts to question, well, just about everything* <googlepause/> alexis bledel is hot. if we got married, and were reenacting a scene from life of brian, only with brian called rory, i could legitimately call out "i'm rory, and so's my wife".
• Her look kind of reminds me of Stacy Q, though the eyes are her own (and her mother's). It's not what makes her annoying for me though - that would be the affected speech with the ums and likes. It seemed like the result of countless hours of reverse-Toastmasterish practice. I kind of wanted to hear mom talk (more than the one or two syllables she did) to see if she sounded the same.
• I liked the affectation of putting her hand up to her ear while she sang, like she was in a recording studio with headphones. Because I'm sure she's spent tons of studio time recording her album "Teen Porn Goddess Leatherskin". Is it possible these people know how bad they are, and they just want their five minutes of fame? Or do they really believe that they're talented and awesome, and that the world is just waiting for them?
• separated at birth? actually, it's just the annoying voice thing; being relevant is overrated. maybe I should have put this in the daisy may thread...
• "...I don't want to be part of the human race anymore..." You've got nothing to worry about, sister.
• Now Lara, you're being faggotty......
• I think the POE girl was a little ambivalent about furries. She should really make up her mind about how she feels about them.
• I'd say POE girl doth protest too much myself. I look forward to many more suspiciously well informed rants about furrydom.
• Like most people, I was an idiot as a teenager. I was sullen, self-absorbed, lazy and a total drama queen. Chances are, you were an idiot back then as well... perhaps not in the same way that I was, but you too were probably insufferable in your own special fashion. Maybe- just maybe- as insufferable as this girl. And that's not really a bad thing... it's just what happens when we're at that stage in our life. I am really glad that the whole blog/myspace thing wasn't around when I was sixteen. My LiveJournal would have filled with bad gothy poetry, lyrics to rock songs that I felt shed a special light on my oh-so-tortured condition at that moment and an endless series of posts about how no one would ever love me- the only thing that would make it different from a million other LJs is that everything would be spelled correctly. My MySpace page would have a background which would make the text unreadable, several links to Quizilla, and at least one horrible embedded video. I too would have at least considered auditioning for AI, and had I done so I could easily have made a fool of myself on national TV... I had a good ear, but didn't have the voice to back it up until well into college. If I had Internet access back then, my angst and self-absorbtion would have been on display for a worldwide audience, because the ability to martyr oneself for the world to see is irresistable for attention whores. And the moment I engaged in "Star Wars Kid"-level stupidity, a million adults would have would have sniggered at my goofy appearance and shitty blog and conclude that I somehow deserved to be humiliated. Of course teenagers are going to have crappy websites and pipe dreams about TV fame. This doesn't mean the rest of us need to be dicks about it.
• Party-pooper. I so totally would have made fun of you. Really, we should be thanked because we're helping her get that oh-so-necessary thick skin, in order to survive. Thank us, dammit!
• If we sent em all out to work on the farm from the age of 12 to 24, they'd be too tired to be so uppity. But, I'm a little bit serious. I get the impession that teens are so... um... teen-like because society has given them permission to be. I believe there was a time when progeny were either "children" or "adults," and that fostering their development from one stage to the other involved, among other things, limiting their ability to become so self-absorbed by giving them places in the family pecking order. And, not at the top of the order.
• And today, with 'children' another profitable market segment, their behaviour is undergoing some big changes. Ask any parent or kid, and you'll see how they need today a lot of disposable income just to attain passable status among their peers. Cellphones, clothes, tech gizmos; more than toys, they define their personality today. That's another aspect of the net impact on our lives I find underrated today: the whole LJ/blogs phenomena. Where most adults today are spared the pain of finding relics from their past, exposing our young follies, current generations will find their entire lives archived all around the global net, forever. Complete with photos, videos, written confessions... it's gonna be interesting, in a couple decades.
• yeah. But, and here I pick a bone with the_bone, would you _really_? Self absorbed, check, sullen, occasionally, miserable (at times) absolutely but, and here's the thing, as a 16 year old I would have known that Am. Idol was a con. And so would every other teen I went through school with, and all the teens I've met since. I've yet to personally meet anyone who would not know better.
• Do you suppose the cycle will swing back to something more sensible?
• As a stupid teenager, I was surrounded by adults who would not hesitate to crack jokes about my stupid teenage ways. It was a rite of passage, and more importantly, it gave me a sense of humor about myself, and the understanding that the world actually didn't revolve around me. I believe it is important to tease children at every opportunity, for their own good.
• I don't think ol' Crystal would be well-served by being allowed to be in Crystal World for even a millisecond longer. I will bet you a million bucks that Mom does everything she can to keep her child/proxy from realizing that she owes the world far more than the world owes her, in order to keep her doppelganger machine on track just a little longer. That's not anything I feel comfortable enabling.
• Just remember, kid: All the geniuses were made fun of before they got famous. You stick to your guns, because you're special, see, and nobody can take that away from you.
• I just think it's really sad that a 16 year old girl feels she has to make a barbie doll of herself to feel attractive. I honestly wonder what she looks like without all that makeup. But I spend far too much time on my internet/ katamari damacy/battlestar galactica addictions to watch American Idol, so I admit this comes from a position of ignorance. Poor kid.
• I honestly wonder what she looks like without all that makeup. The only answer to that would be.......better. As a stupid teenager, I was surrounded by adults who would not hesitate to crack jokes about my stupid teenage ways. It was a rite of passage, and more importantly, it gave me a sense of humor about myself, and the understanding that the world actually didn't revolve around me. I believe it is important to tease children at every opportunity, for their own good. Absolutely. My kids are in training right now.
• That's one of the (many) problems with American Idol. They put the 16-year-olds right alongside the 25-year-olds. For every 16-year-old with his head screwed on right and a decent voice, there are a dozen Crystals. Have a "Teen Idol" show, for Mothra's sake, and let the kids be kids.
• For those of you who weren't keeping score at home, the category for the POE video was "horror." I mean, seriously.
• She did warn us that it was "hoorabul". Also "tayrabul".
• I wonder how the girl horrified by furries will react when she learns of plushies. It's hard for me to tell whether or not that video's a tongue-in-cheek sort of schtick that she thought would come across as funny. I was pretty sure it was until she said "faggoty" so much.
• Wait 'til she sees the Eel Girls.
• For the record, I was horrified by her singing as much as some of you were horrified by her appearance. Same thing, different medium. Ow.
• OMG she totally sux0r3d! And did you see how she was dressed? AND she's ugly! God I hate teenagers who don't realize how pathetic they are. Thank god there's an internet so that me and my geekiest friends can gang up and publicly post how much we totally hate her. It's like, our duty to pile on with the rest of the world and trash every aspect of her being so she sees the error of her ways and does the honerable thing and commits suicide or whatever. She deserves to die, she was on t.v.
• I detect a tiny bit of sarcasm there, Nickdanger.
• Why shouldn't we make fun of this girl? The show's been around for a while -- she knows what it's about. Simon rips into people. That's what he does. Happy, shiny moments are a very small part of the program, and the least interesting ones at that. In going on the show, she agrees to be put on public display, with a real risk of public mockery. Of course, that possibility may not enter her microwaved blonde head, that someone may actually think that she doesn't look attractive or doesn't have talent, but that's beside the point. Do I think we're doing her a favour? Not really. National tv is a pretty harsh place to learn a necessary life lesson about humility. We're not serving any didactic purpose by making fun of her. We're not noble to do so. Fortunately for her, I don't think anyone's critism even registers. I doubt there's a lot of introspection going on in her shallow little world. I have no problem with us heaping it on this girl -- she offerred herself up for it, she deserves it, and it's not going to make a bit of difference to her anyway.
• And as for POE girl -- I think she's secretly wondering if she's a furry herself, given how many stuffed bears she has on her bed right now!
• But, Nickdanger, that's very sweet of you to defend her in your......odd little way. I'm sure she appreciates it. As you may have read in comments up yonder thread, we are quite aware of how this looks, our teen-bashing, and frankly, we. just. don't. care. So, really you should save your energies and show us the error of our ways when we actually are UNAWARE of what we're doing. Thanks.
• "...people dress up like animals and do animal things..." Poor kid. She'll never know that doing animal things is one of the great pleasures of life. Especially when done in the woods.
• aWHOooOOOOOOOO!! Wait, what are we talking about?
• Thank god there's an internet so that me and my geekiest friends can gang up and publicly post how much we totally hate her. 5-year old Tyler Petrucci Sings : And it will freak you the fuck out. Just take your average, spoiled five year old through a toy store and don't buy them anything and you get pretty much the same result. Un-remarked upon comment; I just want to pummel this rotten little shit. Ragging teenagers = Bad. Ragging 5-year-olds = Totally different.
• well, sure, this thread has lowered the tone except for what's been said by the_bone and three or four others who think on their own
• Then cry at the multi-faceted jewel of pop culture desperation therein. As I alluded, this is more than the desperation of an un-talented and silly girl. There's her mother who seems to have created a clone for a little human sacrifice on the big TV altar in the sky; surely, if by some bizarre situation the girl had no idea that the show is designed to bitch-slap the untalented, Mom surely did. I'd bet big bucks they've seen every season, and probably watched it together, curled up with diet Cokes and Lite popcorn on the sectional and dissecting the performances. Then we have the existence of the show itself. It's been remarked that the judges are even harsher this season than ever. We know that the untalented go through two auditions previous to seeing the panel, so they've been specifically picked for their flaws and negative entertainment value. Reality tv is, at it's core, Ridicule tv. Filmed live, and edited to emphasize entertainment value - and people being idiots has been entertaining since the dawn of time - how could it not be? But then again, so what? Since when have people behaving foolishly not been ridiculed for it? It's how humans are. People who perform on tv knowingly subjecting themselves to judgement to millions of people should expect what, exactly? This girl is 16, not 6. Why did she not participate instead in a local talent show? If she feels she's talented, why not? Because it's not televised. My read on this girl is that she wants to be famous; the method by which she achieves that seems secondary. She wants other girls to see her on tv and in magazines, and say, "I wish I was like Crystal". I have to say, as others have mentioned, that I was cynical as hell at her age. There's no fucking way I would have swallowed enough crap to believe that reality would have been altered specifically for me in order to make an American Idol audition a cakewalk and an instant stairway to worldwide adulation. I get the idea this girl did the least possible, work-wise, and the most possible, surface-wise and felt entitled to a huge reward for doing so. She didn't get it; rather she got the kick in the ass we all get when we're being lazy and greedy. C'est la vie.
• I wish I was like Crystal.
• Don't worry. You are.
• Does anyone else miss Crystal Pepsi?
• There's her mother who seems to have created a clone for a little human sacrifice on the big TV altar in the sky Tres excellent. and people being idiots has been entertaining since the dawn of time - how could it not be? I dunno, good buffoons are great but making fun of somebody has always been confusing. It doesn't seem very funny. With this I'm sort of halfway between. Call it a draw. the insult to music itself however shall be dealt with . . . ohh yes, there will be an uppance to come!
• I'd guess that the difference is that "good buffoons" are cooler than the rest of us because they can make us laugh at their persona's stupidity while laughing at us, laughing at them.... I don't know of any who weren't aware of their buffoonery. With this girl, it's hard to tell. Maybe she'll work her way to buffoonery excellence - her generation's Gracie Allen. All she'd need to do is develop an ironic innocence and find a "wiser" partner who'd be willing to be the straight man. As many of you have pointed out, she must have known what she was getting into, and went for it anyway. So, if her appearance was really misinterpreted comedy, is she is the purposeful fool who hasn't found her spot yet, and are we fooled by her naiscent comedic genius, or is whe really just the twit that she appears to be? So, I think everyone (except me, since I really don't have an opinion) needs to read her blog and religiously follow her career over the next several years, just so we all know whether she's a complete dimwit, or smarter than all of us. If she winds up getting married, becomes a housewife and dotes on her kids, while taking them to tanning salons, some of us will have proved ourselves right, and should report back to get their rewards.
• Star Wars Kid Interview. Totally different, IMMO.
• Does anyone else miss Crystal Pepsi? No.
• mmm, invisible cola
• Oh Homer!
• phlibbbbbbbttt!
• if I ever went on TV, will you all make fun of me? Then I won't tell you the airing date of the Mastermind (BBC quiz show) I was on. I did come in last.
• Ha! Ha! /Nelson
• ...will you all make fun of me? Hoooo yeah! I'm putting on my making-fun-of-jb-pants as we speak. In fact...what the hell; I'll put on the whole three piece suit! With Ridicule Bow Tie!
• stylin
• Man, I love summertime in the South. Every Sunday, it's seersucker and white patent leather, baby. Gold.
• and now for something completely different
• Poor song choice. I think Simon was remarkably restrained. All these clips almost make me want to watch the show again. But not quite.
• Woah! A new winner! (Salon, watch ad req.)
• And while we're at it, Vernon Robinson is a Democratic candidate for Congress in North Carolina's 13th District. This is his campaign ad. (via MeFi)