January 17, 2006

• I knew a guy in college who had his name changed: his original surname was Hoare.
• I've often though of changing just my middle name, simply to have a part of it be something I chose for myself. Costs too much, though. I love running across unusual names or ones with double meanings, but I do wonder how much stress it puts on a person to constantly hear comments or laughter about his name.
• Yeah, a friend of mine's sister married a guy whose last name is Hoare. She refused to take his name, and won't let their kids be little Hoares either . . .
• A friend of mine changed his name to Fivel Minty Flavour. (He's now Dr. Flavour, actually.) He claimed to have changed it, and none of us believed him until we saw the wedding invites.
• Hoare, Sir Samuel, later 1st Viscount Templewood: revelations about his negotiations at Paris over the fate of Abyssinia led to his resignation. When he delivered up his seals of office King George V is said to have remarked 'no more coals for Newcastle and no more Hoares for Paris'. source
• I notice people still aren't calling me 'Lieutenant'...
• Back in my scribin' days, we used to pore over the bound copies of back issues, and we came across a byline from the '50s with the unlikely name of Harry Weiner. As you might imagine, a cult of personality grew up around Mr. Weiner in our news office, and we would attribute various activities, scoops, etc. to him. But by far the most prevalent theory was that he would constantly proclaim that he was French and his last name pronouced "ween-YAY." Newbs were tortured by our telling them that this or that could be found on "ween-Yay's desk." "ween-Yay" would leave phone messages on article source's machines. The failure to accomplish distasteful tasks was laid at his feet ("I thought ween-Yay was supposed to handle refilling the waxers...?") It got to the point where he became a sort of invisible sidekick to our staff. Ah, Harry, we barely knew ya. *sniffle*
• Shit, SPELLED it wrong. it was Harry Wenier. My pea-sized brain spelled the obvious connotation rather than the actual word. Twice, no less. Sorry.
• har. I have a pretty comical last name myself (no, I won't share, because its my last name, and this is the internets) but no where near as bad as that poor guy. somewhat to my own surprise, when I got married I decided not to change my name.
• Went to high school with a person named Tan Pan.
• Went to high school with a Filipino girl named Amy Tan. She ran for student council, and one of her slogans was 'Tan-ed all year'.
• (Not Amy Tan the writer -- another Amy Tan.)
• A former roommate of mine told me about a guy he'd known named Ed McGuffin, who got called 'Egg McMuffin' all through college...
• Last weekend, I walked past (but sadly didn't enter) a Chinese eatery which proudly proclaimed itself to be the "MAN HO RESTAURANT".
• I have no middle name, but if forced to pick one, I'd choose "Blankety"
• Maaaaaaaaaaaan Hooooooooooooooooooo! ... he yelled from the crows-nest
• Yes?
• I must eat in the restaurant!!
• "...Boladale Dehinde Adeyemi, 18, became Boladale Anthony Olumide Omotayo Omotoyingo..." I once met a woman named Sandy Bottoms. In grade school I knew a Meadow Hill.
• Last weekend, I walked past (but sadly didn't enter) a Chinese eatery which proudly proclaimed itself to be the "MAN HO RESTAURANT". We must have a Monkey banquet there.
• "Last weekend, I walked past (but sadly didn't enter) a Chinese eatery which proudly proclaimed itself to be the "MAN HO RESTAURANT"." For years, we had a massage therapist in town who had a sign posted "FOR SKIN TREATMENT".
• My last name is Sexgodoffinlandia. I'm very popular. Actually, there was a News of the Weird Story yeeeeeeears ago about a guy who was ordered by the court to keep his legal name for ninety days after he'd changed it and then started having second thoughts. He had changed it to Jesus Christ Hallelujah.
• I went to high school with a boy named John Bobbit. He won class president on name recognition.
• I once worked with a girl whose last name - married name, iirc - was Uren. I don't know what first name her parents gave her, but she answered to Twinkle.
• No she didn't. Halle Berry anyone?
• A former girlfriend claimed, in all seriouslness, that she had a business meeting with a man called Ivor Hardon Allegedly he looked her in the eye and said "Hello, I'm Mr HARDIN"
• "I have a very great friend in Rome called Biggus Dickus..."
• Blaise, I've walked past a Man Ho in Clapham, which is quite appropriate, considering. A swift Google reveals at least three restaurants of that name in Britain, and even more worldwide. Alas, the one in Clapham is takeout only-- you must enjoy your Man Ho at home, it seems... Also, Yorkshire Bank Plc Are Fascist Bastards. (top right)
• And there's always: Pho Shizzle mmm.... pho... Thankfully I live near a number of Vietnamese restaurants.
• There's a Chinese place in Cooperstown named Foo Kin. Quite tasty, too.
• I went to college with a girl whose last name was "Swallows". And my son goes to school with a boy who is deathly allergic to nuts. His last name: Nopenuts (pronounced "no peanuts").
• I used to work with a girl who hyphenated her name: Genvieve Berry-Pye Also in the same company, there was a gal named Vanessa Beryessa.
• Oh, and I SWEAR TO FREAKIN' GAHD those are real.
• The Monster: What's wrong with the middle name of Underpants? It's quite cute. And it fits you. I went to school with Richard Lester. Poor Dick Les. And the parents that inflicted Michelle Mable on their daughter during the Beetles era should have been shot.
• I was once a patient of Dr Butcher. Dr Dick Butcher, no less.
• I went to school with a girl called Roxanne Ricks. In spite of the name, she was sort of mousy and fairly unexceptional. And I hope she isn't reading this.
• "Fook Kin" is actually how a Cantonese would pronounce the name of the Fujian dialect or province. And the English meaning of the last word in my name 燕, alas, is "swallow" (the bird). Although strangely, even in Chinese there is a homophone for the word which means "to swallow" 咽.
• Dr. Butt is an orthodontist in my neighborhood.
• I had a class once with a girl whose name was Smoky Darling. Hand to God. She wasn't there the first day of class, and when the professor called roll, he almost threw the roll sheet across the room. "I've been waiting for MONTHS to say that name, and she's not here!"
• Psstt! I have a dirty mind. Indeed, I wouldn't mention this if it were any cleaner: Mr Spork has an emerald-green weiner!
• We have some businesses here called Phuket Thai and Assibang. (Well, Assibang recently changed their name to Ashibang, but still). There's also a Chinese food place here named Chinese Food Place.
• I went to school with a girl named Debby Willing. Heh-heh.
• There's also a Chinese food place here named Chinese Food Place. Now THAT'S a restaurant owner with a sense of humor about his language!
• Once worked on an industrial site where we all communicated by radio. If you wanted to speak to someone, you spoke their name on the radio ie: "John Smith, John Smith" and the reply would be: "Go ahead for John Smith" We, briefly, had a chap named Bill Zbeitnoff on site (first named changed) and the reply on the radio, not from him, was invariably "Again"
• lol@islander's story
• Knew a guy in elementary school who was saddled with the name Kiley K. Riley. He was a nice guy, and didn't seem to take too much flack about the rhyming name. Also knew a Candy Kane, she was a bank teller. I think it was actually her married name, but she was always wearing red stripes around the winter holidays. (Didn't know her personally but I remember going through the bank drive-through with my parents and giggling about the name...)
• Annette Curtin went to school with a friend of mine. At my school, we had Simon Bates, whom one of the teachers delighted in referring to as "Master __". I've heard several times of a west of Ireland solicitor's practice called "Crooked and Fibbs".
• Also knew a Candy Kane, she was a bank teller. She missed out on quite a good porn career.