January 09, 2006

• hey, that was supposed to say, "Wandering George:" but it didn't. So that's what the preview button is all about, huh?
• Is this a post about euthanasia? sorry
• What do you mean, "it didn't"? You're obviously crazy. What sort of farm is it? Are you planning to sell it as a whole or sell the farm and keep the home, or sell the stock off and sell the land separately, or subdivide the land? What about the plant (vehicles, farming equipment)? My uncle-in-law just sold his farm recently and those were all issues he had to consider. He wound up selling to a friend and neighbour. Sold the land, including the house, and kept all the stock and plant and bought a new farm. Decide what you want to sell and what you want to keep, and stick to it. Make sure you have an agent that knows about farms because you're a farmer and the prospective buyer is a farmer and you don't want a layperson to be fielding questions they don't understand. Set a date for possession that gives you ample time to move all your equipment if you're taking it with you. Are you planning on getting out of farming or trying something new?
• What #1 said. This will be completely different if this is a sale of the entire business or just the land. Depending on what kind of operation it is, you may need to think about the transfer of quota, which is more than likely worth more than the land itself. Also, the sale process will be aided tremendously if you have the relevant environmental checks in hand, and a decent, up to date survey. If you have those, there won't be any surprises later on, and the sale price will be accurate from the start. Get an experienced and specialized farm real estate agent. If your jurisdiction is anything like here, farms have exceptions for everything. You'll need to have someone who knows their way around those rules. Same for an accountant, who can help you plan your sale in the best way for you. It'll cost you to have it done right, but it always costs more when you dick around and mess it up.
• Dunno what's next -- I think I'll keep on doing what I'm doing now, which is subsistance farming. I just finally dicided that I don't need this many acres to do it. Mean time, my dad gave me the one really good piece of advice I need, similar to Capt. Renault's: talk to a lawywer. Best $100 I can spend.
• and remember--the best way to make a million dollars by farming is to start with two million. Yes, talk to a lawyer and talk to a reputable farm sales agency as advised upthread. Your mortgage or business banker is probably the least-best choice, since the profit motive may overtake his or her desire to be fair to you. (based on real-lefe occurrences within the immediate family)
• uh, real life
• FInd out if there are any plans to put new (or larger) roads in the area. Find out if your zoning laws have changed-if your farm is suitable for sub-dividing you could possibly make more money. Even though I think it is evil and fucked up to add to the suburban slough it's bona fide easy money. Especially if you are anywhere near an interstate. I wish I could buy your farm. I want to raise Scottish Deerhounds.
• Have you thought about leasing out your extra acres? This could be a good option this coming summer while you decide what to do with them. Plus, if you decide to sell, you might have a ready buyer in the leasee.
• Koko--I also initially read this post to be about buying the farm rather than selling it. Hence my confusion with all this real estate talk.
• Alas, anyone who has already bought the farm is unable to offer any advise.
• stomper - from your profile, it sounds as though you're raising meat animals for your own consumption. Unless your acreage is pretty big, you might have some environmental issues that would make selling a parcel for a housing subdivision difficult. However, I've seen some successful attempts in my rural California area to sell larger "ranchettes" of an acre or five to folks who want to have a couple of horses, or raise a few head of cattle. Factors which might be influential are roads and easements, and whether they would have access to wells or city water/sewage/garbage-collection. On the other hand, when I lived in Oklahoma, there were small housing subdivisions scattered throughout the wooded areas outside Tulsa, so I'd guess it depends on where you're located. You might want to check out websites of local real estate agents to see what the asking price is for farm land acreage, or housing lots, and whether smallish parcels are readily available for small ranches. If you find an agent that looks ok, they can show you what comparable offerings have brought in the recent past. And, I can understand your hesitation about relying too much on agents. They're supposed to be working for the seller, who pays their commissions, but, often, they are so set on moving a property that they will sometimes lead you astray, just to get a sale to happen. Basically, I think you'll have to do research. If your backlog of information is really good, you might want to go the "sale by owner" route. If you're not up to that, you'll have to pick an agent, and that takes a different type of research. In any case, best of luck.
• MonkeyFilter denizens should band together and buy the farm; make it a collective.
• I hate getting my hands dirty, so I'd have to do the bookkeeping, or cooking, or something. And if the farm is in the humid, tornado ridden areas of the US, well, good luck to the rest of you.
• I'm in. I'll milk the ATMs.
• I will pet the baby animals. Um, and run the little red schoolhouse, since petting the baby animals is the extent of my mad farming skillz.
• I want to raise blooded horses and beef cattle. I'll round them beeves up and brand 'em. Castrate 'em and vaccinate 'em. Run 'em through the dip when they get lice. And for good measure, I'll take care of you mangy Monkeys, too.
• Moonshine and cannabis growing, here.
• Fuck, that whole concept is lovely to think about. You know what, I don't doubt we *could* actually do it, too; we got enough people. Buy shares in the farm. A commune, by jiggery. A kibbutz.
• I'll bet we could pull it off too! Although some of us might need a little training.
• I'll grow us some veges and dig taters.
• I'll mosey.
• i find ducks very amusing and would like to be a duckherd. i can also contribute to the horticultural side.
• Someone will have to keep quid away from the livestock. We'll have to work in shifts. I'll take 8AM to 4PM.
• I'll mosey over from 4pm to 4.30pm.
• I will see to the care and feeding of the baby panda.
• *spits chewin tabaccy* .......Yyyyup..... *moseys off into the sunset*
• I'll milk the oxen and gather eggs from the capons.
• I'm so in. I can cook, clean, garden and do light maintenance. I'll take care of Quid, too. ;>
• I'll put up a mess of preserves.
• *starts playing banjo*
• I can help us start our own agricultural college. And I know how to make plastic out of cornstarch. And spin wool with an apple and a pencil. I make a mean origami pig. I know all the songs from Oklahoma. If nothing else, I volunteer to steal pies off the neighbors' windowsills!
• Now, we need someone who plays the guitar, and a jug band.
• Yyyyup.
• Awww shucks, yer makin me cry. I got yer jug band right here. And since I seen what Chy wants to farm, I decided to keep a little less than half, so you got 44 acres to play with there feller monkeys. A monkey-poke could do some moseyin on that I'd say.
• I'll stand around in my overalls with nothing underneat and a single blade of wheat in my mouth, and occasionally say things like "Yessir, storm's a-comin'" and "The ol' Smith place? Ain't nobody there in nigh-on 47 years...", before smacking my toothless gums.
• Yyyyup.
• *enjoys feel of overalls with nothing underneath, smooths fabric over torso*
• Yessir, wind's stirrin' from the west...
• Who can we get to wander around in a negligee, high heels, and a blond wig, speaking an a thick Hungarian accent and burning pancakes?
• I volunteer moneyjane for that duty.
• or petebest.
• Nein! I nominate Judge Alito.
• sets ducks in a row. watches some of them waddle off. giggles. sets ducks in a row again.
• Will chicken wire be sufficient to contain the pandas, do you think?
• Because I can't find any place that sells panda wire, you see. So I just...never mind. Anybody seen my nail gun?
• I'll take care of Quid, too. A thankless job, Darshen. Jest put him in the bull pen. I think it's about time to round 'em up and run 'em through the chute. Get out the hoof n' mouth shots, the balling gun, yer brandin' iron, and the emasculators. I'm jest a goin'a do ma job here. **spits tebacca juice** Petebest! Ged'on in thar and fry us up a passel of hotcakes. We're gonna be mighty hungry after this work.
• Yyyyup.
• That's aaaayYyup... My hotcakes aren't hot. I'm working on making the pandas glow green, so if they run away we can find them at night. Now all I need is somebody to help me pick up the eggs when they lay them.
• How the hell did I miss this? I could have been part of the fantasy farm but NO! I had to go to WORK or something! *cries* *yearns for a tomorrow that can never be*
• *pats MCT's hand* Today is the first day of the end of your life.
• *breaks into song* *trails off due to crushing disappointment* *gazes at the horizon longingly* *bursts into song again*
• Oh, oh, can I be the crazy uncle who lives in the shack on the back forty and invites young sexy hitchhikers who are never seen again to spend the night and who prepares exotice meats that taste like chicken in the smokehouse.
• *checks Berek's aptitude test*
• How the hell did I miss this? How the hell did you find this?! "No link threads were found matching your search criteria." 'course the seerch criterie is m'own bidness.
• Try "sell the farm."
• Just don't try "bought the farm". That will get you threads about dead people.
• *sniff* I'll never let go of the Monkeyfarm dream. Someday...
• The corn is as high as a baby panda's eye...
• Time to geddout there and harvest them thar zucchinis!
• We've homegrown tomatoes in profusion, though summer squashed in the confusion. All these vines were so much shorter as we cucumber from the previous quarter. ;]
• I'm starvin'! Did pete ever finish them hotcakes?
• I hear that Jonestown is nice this time of year.
• How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen Jonestown?
• I got a sudden hankerin' for this tread. Stomper, are you still with us? Is the farm still there? And the jug band?
• Looks like he's on the road, touring as a solo act of sorts. I'm sure the farm's there, buried somewhere beneath the snow. Not a bad time to be on the road, really.
• Now's 'bout as good a time as any, I reckon.
• Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyup.
• *squints into the sun*
• *squirts into the sun*
• Here's a sample from the jug band
• Say, fellows, correct me if I'm wrong, but there seems to be some sort of dashed bright golden haze on the medder.
• True, but what with that damned elephant moseying around the corn field, there won't be much of a crop.
• MMmm-hmm.
• *whittles*
• *Applies for EU subsidies*