January 13, 2006

• During my time as Governor, drug dealers and users will live in fear. I will introduce extremely harsh punishment for those who not only use illegal drugs, I will fight to make dealers serve life in prison, or better yet, Impalement. Any Terrorist who is caught in Minnesota while I am Governor, will find out what the true meaning of my nickname 'The Impaler' means. Right in front of our State Capital. Then Fed’s can take the terrorist’s body from the impaling stake. If the US Department of Justice (DOJ) wants to charge me with brutally murdering a terrorist, they may do so. I do not see an American Jury convicting me. I will not deny or try to cover the fact that in 2008, I am running for the presidency. Yeah.
• It is a common misconception that Satanic people are evil. I can't stop giggling. Gee, where the heck did us closed-minded fucks get THAT impression?
• Check out the covens he co-owns. He mentions New Salem Witchhunts and otherkin in the same paragraph.
• It's people like him that make the normal Satanists look bad. Dear me, otherkin. That's just the bottom of the ladder. (Well, close. Second to last. http://seapagan.org/pagan-hierarchy/pagan-hierarchy.png )
• Those lucky Minnesotans. I'd pick this guy over Paul Martin or Stephen Harper any day.
• Now, what does Impalement mean to other people? In general, it seems to be running through someone with a sharp stake. However, at least some historical instances have involved placing the victim upon a fixed stake, centered upon the nether orifice. Not that that isn't too good for some people.
• You know, I'm all for him running for president. If you were a terrorist, who would you be more afraid of: Chimpy or The Dark Lord of America? wait, don't answer that...
• For that matter, if Bush and this guy were running against each other, I can't say that I wouldn't vote for Stan Satan here.
• Given how well the pro wrestler worked out (not well, but not for the reasons you'd think), I'm gonna say no.
• Far more entertaining than Stephen Harper.
• Wow, imagine the 2008 race: Arnold 'Conan' Schwarzenneger against this guy. Televised debates: one sword, two men enter, one man leaves the TV studio.
• EarWax: from his screed, I would think that the candidate favours the "stationary stake" method. Possibly topped with a piece of pineapple or an olive. Y'know, classy-like.
• So, according to his site he used his "political power" in high school to get an administrator fired. Doesn't sound that much different than Bush to me.
• Yea, but who's he going to appoint? That's my worry.
• Yea, but who's he going to appoint? That's my worry. Something to be truely worried of: Harry Potter fangirls.
• Any Terrorist who is caught in Minnesota while I am Governor, will find out what the true meaning of my nickname 'The Impaler' means Any hot slutty chixxx who live within the M25 can find out what the true meaning of my nickname "The droopster" means in its meaning. I mean it.
• quid, but... what do you really mean? Have you guys read this page on how the candidate became a Satanist? Just like Anakin? It's hilarious. My sister has a saying, "Evil Begets Evil!" Well, starting in 2007, it will be the criminals who realize first hand, that there is someone more evil than they are, who cares about the safety and well-being of the innocent! You can tell he's evil by the way he abuses that poor comma.
• I love how everything bad that has ever happened to him is either the fault of a wife, an ex-wife or an ex-fiancee. One would think that the "Dark Lord of America" would avoid stooping to blaming women for all of his failings. Oh, and I can think of no better way to get the good people of Lake Wobegone to vote for you than to publically admit that you once accidentally slept with your half-sister. Freud would have a field day with this guy.
• Oh my God, the more I read the link the better it gets. Thanks for posting.
• I couldn't get past 'The Impaler.' *shakes head*
• Yeah, but you couldn't go past "the bone" either.
• ;)
• "...during 4th grade, I became an Alter Boy. I served as an Alter Boy until entering the US Army in 1981." Not an altar boy, mind you. An Alter boy. I think it has something to do with spaying cats in the front of church.
• Well done, nicely played. Congratulations, quid! *high five*
• Hee hee.
• In an effort to gain strength and power, I started taking performance enhancing pills. Impale thyself!
• Them Minnesota winters would be a heck of a lot warmer with hellfire burning in the Capitol.
• I waded through many pages of that druck but nowhere does it say what he claims to have a PhD in. I would really, really like to know what mail-order service he used to buy the fake diploma.
• Well, I can't speak to how attuned to the dark side this guy really is, but Evil really has a hold on the site's graphics.
• >On 26 Jun 86, our son Matthew was born. Shortly after his birth, my desire to return to active duty in the Army engulfed me. ...a family man.
• He seems to collect ex-wives the way my mother-in-law picked up beanie babies back in the late 90s. What a nut... and a new link on MeFi is reporting that his wife has lost her bus-driving job? Poor, poor persecuted Wiccan vampires.
• "Intervyew With The Vampyre" [down a bit]. Wants to impale both Bush and Bin Laden. Poor wife got fired as a bus driver for being a pagan.
• And those are some pretty shiny cloaks he has on offer. You'd think that a dark lord would go for your basic earth tones. And something that doesn't look like a rain poncho from the Maid of the Mist.
• >Poor wife got fired as a bus driver for being a pagan. Did you read some of the stuff the guy wrote about how he started boxing because 'the rage was building up inside me again'? I think his wife got fired for being married to a guy who's barking mad, and probably violent.
• I guess he won't be running after all, as he was just arrested on two felony counts.
• Stalker, eh? Didn't see that one comin'.
• CD from Minnesota GOP also gathers data