January 22, 2006

• Welcome hey sneed. I broke a leg a couple of years ago. Don't work out while standing on one foot! You need your weight evenly distributed or you'll get back problems. My gym has a machine that's similar to a bicycle that you work with your hands on the "pedals"-- if you can bend your leg enough to sit on one of these, it might be a good start. Talk to staff at your gym for ideas or book a session with a personal trainer there, since some of them will probably be trained in injury rehab. Also, your physiotherapist will probably have some useful ideas. Walking on crutches is a cardio workout in itself. You can go quite fast on crutches by reaching out with one crutch slightly ahead of the other one-- like the action of the forelegs of a galloping horse. (Practice indoors first, obviously.) If taking long invigorating walks on crutches sounds too easy, try climbing a hill. Hauling yourself uphill with your arms at a fast pace will give you all the cardio you need, plus pecs to die for. On days when the weather's crap, just climbing up and down stairs may keep you going for a while. (Mind your balance, obviously.) You are, however, going to have to accept that your injury will slow you down for a while. The good news is that the 2 months or so (if it's a clean break) will go by quickly and you'll see real improvement from week to week. Best of luck! Happy mending.
• oh, and once you can go in the water, swimming is good.
• Commiserations on the leg break. About 10 years ago I was watching a movie with a well-honed Patrick Swayze in it. "That's my project for this year," I said "to get a torso like that." The laughter took some time to die down. Then I broke my ankle and was given crutches. Before too long my upper body was as well-defined as I wanted it to be ... So: use your crutches to get about - it will be very hard work but yer pecs will love you for it.
• I was able to actually balance and walk a bit on my crutches without using my other foot for support. Fantastic exercise. Also, as a piece of advice, NEVER rest your weight on your armpits. The crutches should never touch your armpits. So many people make that mistake. Just to exercises with your arms. Depending on how your leg is broken, you may be able to lie on your back and do leg lifts.
• Masturbate more. But don't allow your self to achieve orgasm, and use your non dominate hand most. Boy it sure is knackering. It's how I keep a healthy heart whilst chained to my desk.
• Sorry to hear about your leg, hey sneed! I sympathize with you completely. I broke my ankle last year & was on crutches for five weeks. I agree with everyone else about the crutches--using those alone was cardio enough for me! And mind Pallas Athena's advice about working out on one leg, you really can cause injury to the good leg if you overuse it in that way. I speak from experience, unfortunately.
• That's the best answer to a CG I've ever seen.
• I mean Randomaction's, obv. The rest are just dull. Apart from the Patrick Swayze one.
• Get yourself a wheelchair and do laps on the local HS or college track. And if the doctor tells you that a certain activity should be avoided...for goodness sake listen. I have the knees of a 40 year old thanks to being headstrong. Im 18.
• Does she want them back?
• Where do you keep them? Under the bed perhaps? Don't trust those ziplock bags, the smell always leaks out. Personally I have the face of a heavy smoker which I keep in Tupperware. Though frankly even that's beginning to reek a bit. Ah well live and learn.
• As a veteran of 16 fractures, I can heartily second all the above advice. Get well soon!
• Same advice here, about using crutches. Broken leg for over four months, and my arms and shoulders were much stronger for it. I don't know about going to the pool though, wet floors made my crutches slip and I got very leery of wet patches anywhere I went.
• Yoga.
• Since you're on crutches, you shouldn't have much trouble keeping your unbroken leg in shape. As for cardio, I highly recommend light weights with high repetitions. Try bench-pressing with just the bar, but do 2 or 3 sets of 100 reps. Try various arm/chest/back workout machines in low weights, and do 2 or 3 sets of 100. It's all about keeping the blood flowing, keeping your heart rate in the cardio zone (~ 140-160bpm), and you can do that with weights. Depending on your upper body strength, pushups in high reps will also give you a good cardio workout. It's all about low weight/high reps.
• Broken leg, eh? HOP! Hop, you one-legged fool! Now procure a parrot, to pearch 'pon ye piratical 'paulette! Now talk ye like the pirate ye be! ARR, matey! Kepping hopping, ye crippled sea-dog! Hop ye to Treasure Island, where the buried dubloons be! Now sing! FIFTEEN MEN ON A DEAD MAN'S CHEST, YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM! Keep hopping, monopod! Bounce, thou uni-leg! Pogo permanently, prince of parabolic perambulation! HOP YOU HIGH, HOP HEAVENWARDS, HOP HEARTILY!
• More seriously: sorry to hear about your injury, and I hope you get heal up soon, mate.
• NOW HOP MORE!
• And I shall be Master Bates.
• Hopping can lead to a broken jaw. As a good friend of my will attest, by rather quietly.
• Nay, earth-bound brethren! Nay twice, crawlers upon the terrestrial plane! Nay thrice, ye dirt barnacles, clingers-to of the soil! For who among you can deny the exquisite thrill of launching yourselves sky-wards with a single muscular thrust? Would you rob this poor demi-biped his chance to scrape the firmament with graceful bounce? Nay, you wriggling snakes, you mudophiles – warn him not with the tale of Icarus! Compare his ascent not to that of Bellerophon! Mention not the safety record of Russian airlines! He has one leg with which to propel himself to angelic realms, thus let us encourage his swift ascension to the super-globular zones – hop to the clouds, you of the shattered femur! HOP HARDER!
• Hi quiddy!
• And sorry to hear about your leg, hey sneed, hope you feel better soon.
• Hi mothy!