January 23, 2006

• Try to think of a good suit as an investment. Care for it properly, and you'll have it for years... I have a couple of Perry Ellis suits I bought right out of college a decade ago, and wore one of them to a concert just the other night. If you can spend a little more money than $350, you'll thank yourself in a few years. That's not to say that you can't find something at your price point at Men's Wearhouse or a similar store, but it's going to take a lot more looking. For corporate jobs, you can't go wrong with Brooks Brothers. They do have outlet stores, and you can save a little money that way, but be reeeeaaal careful when buying from those places... there's some wheat and a lot of chaff. This book, believe it or not, is excellent. Buy it. (If you have good thrift-store mojo, see what you can find. Most of the time I walk away with nothing, but the one time I found a beautiful Nordstroms blazer in great condition made up for all of those trips combined. Those jackets cost $300 or so new, and I spent $10)
• Our firm has a corporate card program with Jos. A Banks and the men in our office can't say enough good things about their clothes. Half-price sales are a very smart way to pick up one of their suits.
• A good suit is always worth the money--so be very sure you like what you are getting. Be very aware of what the fabric is made of and make sure it's a good weight. Check the seams, are they detailed and finished well? MAKE SURE IT FITS! Seriously, it's amazing how many men wear suits that don't fit, make sure the jacket fits versus the pants as it's easier for a tailor to adjust the pants for you. Like the_bone said, a good suit can last for years. Also consider getting a navy blue suit. If you can get a couple of suits for $1000 (a lot, I know, but you'll be glad you did), and a few shirts, you'll be able to mix and match. Pants--either no pleat or just one pleat and personally, I like a cuff in the trousers, it looks classy. You know your pants look good when your comfortable enough to wear them without the jacket. If your slim, go single-breast, if your bulky, double-breast. Also, I suggest no vest--your not old enough. If you get a three-button jacket don't ever button the bottom button, it's just there for looks. :> Post pictures when your set!!!! I now turn you over to Fashionista Fes......
• Heh, then you have to think about shoes!! Yay!
• A crappy suit that fits you well will look much better than a great suit that does not fit you well. Make sure you put your money into the tailoring. I own suits of varying quality. The ones that I fit into best at the time are the ones that I get the most compliments on. I also recommend wearing an enormous cod piece.
• Haven't worn a suit regularly in years, MCT, but I second bernocle's advice on fit. If you feel comfortable in a suit, you'll look better as well. Also agree that a suit appropraite to ones age etc. is good advice. Many moons ago, in my very early twenties, I bought a 3-piece navy pinstripe suit which I thought at the time gave my demeanour a certain gravitas and sophistication. In retrospect, I'm sure I looked like a pretentious young twit. Good luck with the job hunt! Heh, then you have to think about shoes!! Yay! and a purse, for those "special" occasions.
• Maybe Mr. Humphries is free...
• Along the same lines (and possibly the inspiration for Vanishing Point): Infiltration, a Toronto zine whose publisher, Ninjalicious, recently put out a book on the subject of urban exploration. He managed to see the first copies of the book before he succumbed to a terminal illness last fall.
• Uh, wrong thread. Sorry. pun partially intended.
• best I can do is wish ye well since whatever I wear always looks like hell ;]
• you clothe yourself in words and song and whisky dreams and rooster crows and so, dear bees I'd say to you that you are clad in God's own clothes (keep 'em comin', folks)
• Ah bees, I was going to say what mct did, but he just said it so much better than I would have. We monkeys love you so!
• Awwww! Congratulations, MCT! Near the end of your degree already?! Good luck on your upcoming interviews!
• I second/third/fourth the idea of tailoring to fit. It's amazing how good you can look in something that's been fitted to you. Get a great suit, a pair of rubber duck feet, one of those spring ties that curl up--I GAR-RUN-TEE! you will get their attention. Islander, I'm sure you looked the picture of sartorial perfection. Nothing better than a young twit in a good suit.
• 
• Jeez louise! I paint the playroom for a couple days, this is what I miss? Alrighty, let's start with your choice of suit: three button is fine, but if this is going to be your primary #1 suit, I'd probably go with a two button - it's a more classical business look. the lapels are going to be longer and make you look thinner, and it's just going to be a more utilitarian piece. Darker the gray the better. OK, location: I've bought clothes at all three of those places (sorta), and by and large the better quality items I've gotten at Dillards. However, this is definitely a YMMV situation. Dillards typically relabels stuff from Perry Ellis, Hart Shaffner and Marx, etc. - the quality's pretty good, generally speaking (more on that in a sec); Men's Wearhouse does a bit of relabelling, but mostly they sell lesser known name brands (i.e. Brandini) - their quality tends to be medium pretty good, and they will cut it to fit for you for an extra couple bucks. Banks, I mail-ordered a couple shirts, can't really help you there. Now then: looks like your looking to pay between $300 and $400, and any of those places is going to sell you a decent enough suit for that kind of dough. However, it will not be a suit that lasts forever. There is a certain quality that can be had for $400 - it's not bad, but I can pretty much say that, 10 years from now, you will not be wearing this suit. In a year, you'll start to see bubbles on the lapel (that's the glue that holds the cloth to the cardboard - yep, cardboard - stiffener reacting to the heat of repeated pressing); the edges of the front along the buttons will start to turn outward; the cuff buttons will loosen, the interior pockets will begin to sag. &c. This is all expected. But to second the good bernockle - whereever you go, take advantage of any trimming and tailoring they will do for you. A cheap suit that fits good will look better than an expensive suit that doesn't and hey - no one knows what you paid for that suit, right? All they know is if it looks good or not. So: have 'em cut it to you, and try it on again when you go to pick it up and make sure it fits right and, if it doesn't, have they re-cut it - even if they charge you another $10 or whatever. Tailoring is HUGELY important, and I recommend that, after you get this purchase under your belt, you have them measure you out properly and you ask them for a recommendation on a local tailor and a local dry cleaner.
• All that said, if it was me, I'd go with Dillards - their selcetion is going to be smaller, but in my experience their quality tends to be better - meaning, they relabel better names than Men's Wearhouse typically sells. Also, in my experience Dillard's salespeople tend to be more knowledgeable about their wares. To address Darshon's points: navy is your other power color, that's definitely your *next* suit. If you can swing it, get a second pair of pants, so you have one each of pleated and flat front. Your pleated is going to be your bidness, your flat, which is a more flattering cut if you are reasonably slim, is going to be your more casual pant, so pick cloth accordingly. Also: pleated pants have cuffs; flat front pants do not. If you see someone wearing flat fronts with cuffs, there's some friggin' in the riggin' going on. Definitely go single, not double-breated. Darshon's right about the bottom button, and it goes for two-button suits too - it doesn't get buttoned. Your shirt cuff should protrude from your jacket cuff at the wrist about a half-inch. Last word of advice I can give you is, if you have questions, to ask the salesman. Suit salesmen have a certain esprit d'corps, and as such they are generally more into what they sell then the lunkheads over at the dollar store. They *know* things, and by and large they geneuinely want to help you get what you need. Only rarely have I ever gone wrong listening to the advice of a suit salesman, despite the obvious conflict of interest. One other thing, if you can take a girl friend (not a girlfriend, but a friend of yours who happens to be a girl) whom you can trust to tell you the unvarnished truth, take her along and ask her how she likes what you pick. Don't take Mrs. Tool, because she loves you and her observations are going to be colored by the lovableness you emanate at her. A honest critic is one of the most valuable tools you can get for determining whether or not that suit really does look good on you.
• Ha! Just a few minutes ago I took out of the farthest corner of the closet my 'lucky suit', for a cumbersome bureaucratic meeting tomorrow. Amazed at how it still fits nicely, even after several waist expansion/contraction cycles over the last 6 years. I loathe having to wear suit and tie, and my work allows me to do it quite rarely; still, the aura a 'nice' suit instills in one's self-confidence is a strange thing. No, this post has no advice at all for mct. I just wanted to comment on... oh well.
• do you remember the simpsons where homer got hair and a personal assistant, Karl, who took him to the tailor saying "homer, seriously, stop sucking it in...You, conceal it!" in a word, Tailored. whatever it costs will be more than compensated for by the higher salary you can command in it. i have a tailored suit that i had made for me after graduating high school that still turns heads. I am almost unrecognizable in it. women swoon. the sun bursts from the clouds in pearly rays. you get the point. if you can at all afford it...do it and never regret it. check with your dry cleaner for a local tailor and you may be able to save some $ vs. a fancy boutique (or Prada), but ask to see samples of their work first... if you absolutely can't get into that price range, here's a tip: when you're down at the Joseph A. Warehouse, rub the lapels between your thumb and forefinger. If the layers of fabric don't move, pass on the suit. It means that the layers have been glued together in some way rather than properly sewn, and hints at many shortcuts hidden inside. and fez is right, grey first, then navy, then the fluorescent orange one...
• I love Fes.
• I photograph a lot of CEO's so I feel that I can humbly enter this conversation: No pink shirts. No bright ties. Shine those shoes. Wear a nice wristwatch. Also, there are two fabric weights/color palettes for a suit, summer and winter. Think about when you will be doing your heaviest interviewing. Also, buy something you honestly like wearing. You'll be more comfortable in the interview. Try not to take off your jacket because your shirt will be all wrinkledy. Don't button-it makes you look self-conscious. And all that has been said about having a tailor is correct. I even have one and I'm a girl. You'll do fine.
• when you're down at the Joseph A. Warehouse, rub the lapels between your thumb and forefinger. If the layers of fabric don't move, pass on the suit. It means that the layers have been glued together in some way rather than properly sewn, and hints at many shortcuts hidden inside. Sexyrobot, while I agree with you, with MCT's budget there's no way he's going to find a sewn lapel. Last time I went looking for a sewn-lapel blazer - not a suit, just a blazer - most places I went to didn't even have such a thing, and the one to two places that did, I was looking at $500-$700. I don't think he's going to see a suit with sewn lapels until he cracks into the made-to-measure market. I think the best he can do on that score is be judicious about getting it cleaned and, esp., pressed. Limit it to twice a season. it's the heat from the pressing that loosens that glue and starts those lapels a'bubblin'. A quick fix is to run a REALLY hot iron over them to re-heat and reset the glue, but that's a game of dimishing returns.
• Fes, you make me wish I was a man so you could dress me.
• Fly to Hoi-An in Vietnam and have a suit made for you. Bespoke and very reasonably priced. Vietnam is a very nice country too, for a vacation of a few days or weeks. Hoi-An tailors make your suit in a few days from nice fabrics for a fraction of the price you pay in the US. And it will fit you. I had made some silk clothes (not suits, I've never worn a suit in my life, but two shirts an a pair of wide pants) 10 years ago and they're still in excellent condition. Take pictures whith of what you want. How to Buy Custom-Tailored Clothes in Asia, or Google for more info.
• This fellow has some good advice on suits... not that you can afford bespoke, but he gets into the details of what makes a quality suit. This post and its comments may be useful.
• I still can't get past the "carefully-groomed...tongue".
• Personally, I went for the navy blue as my first suit, and then the charcoal, but whatever. The point is that for your first suit, you want it as classic as possible. Now that you have one, it'll be trucked out for weddings and funerals and all sorts of stuff, so you don't want to be going to years of those in something that is clearly dated. Second on the second pair of eyes. You will need someone with you to see how everything looks from the back -- how the jacket is hanging, that the shoulders aren't drooping, that you don't have a saggy ass, etc. Girlfriends are no good at this. Take your mother. Moms are always good at offering criticism. I can't speak to the stores in the States -- I've bought suits at Century 21, but I wouldn't recommend that for a first timer. That's pretty much hit and miss, and you can't be intimidated. You need to know what you're looking for, and you won't know that until you've actually lived in suits for a while. Then you can hit Bargainsville. And always buy a new tie when you buy a suit. You'll always have something perfectly matched. Ties for Christmas is one thing, but you don't want to buy a suit on the basis of a preexisting tie collection. Good luck!
• Oh -- one more thing. Try not to look surprised when people call you 'sir', and you get preferred treatment at the bank. It's a bit disarming to be treated like a somebody the first time you go out.
• Oh! As someone who has interviewed people - you might want to consider getting more than one tie and shirt to vary the look of your suit, just in case you get asked back for a 2nd interview.
• Welcome to the grown-up world, MCT - I just had to start dressing better than my students, and while it hasn't come to suit and tie for me yet, I'm enjoying the advice they're sending you, jotting down notes for the interviews I'm hoping to line up in the next few weeks... Plus, hey - it feels good to dress in nicer clothes.
• Wartime instructions for turning old men's suits into women's and children's clothes Not the suits of old men, but the old suits of men who were away fighting. I remember doing similar things with my Dad's old clothes as a teenager.
• and you get preferred treatment at the bank. I was amazed at the bank yesterday when I got preferential treatment while wearing jeans, heavily worn leather jacket and a hoodie. Utterly shocked. I had to deal with multiple low value accounts and a lot of pain in the arse fiddling about with them. Clearly not the high-powered banking dreams of an eight dollar an hour counter clerk with glorious aspirations. But, walking in, I mustered up my "inner suit" and pulled it off. I got great service! Don't forget to wear the suit on the inside as well. Usually in service instances like this I'll choose something from the closet that speaks volumes of wealth and style, at least as would be perceived by low-wage clerks at a bank. Always dress for the occasion. My last real job was with a bunch of Walmart Fashionistas and I clearly over dressed initially, wearing nice suits frequently. Other people wore suits and thus, so did I. Then I learned. They were not wearing nice, current, fitted suits. They had on twenty year old ill fitting suits from Sears. This wasn't like previous jobs, goodbye well fitting designer clothing, hello mallware. So I varied things up and dressed in what I considered then to be my casual comfortable day off sort of clothing and still looked "professional" in their eyes. And while I never really did fit in, at least I was blending in and not standing out quite so much. And, I looked all Office Mack Daddy while wearing the kind of comfy, everyday clothing that I'd normally wear.
• *rubs torn sweatshirt hem between thumb and forefinger* *cries*
• So I went with the Jos. Bank suit. Mrs. Tool, whose research skills far exceed my own, came up with enough praise of their product to make me feel comfortable. Plus, you know, $700 suit for $350. Can't beat it. And yes, Virginia, it has a sewn lapel. By God. I'm very happy with it. This is a gift from my in-laws, who are generous beyond measure. My father-in-law just met me at the store a little while ago and we got it done. I've been chalked and measured and feel pretty sexy, dontchaknow. When I finally get to wear it, I feel it will be my duty to strut around and make little pistol-shooty gestures at every woman I see. This is actually my second suit -- number one is a traditional navy two-button I've had for years. It's still serviceable, but beginning to show its age a bit. So now I've got a bit more snazz. And I'm good for ties -- though I hate wearing them, I've probably got a dozen or so. As a follow-up etiquette question, what's better for interviewing? Blazing power tie, or more muted and conservative? Perhaps something with a hula gal shaking her bon-bon? Or maybe "World's Greatest Granddad?" On preview, frogs, I hear you. That grownup gene's finally kicking in. I think I'm finally on the cusp of paying more attention to my style when I don't have to. Thanks for all the tips, everybody. Kudos to Fes for being my fashion Jedi. We're coming up for a ballgame or two this summer, sir, and I hope I'll finally be able to make your acquaintance in person. I will be dressed in red leather chaps and a sailor hat. Try not to compete with that.
• I'm bookmarking this thread, btw, so y'all can feel free to throw in random fashion tips you like regardless of whether the topic's been mentioned in the thread.
• POST PICTUERS /sputtle/
• And by that, you mean only red leather chaps and a sailor hat, I'm assuming.
• Hey, I didn't use a small tag. Why is I small?
• tracicle left a tag open that's why I should be admin.
• shit. looks like ol' monkey-girl keeps the banana sceptre :(
• I get it. It's a metaphor. That we're all small, and Monkeybashi is great. All hail!
• ?
• And by that, you mean only red leather chaps and a sailor hat, I'm assuming. And a song in my heart.
• It's very cramped in here. Someone hold me.
• If I were admin, we would not be reduced to miniscule size and middleclasstool would be clad in the finest panda fur and elephant skin outfits.
• not with that tiny excuse for a font.
• HA! THUS I REGAIN SOME DIGNIFIED MASS AND APPROACH THE VOLUME APPROPRIATE TO MY STATION!
• That looks a bit small on you mct.
• YOU WILL NOT DEFEAT US WITH YOUR SHRINKING ABILITIES, TRACICLE! OUR CURRENT DETUMESCENCE IS BUT A TEMPORARY SETBACK!
• wow the floor is really dirty down here. I need to vacuum more.
• Weeee represent the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild, and in the name of the Lollipop Guiiiiild, we wish to welcome you to Munchkinland!
• This is not going to be nearly as funny after she fixes this.
• Honey, I shrunk the kids!
• Come on, everyone! Follow me to that Bag End Dollhouse! We can finally explore!
• (When the sequel to "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" came out, being "Honey, I Blew Up the Kids", somebody stole the 'up' from off the sign. Hilarious. Disgusting, but hilarious. But, please, continue.)
• MonkeyFilter: OUR CURRENT DETUMESCENCE IS BUT A TEMPORARY SETBACK!
• MCT, shouldn't that be MONKshkin land?
• Why is everybody whispering?
• Come on, guys! I found a straw. If we all lift it, we can use it to climb up on her shoe, and from there, we'll bite her ankles.
• de·tu·mes·cence ( P ) Pronunciation Key (dt-msns, -ty-) n. Reduction or lessening of a swelling, especially the restoration of a swollen organ or part to normal size. Ohhhhhhhh! Detumescence! right.
• Apparently the small you are, the more commas you need.
• On the plus side, there's that much more beer for everyone now.
• *climbs out of empty beer mug and flops to the floor* What was that?
• MonkeyFilter: I recommend wearing an enormous cod piece. It's ok, Koko. We may be slobs, but at least we're comfy slobs. So there :P
• Right. So are we jumping down this rabbit hole or what?
• Quid got quiet. I think tracicle stepped on him and smushed him. I knew we shoulda bit her ankle!
• MY ALL CAPS IS MY SWORD, MY BOLD TAG IS MY SHIELD! COME, MY REGULAR-FONT UNCAPITALISED FRIENDS! FALL INTO YOUR VERY TINY FORMATIONS! ATTACK THE GIANTESSICLE!
• NO JOKES PLEASE.
• That's like tellin' the birds not to poop on a windshield.
• WHAT WAS THAT, QUID? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! SOMETHING ABOUT A BALL?
• K  K  I  L     L K K   I  L     L KK    I  L     L K K   I  L     L K  K  I  LLL  LLL
• When I fix that, you'll all look so silly.
• Ah, I really did forget to close it. How silly of me.
• Where's the power supply to this thread? Maybe we can unplug and reboot it. Or we might all die in a horrible electrocution accident. It's a chance we'll have to take.
• Awwwwwwwwwww..........
• And lastly, you guys smell. Sorry for wrecking your thread, mct.
• I am biting my tongue here at work, so I don't laugh out loud. It hurts!
• Um . . are you sure it's fixed? . . 'Cause usually . . . well, . . it is much bigger . . .
• The best advice that I ever got for job interview clothes was to "wear the suit, don't let the suit wear you." Of course, having said that, I may post my own C,G thread for appropriate interview wear for women when my (theoretical) job interview season comes up in a couple of months.
• Um . . are you sure it's fixed? . . 'Cause usually . . . well, . . it is much bigger . . . Tumescent, even!
• And on the actual subject, I have to agree with those that have said to wear the suit on the inside, too. That's what attracts my attention. Not just a guy in a nice suit, but a guy wearing a nice suit like he knows he belongs in it.
• Ah, that's much better! *stretches* So, tie choice? I'm thinking of going for the "Tucker Carlson," or perhaps the "Orville Redenbacher." Maybe, just maybe, the "Colonel Sanders."
• Looking like you belong in a suit is something that will only come over time. You can see it on pro athletes all the time, or people at weddings. It just screams out -- I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS! It'll come. Once it becomes ordinary to you, you'll look a lot better.
• And remember to pop your pee-pee outside your fly. It's what got me where I am today and with good behaviour I should be up for parole real soon.
• THEN YOU'LL ALL PAY.
• /three-year old son worries about the tears rolling downs mommy's face. Tears of laughter is a new concept.
• Oh shit sorry wrong thread
• Tie choice? I've done the bow-tie thing, most often in the summer. It's a little foo-foo now, esp. on the younger man. Not impossible, but it's definitely for the suit-advanced. Not to mention that it takes a fuck of a lot of time to learn to do properly. Like a shoelace, my ass. Ties should be the accent of the suit. You want something that's distinct, but not overbearing. Bold but not obnoxiou. Something that sets the suit off. Generally, the opposite of the suit you're working with. Once you have the suit and a non-white shirt together, it should be pretty clear what works and what doesn't. When in doubt, ye olde school tie. Boring, but it works. And it leads to plenty of useful small talk, which is 35% of the business world.
• And quid's wrong about the pee-pee. Well tucked, at least until you reach management.
• Then share your semen and urine with all! HOORAY!!!
• I am so not going to those meetings again.
• You know, there's nothing sexier than shirtsleeves on a man who you always see in a suit.
• If you know for a fact that your interviewer went to the same university as you (or one with the same school colors), wear a tie in your school colors. Subtle "we belong in the same club" signal?
• I was wondering why there were "72 new comments" in this thread.
• *blushes*
• And if you're a cologne wearer, wear less than usual to your interview. An overpowering scent can be a big turnoff.
• It just keeps getting better!
• Back to the subject, my advice is pay attention to the fabric. Some years ago, my boss wore a really nice looking suit to give a company-wide presentation in. Unfortunately, he'd had to travel cross country with it in his luggage, and it hadn't relaxed over night, so the wrinkles made him look like a homeless guy who'd got a great deal at Good Will, but couldn't afford to have the thing pressed. Fes can talk more about fabric, I'm sure. I've always suspected that that suit had some linen in it, but don't know for sure. And, guys, while jeans or chinos are cute, in more structured circumstances, there's nothing like than a masterfull suit and tie.
• And if you're a cologne wearer, wear less than usual to your interview. An overpowering scent can be a big turnoff. Boy howdy. Your lips to God's ears. I learned a nifty trick that I've used for years, one that I actually learned as a kid, and I like it better than the spray/delay/walk away method. I simply give my chest and stomach a spritz or two of cologne before I dress in the morning. When I'm fully dressed, even in just a t-shirt, you can't really tell I'm wearing cologne at all unless I'm pretty close to you, and if I am, you just get a vague, pleasant hint of something. And your first time playing slap 'n' tickle with the person of your choice will usually include a pleasant "Ooh!" when your shirt comes off and that now-diffused scent hits his or her eager nostrils. When I was a freshman in college, I used to have girls in the dorm stealing and wearing my unwashed shirts because they liked the lingering afterscent.
• ok, ties.....IGNORE cap'n R.....bold, colorful ties are in in in this year...of special note are the ones with mod or optical patterns that change colorations in the light...check at the macy's, you'll see a lot of great ones...have fun! just remember, not too wide and 100% silk. (oh, p.s...string ties, bow ties, and cravats are RARELY anything other than horridly affected...avoid them like the plague...i hope you were kidding about the col'n sanders thing *shudders*)
• I seem to have missed the boat here somewhat, but... Also, there are two fabric weights/color palettes for a suit, summer and winter. Think about when you will be doing your heaviest interviewing. I don't know if Americans measure fabric weights in ounces, but generally anything under 9oz is a summer weight and anything over 13 a winter weight. In between is the "year-round" suit - where you take off the coat in summer and wear an overcoat in winter. There's a lot of lovely Worsted in this weight- I am having an 11-12oz suit run up at the moment...
• "ok, ties.....IGNORE cap'n R.....bold, colorful ties are in in in this year" Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't say avoid bold ties, I said "bold but not obnoxious". (Or "obnoxiou", rather.) You want something to pique interest, but not hypnotize people to your will. As for the travelling-with-the-suit problem, just remember to hang the suit in the bathroom while you take a shower. The steam acts like, well, a steamer, and most of the wrinkle situation should be taken care of. And I understood that scents were out in general, out of sensitivity for people with allergies and whatnot. Even now, I'm at the point where if I smell somebody's cologne, I think "where'd he come from? 1988?"
• oh I don't know, hypnotizing people to my will is pretty much a daily goal, and if mct finds the right tie he could MAKE them hire him....look into my eyes tie....
• Tiegate
• I understood that scents were out in general, out of sensitivity for people with allergies Pfft - that's pretty rich coming from a guy who runs around naked smeared in peanut butter humping people's legs. Oh no wait that's me sorry
• See, there's a difference between a "scent" and a "smell"...
• Quidnunc ain't got no scents.
• MonkeyFilter: An overpowering scent can be a big turnoff. WHEW! Who needs their cage cleaned?
• Calvin Klein's Essence of Quidnunc will be hitting the shelves this Spring. (It was decided in a top-level marketing meeting that Essence of Underpants would not sell well no matter how damn nice it smelled.)
• Well, how about that Intimate Monster fragrance?
• (It was decided in a top-level marketing meeting that Essence of Underpants would not sell well no matter how damn nice it smelled.) I must loudly disagree. You are missing out on one HUGE untapped internet niche market out there. *sniff*
• Yeah, never underestimate the number of panty-sniffers in this world/blog/comment.
• Thus, Medusa's entire marketing strategy.
• You have all been hypmotize by her oscillating tie.
• Banana tie!
• thank you Capt. R! exactly...the world is filled with pantysniffing pervs who would no doubt love to douse themselves with Essense of Underpants altho I would personally prefer Intimate Monster for myself.
• mct, please don't mention sniffing panties during the interview.
• Unless they're manufacturers of Schoolgirl-panties vending machines , of course.
• manufacturers of Schoolgirl-panties vending machines The sartorial implications are staggering...and sickening. Okay, mainly sickening.
• W. T. F.
• Corpse-bothering, horse buggery, bodily fluids, panty sniffing. Is there no low to which we will not sink? do NOT anwswer that
• Did you see the self-link about my balls? That was a new low for me, personally.
• Dammit, Tool! **she snaps** Wasn't wanking on one thread enough for you!!? Oh, wait. That wasn't pandering to our basest desires, that was purely a scientific post.
• Oh, come on now, Koko, go easy on the Toolman. Who amongst us can say he hasn't sniffed the occasional schoolgirl's panties? *crickets* Oh, riiiiight, like you all haven't! When in doubt, ye olde school tie. Boring, but it works. And it leads to plenty of useful small talk, which is 35% of the business world. While I can't argue with the subtle sophistication of the diagonally striped rep tie, I have never heard of someone actually having a school tie, let along running into someone with one from the same school and striking up a conversation. Do colleges even have school ties anymore? Did US schools ever? Fes can talk more about fabric, I'm sure. I've always suspected that that suit had some linen in it, but don't know for sure. Not my forte, certainly, but I can speak to it a bit. First, yeah, probably what Mr. Wrinkles was weearing was either a linen or linen blend thing. Linen is a great summer fabric - lightweight, cool, breathable - but it wrinkles like a mutha. That said, the wrinkling is sorta part of its charm, you know? A linen suit is a summer suit. I have a linen suit in a very light khaki, and I love that thing (here's a picture of me in it looking a bit bloviated in Milwaukee last summer). But it's inherently a casual sort of suit. The suit you get will want to be made of a worsted wool, which is also a light, breathable cloth, it just doesn't wrinkle up so bad. There are several grades of woolen cloth - Super 100, 120, etc - and whatnot, with varying price points, etc. Those numbers grade on fineness, rather than quality. Basically, forget all that. If the jacket cloth feels good to you, the pants will as well. Don't get hung up on all the Super-numbers and micron-counts. bold, colorful ties are in in in this year...of special note are the ones with mod or optical patterns that change colorations in the light...check at the macy's, you'll see a lot of great ones...have fun! just remember, not too wide and 100% silk. Bold, colorful ties are always in! But sexyrobot's right - lately, the trend has been toward skinnier ties (there was even a brief, ugly resurgence in those yarny knit tube tie things, thankfully that spasm has passed - how many Mark Harmon's does one worl need, anyway?). Most of your business ties are going to be 4-inchers, if you want to go skinny, try a three or a 3 1/4. Much skinnier than that, though, and you'll be edging into Mike Damone territory. And stick with dark colors on skinny ties. The general look is vaguely 'Buscemi in Reservoir Dogs'. As far as the coloration changes in the light? Sexyrobot, I just picked up a thin corduroy blazer in blue that does that holo thing over to greenish! And it has the leather lapel tabs, I feel like I should slip an electric edelweiss in my buttonhole. Striped silk lined, too. and for less than a hundred bucks!! As for the travelling-with-the-suit problem, just remember to hang the suit in the bathroom while you take a shower... This works, to a *point*. If you travel, you will likely have to iron at some point. Do yourself a favor, take an hour, and have Mrs. Tool or your mom learn ya how to iron. Trust me, it's a skill that you will never regret having.
• I shudder at the thought of my husband holding an iron to anything much less something that has to be worn afterwards. /Fes, I never pictured you as a smoker. Looks like their unfiltered, too???
• Nah, regular old Marlboro lights. I was a Red man for 15 years, put them away in '99. I chip one or two occasionally when I'm drinking. That is not a hugely flattering picture of me :)
• Monkeyfilter: Oh, riiiiight, like you all haven't!
• Do yourself a favor, take an hour, and have Mrs. Tool or your mom learn ya how to iron. You insult me, sir. I am, in point of fact, better at ironing than both my wife and my mother, as they will attest. I also cook like nobody's business, and I mix a mean margarita from scratch. Wow. I may be my wife's bitch.
• But with 100% Grade A healthy bawlz!
• Wow. I may be my wife's bitch. Man, your wife is so lucky.
• I just realized that my husband may be doing a sub-par job on PURPOSE. He knows that I want things done a certain way and the easiest way to not do things is to do them badly, in my house. No wonder I never get a moment to myself, my standards are far too high. Lesson learned. /poorly written sentence, oh well. That's just me lowering my standards.
• I am, in point of fact, better at ironing than both my wife and my mother, as they will attest. I also cook like nobody's business Johnny Depp did both of those at the same time in Benny & Joon! Mmm, grilled cheese...
• Fes, you look like you were cultivating your inner Hunter S. Thompson.
• In my defense, that was like the fourth or fifth place aine_42 and I stopped at that evening. That woman is a drinking machine. We had a blast.
• isn't it cute that mct only suspects he may be his wife's bitch?
• Its like when you pretend to throw the milk-bone but your dog gives you that tilted-head look, like they're not quite sure it went anywhere? ;)
• Where am I? Where are my pants? I'm afraid.
• You haven't ironed your pants yet, Fool Tool. Get your little furry mantie-covered buns in their and get that monkey suit ironed.
• so THERE! dammit!
• Flagpole's rule: if you can't justify sending to the dry-cleaners' a garment for ironing, then it doesn't deserve to be. Ergo, all my nice pants and shirts get pressed, and the rest *may* be hand-ironed... if there's time and disposition. /walks away amid rustling sound of wrinkled pants and shirt
• I never learned to iron, on purpose. Too many Sunday afternoons spent with my mom cursing under her breath as she starched and ironed my dad's work shirts. An act of love, sure, but one that made her grouchy! Luckily, the person I'm dating right now is a crack iron-er and will, given the right enticements, do a shirt for me here and there.
• You do realize you owe him fellatio for that, right? Very old rule of housekeeping. One that my wife evidently doesn't feel like observing.
• Holy shit, I really am her bitch. I don't even get a proper fluffing for my troubles. *weeps*
• Oh, sure. I always felt the ol' "oral sex for ironing" deal is one where I win twice :)
• The "oral sex while ironing" deal was troublesome, however.
• so difficult to explain the frequent burns to co-workers...
• never try phone sex while ironing
• Isn't it nice to get all the wrinkles out?
• Would you like a little starch for that?
• Interesting picture, Fes. I'm glad to see that the Safe House still exists. I was last there, um, maybe 12 years ago.
• um...to get the wrinkles out of yr ears????
• I've always felt that ironed crack is far superior to that regular "chunky" kind.
• Awwww, hot steaming iron burns. Once I got a small but nasty one on the side of my right hand. Hurrying out from bathroom to get ready for a party, with nothing but a large towel over my head, stumble with ironing board (put out by companion while last-minute unwrinkling of a blouse). Blindly try to grab it from tumbling... and hand sizzles briefly. Just a second of contact, but hey, that hurt like motherfreakin'. Still spooked at what could have happened if other part of my body had come in contact with that hot thing...
• on the subject of burns, also highly advisable to avoid touching action end of heat gun to flesh...not that I'd know from any sort of personal experience...besides, they say scars add character, right???
• I had a bad iron burn once - for a week you could see the shape of the pointy end of the iron, complete with those little round holes, in the red mark on my skin.
• See, this is why I don't use a curling iron or straightening iron on my hair. Heating elements do not need to be that close to my brain. Also, my grandmother burned my head one too many times in an effort to make my hair all curly. And that's no fun... But the Crown and Sevens I was drinking tonight whilst playing canasta? Fun!
• crown and sevens?
• Crown Royal and 7-Up. yecch.
• Didn't know folk still played canasta. One of the few games in which those of us with oversized hands have a natural advantage.
• Yes, canasta has allowed me to master the art of holding nine million cards in my hand. I like Crown and Sevens. In fact, that's the only way I like Crown. Otherwise, it's too sweet. Of course, I'm going through an odd phase, cocktail-wise, where I'm enjoying the clear mixers like seven up and ginger ale.
• Me, I like just ice and non-fizzy water in mah whiskey. Also a big bitters and soda fan, if I'm designated driver, which is rare (bless Mrs. Tool's generous heart). Got hooked on 'em about five years ago.
• Cranberry juice & vodka. Mh yeah. There's some fancy Absolut version, but I like plain Stoli and a surge of juice stright from the big bottle.
• bitters and soda? is that legal?
• Didn't somebody just say recently booze wasn't good for you? I read it on the front page. meh! Pour me another. Make mine an olive martooni--two olives!
• Joe Jackson said it many years ago: "Everything gives you cancer". And that's the fucking truth. /gives three-fingered salute to the C-bastard
• Canasta and vodka? Count me in! Also, to keep on topic, canasta is best played while wearing a burgundy-red velvet jacket and a smoking cap with a tassle. Moustache wax and cigarette holder a plus.
• If I had a cigarette holder, I'd look even more like Hunter Thompson. I'm not entirely sure that's a look I want to cultivate any more than I am already by virtue of poor genetics.
• I'm not entirely sure that's a look I want to cultivate any more Especially because the next step is being shot out of a cannon onto Johnny Depp's tie.
• Nixon!
• Especially because the next step is being shot out of a cannon onto Johnny Depp's tie. I can live with that. Hell, the man even looks good covered in his friend's ashes.
• Shit fuck, people, I'm going to be putting the new suit to work sooner than I thought. Got a line on a job as a programmer or programming analyst, which would DOUBLE MY SALARY. Interview Friday. Then I'll post the sexy pictures. Please, if you believe, sacrifice a child without blemish to Werzog on my behalf.
• finger crossed, or as Werzog would do, thumbs pressed!
• The likelihood is small, but nevertheless: if there is anything I can do to help, you need only ask.
• Go MCT's balls! Um, and . . ah, by extension . . MCT.
• The Werzog be with you, mct.
• No unblemished children here, MCT, but I've got Petebest by the short hairs, and I can find a sharp implement, if you think that will help.
• Good luck, mct! I have an interview this week, too! Here's to good job karma for all.
• Good luck to you and your balls, MCT! If you need a reference, I'm sure any number of monkeys would be happy to oblige.
• Mmh. No, "I agressively pursue all kinds of leisure activities with a bunch of dirty monkeys" just doesn't sound too good on a resumé. Believe me, I tried.
• OM WE CALL UPON SUBTLE GANESHA, THE UNLOCKER OF DOORS OM OM WE PETITION HIM TO GRANT SAFE PASSAGE TO MIDDLECLASSTOOL OM OM WE COVER OUR NAKED BODIES IN GHEE AND PERFORM OUR POOJA ON A CARPET OF LOTUS FLOWERS OM
• Break a leg!
• Dear MCT's Prospective Employer-Type-Feller, I am happy to provide a reference for MCT. I has knowed him from a embryo, and boy, can that man pick a suit! If you hire him he will totally pick out all your suits for you. No shit. And he'd give you the shirt off his back. In fact, he often insists on it. In short, if you need your snoot picked MCT is the monkey for the job. Sincerely, The Underpants Monster, Esq. No. 7 Dunghill Mansions, Putney
• I'll leave the porchlight on to get Mothra to intercede on your behalf.
• To-Whom-It-May-Alarm, Please allow me to add to the growing pile of character references for your possible employee, Mr ClassTool. Middleclasstool is the bitchinest shit. Yo' can't fuck it up with the suits that he picks. Crazy motherfuckers up an' down the land, bitch-slap their own asses to his master plan. He is also an extremely skilful operator of a photocopier. Yours sincerely,
• Wow. With references like these, I expect to be Grand Poobah of Pimpin' Hos by this time next week. Thanks for the good wishes, all. I intend to have my balls out during the interview as character witnesses so they can testify on my behalf. I also plan to recite "Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, fudge is made" as evidence of my detailed knowledge of human anatomy and advanced reasoning skills. I feel that using these tactics, I'll be fucking the HR manager's wife inside of a week. *raises fist of solidarity with meredithea* Good luck to you, dear. May our mojo be mighty this week.
• Believe in the tie. There is no tie. *claps with one hand*
• Dear Interviewer: Please allow me to offer my strongest recommendation to middleclasstool for the position at your company. He is a huge fan of positions, believe me. Without going into a lot of detail, let me say that positions are something he could talk about all the live-long day. In a weekly lecture series, even. With slide shows. And finger puppets. Sincerely,
• Good luck to you both. I'm waggling my tentacles for you right now!
• Interviewer, You will hire Mr. Tool. I do not think I need to discuss the matter with you further. Regards, Werner Herzog
• I tell you what, I'd pay Werzog for the privilege of working for him.
• In blood.
• Our cause is just, our strength is mighty. Now, what's your benefits package?
• Please, let's not get him talking about his package.
• When you your job with Herzog, you might have an opportunity to build your own strike team, and I thought I might mention that I have computer skills, am an excellent knife fighter, drive very fast, never sleep, lie with ease and skill, can concoct a "mickey finn", have wrassled semi-professionally, and look like Hunter Thompson only cheerfuller.
• No monkey knife fights until we reach international waters.
• agreed.
• I fight dirty. Can I come?
• Oh, no, Fes is on the jazz again! Better break the crazy pilot out of the VA hospital...
• We're gonna have to slip Fes a sedative before the plane flight tho . . .
• I PITY the fool that tries to sedate mzzzzzzzzzzzz...
• *looks around* What do I do with this sedagive, then?
• Zounds, I'm glad I followed this thread. I've been thinking of getting a new suit for interviews and such, as my black one would be deemed to formal and the other one, well, the slings and arrows have gotten to it. So I learned today I had an interview on Monday, all of a sudden, this is less than theoretical. Armed with the information from and suggested here, I went into the local Jos. A. Bank where I know their suits are currently on sale. I have a charcoal grey two button suit that fits this BearGuy nicely. Now all I need to do is brush up on my interview questions. Thanks ye many monkeys.
• Psst -- when they ask you "what's your greatest flaw", and you answer "I work too hard", they know it's complete bullshit. Try "I have no patience for stupid questions like that or the dumbasses who ask them." They'll reward you for your frank honesty. *snicker*
• Or try "I like to play with corpses along with my monkey friends."
• a BearGuy in a suit! don't look so glum!
• He's because, as he sat down for the interview, discovered having forgotten to buy shoes...
• discovered having forgotten to buy shoes... Ah yes, must make sure to shine those for Monday, thank you.
• Vest of luck, Bear Guy!
• *sniff* All me little monkeyboys growin' up and gettin' jobs...
• All me little monkeyboys growin' up and gettin' jobs... Sheez. My mind's on the gutter tonight. Better log off and... sleep.
• Just got out of my interview. Went very, very well. I have glued boards to my knuckles to automate the whole knocking wood thing.
• good luck!
• and post pics of the suit (with you in it baby)
• Good luck mate.
• Keeping my fingers and eyes crossed, as usual.
• *expertly flips balisong knife around in anticipation*
• Bonne chance MCT!
• Callback interview for Monday. Oh, and I forgot to add, as I was walking into the building, a woman was out front unloading a TRUNKLOAD of girl scout cookies. I walked by, she did a double-take and said "Lookin' SHARP today!" Man, I sailed on that high straight into the interview.
• sweet!
• you go, boy!
• There is something elusively perverted about the woman with a trunkload of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES giving MCT a little shoutout there. or is it just me? tee hee...ahem, I 'll be going now...
• Is that a Thin Mint in your pocket or are you glad to see me?
• I must say there is a certain appeal to the idea of fucking on a pile of Girl Scout cookies. I suppose as long as actual Girl Scouts aren't involved (maybe just a really slutty grownup wearing a really small uniform, and deer antlers), then it'd be okay. Not the Samoas, though. Coconut's itchy.
• ok, so you are banging the 'girl scout mom' on a pile of those chocolate-peanut butter ones-can't remember the name, but they're really good. She's wearing an undersized girl scout uniform, deer antlers and boys Underoos in the Spiderman flavor!!
• "In that case, sir, may I advise against the lady asking for the cookies?"
• Okay, the Underoos just took it to the next level. Let's all do it 'til we can't do it no more.
• Oh, and they're "Tagalongs," btw. Just ate a whole box of them yesterday. Don't know why that is.
• pervert!
• good luck in the monday interviews, mct and bg!
• deer antlers?
• nope, they were selling them off cheap.
• It's a secret society thang. Like the Girl Scouts. Only more . . y'know, secret.
• Glad your interview went well, mct! Mine did, too, though I found out that they have an internal candidate as well :( And the job seemed so cool!
• Crossing my fingers for you, dear. deer antlers? Just lie back and think of moose.
• 
• Wh00t! Congrats Senor Tool!
• Way to go! So, when should I report for lackey duty?
• congratulations!
• Way to go, mct! We're all so proud. Welcome to the world of 9-5, monitored internet usage and no spring break. Ever.
• Congratulations. Now get back to work!
• yay! good for you!
• congrats!
• Woo! Thank Mothra!
• What? Oh, no, that's just a play I really like. You thought -- Ohhhh, I can see why you'd think that. Kidding. Yes, this is a damn glorious day, one that I have very much needed after last week's World O' Crap. The offer I accepted is more than double what I'm making now, folks. This is huge for us. I'm doing backflips right now. We borrowed a digital camera, so pics'll be up soon.
• rereading the start of the thread reminds me of this
• Nice one mct, congrats mate!
• Welcome to paycheck hell, MCT! Monkeyfilter: full of emotion and stirring songs
• Well done, mct. Good luck with the new job. You will be missed in MonkeyNation.
• Woo mct! Congratulations! and hope things work out for you too meredithea!
• congrats!
• Congratulations MCT!
• Woo-hoo! Dat's our boy!
• Yay! (Now how long do you have to be there before you can start slacking off. Oh, and finding me a job there? Wherever it is...anywhere but here...sorry...rambling...)
• Congrats on the new job, MCT!
• Our tool Has left his (last vestige of) childhood behind him. No fool, He knows we'll now know where to find him. Workin' at the car wash. Yeah! He's cool, In duds so fine and dandy. He'll rule 'Cause he is just so handy Workin' at the car wash. Yeah\! He's out there in the mix now, And, he'll get his fix now On projects that entrance, And if he takes a chance, He'll get a trip to France Where the women wear no pants (Oops, I told you he'd left his childhood behind. Why did you make me say that?)Yeah! So, he's workin' in the biz now. And we know he is a whiz, now. So say it with me now! The tool rules! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
• *applauds* Now ye can look forward to buying a second suit, eh, mct?
• MCT won't be able to comment in this thread for a little while - a man's gotta strut sometimes, y'know?
• Congrats! How soon do you get a log-in so you can start slacking like the rest of these wankers?
• Good on you, mate.
• *still reeling from the girl-scout comments above* Woo! Well done fella! *continues reeling*
• Man, there weren't any girl scouts or girl scout fetishists at my interview. Hmmm...
• Okay, so the suit still needs alteration (primarily the coat), but I needed it in a hurry, of course. But it was a passable fit. And awaaaaay we go... Hi, I'll be your realtor this evening. Hi, I'll be your funeral director for this evening. In which I, the world's whitest man, drop it like it's hot. Wendy Whiskey, I can fly! Jazz Hands. Celebrating takes a downturn. I want some beads, dammit. Out showing off my pride and joy. And my wife.
• Who-hoo! Red hot tool - hot wifey too! Oh god I wish I had a suit.
• ok quidnunc you can have a suit OR girlfriend--but not both! MCT, the suit is very nice, the wifey is cute! and the home seemed to be very well stocked with top shelf booze. too bad youse live so far away, many a good party could be had...
• Poor quindunc has to chose between clothes and hothes.
• a plethora of pics! Very handsome suit. MCT, you are indeed The Man.
• Hubba hubba! What a well-appointed living room! Oh and you and Mrs. Tool look nice too.
• That is one sharp suit. David Niven is smiling down at you from sartorial Heaven. Nice phooning, too!
• Looookeeeen Goooood! /studio_audience_applause
• If I had any photoshop skilz, I'd add a small 'Pffp!' to that third photo. But I'm not. Oh well. Yeah -- lookin' good! And that feller beside her -- we can take him.
• I am greatly enjoying the beard action.
• Yeah, you like your 'beards', dontcha? *tee hee*
• You die!
• Great suit and awesome pics! I'd have hired you on the spot before you even opened your mouth.
• You gotta admit, kit, you did set yourself up for that. High-fives the Capt.
• Congrats, mct! Wooo!
• Mh, the 'beads' pic does sour the overall festive feeling of the images... looks like some nobleman, at a sunrise match: 'If you're so vile as to shoot an unarmed gentleman that has forfeited his weapon in sign of forgiveness to what caused this duel to take place, well, then, I offer my ample breast, for your scoundrel of a bullet to pierce my beating hea...' BANG!!!
• As it happens, I recently had occasion to buy a new suit (my old one was a double-breasted, which I've always hated, but bought because my wife of the time really liked it...yeah, I shoulda known better) I used much of the great advice in this thread and just wanted to thank all the helpful participants for getting me into a suit that, if I say so myself, is smokin'. MoFi rocks!
• PICTURES!
• Where?
• CANADA!
• When?
• IN A FEW DAYS WOULD BE FINE, I'M NOT IMPATIENT OR ANYTHING!
• So how's the new job going? Have you lined up all your troll dolls and Happy Meal toys along your desk yet?
• My cube is bereft of decoration so far, however I do have my coffee thermos, my RPG textbooks, my orange, and my mp3 player all in a row. Well, not all in a row as much as securely locked away. People love to prank around here, I discovered. On my first day, the boss stole a wireless mouse from the woman in the cube next to me and submerged it in a gallon jug of mayo. Evidently she loathes mayo too much to go in and get it. So, as the wet-behind-the-ears noob, I'm spending half my time looking over my shoulder. That is to say, I'm loving the environment here. I'm loving not punching a clock. I'm loving being treated like a grown-up on the job, allowed self-directed learning, etc. It's quite a refreshing change of pace. I think I'm going to like it here.
• u. suk. *places nose firmly against the same grindstone it has been placed against for the last 8.5 years, winces*
• stole a wireless mouse from the woman in the cube next to me and submerged it in a gallon jug of mayo. Ugh. I hate it when supposed adults act like 12-year-olds. Especially in a workplace. I recommend keeping a tranquilizer dart loaded with ritalin. *Demands TPS report from Fes*
• Fes, don't worry. mct's grindstone will be delivered next week.
• mct's grindstone will be delivered next week. Yeah, they had to special-order a jug of Miracle Whip big enough to submerge it in.
• (It's got these little paddles on it so instead of just grind-grind-grind it makes this sort of grind-grind-*slap*-grind-*slap* noise.)
• I got your TPS report RIGHT HERE!! Actually, got something in the works, but these things move at glacial speed (pre-warming glacial speed, that is) and it makes coming here that much more spitty. Hopefully, in a couple weeks, I'll have some good news of my own. I mean, I've had FOUR interviews with these people. If they call me in for a fifth and then lowbuck me, I may have to strangle someone.
• So, mct, can you get me a job there?
• So, mct, can you get us all monkeys a job there? I'll bring the mayo! And guacamole! Newbie hazing flashback: at one of my first jobs, aeons ago, I was commisioned to deliver a giant-sized, hollow cardboard domino piece to a grunchy boss on his birthday. He was so perplexed by this item he laughed out loud, and instead razed the culprits for 'wasting valuable material'. Ah. This wacky business...
• Dreadnought and I were a bit confused - we stopped to look at the jackets in his cupboard (all at the cheap end, like $100 or so, maybe less), and they all had sewn lapels. Or do you mean somthing that's more sewn?
• What that means is that the interior of the lapel is sewn together by hand around some sort of ticking, where most lapels are glued. When you see lapels that are "bubbly" (in that they have little wave-like bumps all down the front, usually first forming near the interior, folded edge), that's the glue getting unstuck and restuck by being heated and cooled during the pressing process. The more often you get your jackets pressed (and the cheaper the glue), the faster this occurs. Most mid-price suits and blazers are both machine-sewn and have glued lapels. There's nothing wrong with it per se, but it does represent a certain standard of quality.
• Holy crap. I must have that.
• Snazzy, but I like the cartoon outfit even better. Driver! Bring the coach around! We're off to the theatre!
• *doffs topper, watches coach depart, chases after maid*
• *regrets wearing the maid's outfit today*
• *regrets taking a mental picture of that handsome maid for later personal use*
• *checks to see if anyone's looking, finds naught, resumes chase*
• *tips the Capt a saucy wink, giggles coquettishly*
• *recalls just how old this maid fantasy is, decides to overlook hairy legs in fishnets, goes off to give maid another kind of tip entirely*
• *mulls over snub, descends once again into laudanum-induced madness*
• *Insert "Beds to be made" joke here*
• *Hums to self smugly, ignores passing rabble*
• *gazes longingly at the aloof musical gentleman, dreams of escape and a life of genteel culture*
• *chops vegetables for hassenpfeffer stew* Someone's got to do the bloody work around here!
• *looks up hassenpfeffer stew* *sheds tears for the bunny*                 .".                /  |               /  /              / ,"  .-------.--- / "._ __.-/ o. o\      "   (    Y  )      ___)_____/_     (___________)     /           \    /             \    |             |    |             |     '.__     __.'
• roryk, can I request an ascii-animated 'Watership Down'??? please? PRETTY PRETTY PULLEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!
• it'll be ready two weeks after tracicle enables javascript in comments.
• woohoo!
• Well, HOP to it!
• *stares at mob of dandies and maid outfit-wearing monkeys* Ehhhh... no, I think I've got the wrong address. Bye!
• *flicks frilly skirt in a haughty manner*
• I think "Dandies and Maids" is gonna be the new "Vicars and Tarts."
• Must it always come to this?
• Yes! *flashes a saucy stocking top*
• At least no one's mentioned horse buggery yet.
• I can never remember - are we for horse buggery, or against it?
• Oh Fes! How wonderfully droll!! *gloved-hands-applause*
• *bows slightly* *whispers to valet: "Have petebest killed."*
• *orders one bloody, disembodied horse butt to be surreptitiously placed in Fes' bed*
• *assumes the presence of horse butt in bed is a staunch vote on the "for" side of the issue* *despite the obvious appeal and apparent pro-horse buggery stance of the collective, declines the implied offer and sleeps on couch*
• On All Floors
• (The really amazing thing is that if you Google the exact phrase "horse buggery" two of the top 10 hits are MoFi threads. Our PageRank for horse buggery is among the best in the World. We have achieved our target.)
• Buncha preverts.
• *claps hand to forehead, sighs*
• *lightly dusts the bashi*
• *copy-pastes "horse buggery" into google to check results. "this must be an exaggeration by RalphTheDog, surely"* *finds the MoFi entry. A comment by... tracicle. Chortles* *realizes, by spotting own gmail account name on top of page, that I'd forgot to log-off after checkng my mail and so now, my personal google search profile has 'horse buggery' in it* Oh. Sheeez. *sigh*
• I am considering adding the phrase "horse buggery" to all my future posts, regardless of context. I really feel we can do better than 2 out of 10. Indeed, according to conventional wisdom, if I italicize horse buggery and/or boldicize horse buggery and add a link to horse buggery, it will further advance our position in search engine results. Yes. That's just what I shall do. Please feel free to do some horse buggery of your own.
• ..if you Google the exact phrase "horse buggery" two of the top 10 hits are MoFi threads.. Yeah, but nothingland.com (appropriately titled, if you follow the links) has two hits above both of ours! Beat out by URL not found! Come on guys, where's our pride??
• We lost it on Urine Day*, I think. *Consult Archives, June 16, 2004. Hip-boots recommended.
• um Urine Day is really the centennial of Bloomsday? any connection??
• Yes, Urine Day was a day of low pleasures. But nothing like the depths to which these preverts have sunken NOW. Corpse buggery was bad enough, but THIS!?!?!?!
• Anyone else notice that this week's Doctor Who was rife with comely Victorian parlormaids?
• Arse! I missed it!
• Don't worry, I'll reenact it for you, kit. *puts on comely Victorian parlourmaid outfit* Oh dear, I spilled the box of Spilikins -- I suppose I'd best bend over and gather them up... *presents illicit views of decollete, ankle*
• I dunno, it's just not the same.
• I is actually playing a Victorian parlormaid in a local theater group next month. If I end up with a good pic of me in costume I'll post it.
• Yay!
• Is it the kind of costume that will show your underpants, Monster?
• Would no photo being posted make you blue, Horse?
• Victorian underpants aren't anything to get excited about.
• Then what kind of underpants DO you get excited about, Lara?
• Oh, here, you vintage underwear freaks!
• Oh, great. Now all the bloomer preverts will be glomming onto this post.
• is this the latest ploy to get the lurkers to come out n play?
• C'mon, lurkers. Show us yer bloomers!
• Wadda bloomin' idjuts!
• I'm dressed a Victorian Palour Maid RIGHT NOW!!!
• Well, there's something that was lurking that's now like a post, lemme tell ya.
• Bloomey! Heh. That was fun.
• Never in my life have I contemplated the possibility of Split Crotch Bloomers. This changes everything between me and kit I tell ya!
• Pretty dusty here in MensClothingFilter. Here's a video to brighten things up: Requiem for a Wardrobe (Youtube)
• I miss Fes.